School is looming on the horizon....... and a new normal for me. AND I am stressing (what else is new!)
I'm not sure too many people will understand ............
School starts (for us) in a week or so - who knows - no one will tell us the exact date the lil one will start......... hell our board still does not have a plan for distance learning... will it be a virtual school or will they live stream each class for the kiddies working from home. Personally I prefer the live streaming - and before anyone jumps all over me for putting more work on the teachers - I am a retired teacher and believe it could and would work well !!!
I haven't slept properly in over a week now....... trying to sort things out in my head... trying to figure out how things will work now the lil one will be home with us (really me) 5 days a week.
Where will she work ?? Originally I thought at the kitchen table... but then how do I work in the kitchen without distracting her?? Soooooooo make some adjustments and move her to her bedroom to work........
Cleaning the house - gonna have to do it on her schedule now - can't exactly be vacuuming while she's trying to listen to a teacher right?
My appointments - Sir Steve will have to work from home I guess when I have dental appointments (or any appointment for that matter)
Groceries and messages (that I always did first thing in the morning when I had energy and the shops weren't crowded) will now have to be done on Fridays after 3
My hair appointments - can't bring the lil one with me... will have to see if I can change my set time from Fridays at 11 to Fridays at 4
and I have to give up my Fridays - which were always MY day. I would put the lil one on the school bus and then the day was mine - for showers and shaving and pampering and manicures ..... anything I wanted to do......... those days are gone now.
and my rest/nap time - every day I used to lie on the sofa and relax - some days I napped some days I just relaxed before I met the school bus... that hour of each day which was mine will be gone now.
How does this new normal affect the mother? Not one bit! She will get her mother to pick up every Friday at 2:30 and drop off every Monday by 8am - just like normal.
How will this new normal affect Sir Steve? Not much.... he'll leave for work in the morning as usual and come home at 5 as usual - except for the odd day when he will have to work from home - really no change.
When I came into this relationship I came with my eyes open - fully aware I would have a small kiddie in my life again. I thought I had covered all the possible problems that could arise... thought I had covered everything........ no way I could have seen a pandemic that would drastically change my life and my routines...... no way!!!
I'm tired you know.......... very tired. I asked Sir Steve if he couldn't juggle the schedule and get me a week by myself before school starts...... let the mother take care of her own child so I can try and get myself under control. I can have that week IF the Board/school doesn't insist on her starting on the 11th........... if they do I will get 3 days - only 3 days. Everyone just figures I will handle it..... that I am strong and will manage. BUT ya know - I am not sure I am that strong anymore...and I would like to do more than just 'manage'.
May I survive this new normal.........
Morningstar what can I say you are an awesome step-mom and the real mom if she even deserves that title should be damn grateful to you, but she is a selfish *** so will not of course care that you are raising her child for her. The little one (and Sir Steve!) is so lucky to have you and she will know this when she is older if not now, mine used to miss their useless father but once they hit their teens and saw what he really was they ‘got’ it and stopped making my life difficult as I kept him out of theirs to reduce the damage to them and were happy that I had done so.
ReplyDeleteTry and eke out some time for you even if just 15 mins. At least claim small victories in that regard. There is no easy way out of this, you will continue to give and everyone else will take because you are a preset amazing woman as my reading here for many years has shown.
Sometimes it really really sucks to be the only grown up in a relationship but that is just how it rolls sometimes and is bloody unfair. I think that you should feel happy that you are able to basically rescue the little one from too much input from the destructive side of her family, and accept that you really and truly are an angel in disguise here on earth!
:.-(
ReplyDeleteI am sorry the COVID-19 is causing all this worry and I HOPE you can get through this mess, something I am not sure I will.
I have FAITH in you and you finding a way to deal with this somehow.
Warren
I feel so bad for you- like you, I cherish that little bit of time out of a busy day when you cater to everyone else, a time to breathe and replenish, to take a huge breath and say, this TIME means I can do it... you're amazing -truly amazing - I don't know if I would have the courage, the energy, hell, the incentive to take on what you've taken on. I do feel the little one has benefitted enormously from having you in her life but you also need some backup- some support, something that makes it possible for you to keep taking on this huge task.
ReplyDelete(((Hugs))) Morningstar, deep breath. You rocked home schooling before and will this time. You are an amazing step-mom and the lil one is blessed to have you both as a step-mom and teacher.
ReplyDeleteWishing you the best with it all.
Hugs
Roz
I know this still sounds awful - but give it until 2022. I think craziness will continue a while longer, but I do think we'll get back to some normal as we remember it. For now take time off every month. At least two days - go somewhere if you have to and let the world turn without you for a short time. I'm heading to a small Inn in the mountains for a few days. Basically taking a break from not doing a damn thing. I just want it, you need it.
ReplyDelete