Finding the Truth

Sometimes I doubt myself -- I was taught that if everyone else disagrees with you -- what makes you think you are right.

So thanks to that slightly skewered training -- I tend to believe when I don't agree with a situation I shut up because I must be wrong right?? 

Until recently I have never actually been part of a poly relationship -- but I have witnessed some good poly relationships and had a vague idea of what they should look like / feel like.

I know no partner in a poly should feel manipulated - or lied to - or made to feel less...... 

I know that though poly partners do not have to be together 100% of the time -- that some time together - some time laughing and sharing and being FRIENDS goes a long way to building a strong relationship for everyone. 

I believe respect is an important part of a poly relationship -- respect for each person involved in it.

I believe it is not a competition either -- it should be team work - where everyone works together for the best of the GROUP -- not the best for ONE.  As a coach once said "There is no*I* in the word TEAM"

I honestly believe (now) that the important thing about poly is caring about each member in the relationship -- equally.  The one with the cock does not deserve the most of the attention....... The ones with the pussies do not plot and plan and scheme to have the most attention from the 'cock of the walk' .  The stronger the leadership the less disquiet in the group.

I have been told to walk away from the poly group I was in.  It wasn't a big surprise.  I have felt the hand on my back pushing me further and further away -- and I didn't fight it.  It just got to a point that I realized it wasn't worth it -- it wasn't a poly group -- it felt a whole lot more like a competition -- and I don't DO competitions.

There may be a name for what I was involved in -- but poly wasn't it.  Open relationship maybe??? but definitely not poly -- not by my definition of poly. 

I will continue learning what poly really means - what poly really looks like and feels like... and I am confident I will find the right fit for me -- where I feel valued and cared for and loved by ALL members of the group.... I will find a poly relationship where there are no secrets - where openness and honesty is an important foundation for the growth of the group.  Where there is real communication - not manipulation.  

And then I will have come home............