YIPEEEEEEEEEE

Summer vacation started at exactly 4:00 pm today............

see me do the happy dance.

Amazing

Know what that thing is in the above picture??

Well if you have ever done any home renovations... you will recognize it as the plain ordinary necessary paint stirrer.

BUT you might be wrong............

Sir used it this past weekend as His handy dandy spank the sub stick.

Paint stirrers - at least the one Sir used - are flexible. They bend when they hit... they sting when they hit......... AND they can be used to spank the smallest of spots..like my clit.......... over and over and over again!!

After a Saturday of spank the sub's ass with the white teflon spanker that magically molds to the ass (and after use returns to it's normal flat shape) and leaves bruising............ (yes yes Sir actually managed to bruise this leather ass of mine!!) Sunday was deemed cunt day...........

Sir had me lying on my back - legs spread wide........ with one hand He held open my pussy and with the other - used the now infamous paint stirrer to slap away at the inner lining of my pussy, and with a tug on the jewelry - my exposed clit. and no i am NOT complaining.. it was amazing............. i love pussy torture in any form.......... (don't ask why - i have no idea........... come near my tits the same way i run screaming from the room)

Besides all the spanking - there were two phenomenal orgasms... (after a month or so of none.. my pussy felt stretched, bruised and ohhhhhhh so used)

On the service side.. let's see.. i dead headed Sir's hanging baskets (actually they are hanging bags ) caught and released two really weird flying bugs (no i did NOT kill them geeeeeeeeez !!! if you can catch and release you should) ... i cooked an ok make shift Saturday night dinner - as the steaks never did defrost.. supervised Sir barbequing sausages on Sunday......... of course i did all the washing up........

oh yeah.. and for good measure and to make sure Sir got enough protein .. i sliced my thumb up into the salad on Saturday..........

i declare this weekend - AMAZING !!!

Fright or flight

i am working off the lap top today.. a lap top that seems to be thinking it should be allowed to go on summer vacation (insert eye roll) so be patient with the quality of this entry..

BUT i have these thoughts rolling around in my head and if they don't come out.. my head may very well explode.

i was reading some blogs this morning (before the lap top packed up and left for the beach) ... and one specifically rattled my windows and shook up my calm......

On Darklight Stables Cloud wrote;
"I want them to scurry about because they fear my disappointment, my anger and my discipline
in other words they fear me. "

ok .. whoa.. stop..


those words "they fear me" punched me in the gut.... took my breath away.... made my heart pound and my palms sweat.

Fear has nothing to do with respect.. or trust. Synonyms for fear are ...... fright, dread, terror, horror, panic, alarm, consternation, trepidation

"Fear is the parent of cruelty" (J.A. Froude).

Fear causes the body to react with a flight response....

i am left wondering why any Dominant would want His minions to fear Him??? i am wondering why any submissive/slave would stay with a Dominant they feared??

i am not saying i have not experienced fear with Sir.. cause i have.. fear of the knife sliding inside my cunt.. fear of the flame licking at my body.. fear of the whip cutting through the air... fear of disappointing Sir....... but i have never feared Sir Himself. i respect Him.. i trust Him.. otherwise the knife wouldn't be sliding anywhere on my body.. the flame wouldn't be lit, and the whip would hang on the wall...

And that is just my 2cents on the subject....

Excited..

What a difference a day makes ya know??

ok ok so it is more than a day.......... but still i am so excited............

First off.... a fellow blogger and i are working out plans to meet........ to meet face to face !!! over coffee next week.... she will be in town and i will be on summer holidays.. and coffee is calling............. i can hardly sit still...........

Second... i only work a half day today and will be leaving from work to go to Sir's for the weekend.. my bags are packed - including the lap top - and by mid afternoon i should be safely tucked away in His house.......

Thirdly......... well..... this one is a mix of emotions..
i have applied for a transfer to a new school............... a tough school (like mine isn't tough now!!)
i have been making lists.. pros and cons.. ya know what i mean...... the lists you make when you can't really make up your mind......... cause i wanna go.. but i wanna stay........ i am the girl who HATES change......... yet i applied for a big change.......... what the hell was i thinking???

i will be leaving "my kids" behind..
but i will for sure find new kids that will need my special talents......

i will be leaving behind the problem staff members who are driving me f--king nuts !!! bitch bitch bitch is all they seem to do........ and then despite what i ask.. they do what they want anyways........ i am leaving behind the blow ups and the melt downs and the back stabbing.........
but i don't know what i will be walking into....... my grandmother always used to say "better the devil you know than the one you don't" and i hear there is little programming or direction in the staff i am going to .........

it will be a 10 minute drive on city streets - so much closer to home.. even - maybe - allowing me to run home during the day for lunch and a rest...... and no more highway driving in the dead of winter before the sun rises..

BUT everything is just about ready for the new year at my school - i have done all the ordering.. the registrations are 90% completed - my staffing is done - i was getting a new lap top and a smart board.. i could do the job blind folded.. i love my new principal... i was thinking i could quite literally take the whole summer off knowing everything was ready - even 90% of my programming for next year.......
in the new place - god only knows what is ready and what isn't.. what i am walking into and what i am not walking into... i most definitely won't have a new lap top or a smart board.. i will be on my toes.. challenged .. every single minute of every single day - till i get the hang of things.. names.. kids.. rooms.. routines...
i have 5 years left till i retire.. WHO opts for a new challenge with 5 years to go.. don't most people coast to retirement??

WHAT AM I THINKING??

and worse than that... why i am worrying NOW.. i don't even know if i will be considered for the job never mind get the job !!

Anyway............ because you made your way through my angst to this point.. i think you deserve a prize.. and i did promise i would get back to posting to the "other" blogs.. so go check out the Photojournal - i have posted some summer pictures...

Pet Peeve......

Ok.. so enough of the self flagellation.. hair shirts and public humiliation.......


my dear friend swan - over on the Heron Clan - left this comment for me yesterday.....
"I was struck by the RED color references in your post, and I wondered what it might mean to be so immersed in a particular color... So I checked, and here's what I found:

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination as well as passion, desire, and love.

Red is a very emotionally intense color. It enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. It has very high visibility, which is why stop signs, stoplights, and fire equipment are usually painted red. In heraldry, red is used to indicate courage. It is a color found in many national flags.

...In advertising, red is often used to evoke erotic feelings (red lips, red nails, red-light districts, 'Lady in Red', etc). Red is widely used to indicate danger (high voltage signs, traffic lights). This color is also commonly associated with energy...

Light red represents joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity, and love.
Pink signifies romance, love, and friendship. It denotes feminine qualities and passiveness.
Dark red is associated with vigor, willpower, rage, anger, leadership, courage, longing, malice, and wrath."

i will credit her .. and my day in the summer sunshine.. for my desire to move on here on The Journey.......... close the back stage curtains... and come out front stage and get on with "things" :)

(phewwwwwwwwwww aren't you all glad that spasm / hiccup is over??)

While i am on the topic of comments........... and before i get to my Pet Peeve... there are no words to describe the out pouring of support, caring, and virtual hugs that i have received over the last couple of weeks....no words to properly thank you all for your comments and emails. No words to tell you how much they touched my heart.. or how they made me cry.. thank you each and every one of you !!! and please forgive me for not writing to each of you individually - i was just not up to writing........ and when the sky started to clear - well i just didn't know what to say........ (but i am working on that !!)

Ok.. so now... my Pet Peeve........

i really do hate .......... HATE ........ back stabbers.... people who look you in the face and say one thing.. then the minute your back is turned .. say something completely different..

i encounter people like that a lot........... at work mostly.. but yeah in my private life too....

Most of the time i try to let it all run off my back like water off a duck's back....... except for a comment the other day by the infamous "anonymous" who wrote "you have hurt others"........... no name.. no connection... just 4 little words. And it isn't the first time that the infamous "anonymous" has left such comments on my blog... usually i dump 'em....... but this time i left it.. mainly cause i had every intention of touching on it......... ok ok more than touching on it.

Enough already with the sneaking around like a thief in the night...... all of you ... for god's sakes grow a back bone.. stand up and be counted !!! IF i have done something to hurt you.. or if you don't agree with me.. for god's sakes face me and tell me....... stop whining about it behind my back..... leaving inneundos around hoping i might see them or hear them.. Grow a back bone i say !! stand up to me and tell me what you think........ honestly and openly..........

And give me the chance to explain .......... or apologize......... or tell you to go to hell.. but give me a chance.

ok.. getting down off my soap box.. putting it away...from now on.. i will go back to dumping anonymous comments that spew forth hurt and disdain.....be warned !!

Now i am off to work.. 4 more working days till my summer officially begins !!! and then .. with all that time on my hands........who knows.. i might just turn out an installment or two for the Fictional Journey.. find a picture or two for the Photojournal.........