Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Back in 2002, the movie The Secretary came out. i am not sure how many folks saw it.. but i saw it with Sir, loved it so much that i organized a movie outing for the BDSM community (which was a huge success if i say so myself!!)

The movie really stirred my imagination........ got my juices flowing ........... made me hot.

There were numerous scenes in the movie based on humiliation....... the above picture being one of them. BUT there was another scene (one i couldn't find a picture of) where she is forced to wear a spreader bar behind her neck over her shoulders and her wrists were cuffed to each end. NOW that one took my breath away. She seemed to function fine .. getting her duties accomplished in this awkward position.

So.... (can you see it coming??) i wanted to try it.......the spreader bar bit.. and maybe even a little humiliation. Sir - once again - was patient and kind and willing to satisfy my curiousity. The spreader bar was attached to each wrist - with the bar running behind my neck and over my shoulders. Then Sir handed me His coat to hang up. HUH?? That was the first obstacle. Then it was just moving around the house.. trying to get through doorways with this bar sticking out past my shoulders .. then there was trying to make a pot of coffee.. and then supper. Truthfully i didn't even make it to supper.. i landed up in a fit of giggles after the umpteenth attempt at walking through doorways without killing myself.

AND if any of you are loyal readers... you know it took many years for me to experience true humiliation....... and my reaction to it. (Can i say NEGATIVE!!??)

i have chalked both experiences up as an interesting experiment.... best left to fantasy.


i had a comment left on yesterday's blog entry..... i seemed to have ruffled some feathers..... which is.. truthfully OK. i kinda sorta knew that was going to happen. But i feel i must repeat myself............ this is my blog.. and my opinion.... i don't have to agree with you or what you do...... and you most certainly do not have to agree with me. (god life would be so damn boring if everyone agreed with everyone else!! - but enough of the Polly Anna )

This latest series of "stuff we do" is in a large part my looking back on the journey Sir and i have taken.. seeing the changes and how they came about... relishing the journey...... sort of like looking at old vacation photos.

And i know old vacation photos can be so boring ......... so please feel free to skip the next couple of days worth of blog entries........ this nostalgia should run itself out be the end of week.. i promise.


  1. grins at the spreader bar image .... I can see it in my mind and it is making me SMILE!! LOL - you never know, truly, until you try something. D. and I were discussing that last night. I think a lot of people don't think thigns through - certaintly some fantasies translate well into reality; some do not - and some just turn out to be teh WORST thing that could have happened.

    I love your perspective! You deal with realities and truly exemplify the honesty that all should strive for!

    Re; the animal play from yesterday's ... I'm with you LOl - doesn't turn my crank one little big and can't even see where the entire BDSM- part of it comes in, truth to be said - but if it turns someone else's crank then more power to them!

  2. WOuld you have reacted the same way had it been your Sir's fantasy and not yours?

  3. There are folk that find Brussel sprouts to be tasty morsels. I find the taste incredibly nasty; one of the few things I absolutely refuse to eat.

    Doesn't make me, or them, right or wrong.

  4. I totally agree with Buffalo. I used to have a bad habit of only blogging about things that i thought anothers would like,...Now i realize it's my blog and i'm going to blog about whatever i want. if they don't like it they don't need to read it.

    I say write about whatever makes YOU happy...

  5. I have enjoyed this series. I've not been available much unfortunately -- so haven't been able to join in the conversation.

    I think you are drawing clear lines between the sort of BDSM practice that becomes a "lifestyle," and the sort of play that is destined to remain forever "play."

    There is nothing wrong with play. It can be a joyous and enlivening thing, but it remains in the realm of make believe, fantasy, recreation.

    There are things that are fun for the space of time where we can bring them into existence. That sort of fun just doesn't get the dishes washed or the trash hauled out. For that, serious adults have to suck it up and behave like adults. There can be power play, even in those mundane activities, but there'll be very little of that that falls into the realm of fantasy or fun.

    Thanks for being willing to wade into this discussion --and for being willing to ruffle those random feathers.

    hugs, swan

  6. Obskura12:40 pm

    I remember going to see that movie. It was the day I met Sir and yourself, if I remember correctly.


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