a delicate bloom

The year that Sir and i were first together.... He arrived with a hibiscus tree for me.. in full bloom. i had never actually seen a hibiscus tree before and fell madly in love. i put it outside in the summer and brought it in in the winter......... and it died. He brought me another hibiscus tree the next spring and it bloomed and was gorgeous and i even googled how to care for it (not trusting the little plastic stake of information plopped in the pot) i brought it in in the winter and tried putting it upstairs (instead of in the living room window with lots of water and fertilizer) and it still died. The next year Sir did not bring me a hibiscus tree. Last year Sir brought me a hibiscus tree......... this time forget the plastic stake.. forget the internet.. i had asked Cloud who had a hibiscus tree that had lived for years and years what he did........ He said put it in the basement and forget it!! i couldn't do that!!! lock it away in the basement and forget it???!! i would compromise.... sort of... i put the tree in my office again..BUT not right in front of the window.. i watered it a little bit every time it looked limp ..... the leaves turned yellow and fell off... but one or two leaves hung on ... and by spring time i actually had about 6 green leaves on the tree.. i had hope..

It went outside as soon as it was warm enough...... and i fertilized it and watered it and pampered it.. and 2 of the green leaves turned yellow and fell off... i was despairing of ever having a hibiscus tree.......... days turned into weeks and new leaves started to appear.... then one morning i noticed.... a bud.. a wee tiny bud buried in amongst the leaves......i took a picture.... i was excited.. this time i had managed to not kill the hibiscus tree...


Every day i checked the hibiscus for new buds... i had to hunt now in the leaves for any sign of buds....... the tree was filling out !! i started a photo journal of this tiny wee bud....... each day taking another picture watching the changes the growth the beauty.........






i honestly can't explain why it became so important to nurse this one lil bud to bloom...... but it was.......... this lil tree and i had survived a winter together........ done more than survive we had beaten it !!! and the bud was the proof..........

When i arrived home yesterday ........ after locking up for the summer....... i went and checked 'the bud' ..........




it made it.. it really made it !!! This delicate lil bloom will only last 24 hours.. by this afternoon it will be gone. BUT it doesn't matter........ it is a lesson for me on how fleeting the beauty of the moment can be........ how delicate life can be........ how important it is to treasure each moment.........

and yes there will be more delicate flowers (i have counted 4 more buds) but it is this one that counts !! the first bloom of the summer.............

Happy Dance

At exactly 12 noon today i shut my computer off.. locked the cabinets.. closed the windows and blinds.. pushed my chair in and closed the office door. i walked sedately and calmly to my car... i drove home in a sedately manner - abiding all the speed limits (for once !!) .. i walked up my path and unlocked my front door......... i said hello to the cats......... and then

i did the dance of joy around the house........... no more school.. no more books.. no more schedules or deadlines, no more morning alarms...........

see me do the happy dance.... summer has arrived!!!!

Adults only

Ok i really don't want to write about how hot it is here .. still hot that is.. still in the 100 degree range with the humidex factored in... don't want any one thinking that that is all that occupies my mind right now.......

ok.. so how bout i draw you all a picture with words... (i am not trusting a google search today!!)






Her face glistened with perspiration........ her hair matted against her head .. two tendrils had escaped and were curled against her cheek..... she pulled the tshirt over her head and threw it in the cupboard...... she slipped out of her shorts and tossed them ... she stood straight and looked at herself naked in the mirror............. she ran her hand over her breasts and down her belly ...... all the way down... feeling the perspiration everywhere.. she was dripping......... she turned and as she walked out of the room she exclaimed...............






"MY GOD IT IS HOT......... 100 DEGREES IN THE SHADE!!" and she marched into the shower to cool off............





(ok ok.. so i can't think about anything but the heat !!! )


However i did take a quiz that seems to be doing the rounds of blogs........ and guess what??? my blog is rated............ HOT HOT HOT!!!

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• sex (18x)
• orgasm (4x)
• ass (3x)
• cum (2x)
• knife (1x)

Oh and for those of you who do read my "stories"... Part 3 of the House Slave... should be ready by this weekend (which is .. for those of you who have forgotten.. the first of the month)

HOT HOT HOT!

ok.. honest.. i really do hate to bitch all the time about summer heat...... but let's be honest here.. today it was 34 degrees (88 degrees) BUT with the humidex it was 43 degrees OR 110 degrees!!! i watched the thermometer climb higher and higher in my little tiny office.... i had the fan going .. the florescent lights off... the blinds closed and i was melting!! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to concentrate when your brain is mush????

i had songs going round and round in my head.. "hot town summer in the city" was the main one.. and so i thought ok right i will do a blog about all the hot summer songs...and i will start off with a very nice picture of a hot summer day... so i googled "hot summer" and i got ........... THIS.........WAIT.. don't hit that link unless you are ready to be really grossed out........... horse sex??? !!! excuse me!!!!

Honestly i think i am just a bit naive... people actually DO that !!! with animals.. or in this case HORSES??? and i thought my brain was fried from this heat?!

Somehow the whole subject just put me off writing anything nice about summer heat....

Anyway....... to redeem itself .. i gave google another chance for a picture of a nice hot summer day and came up with this.........

3 more days and the summer's MINE!!!

The Sex Diaries..

Well now that i have your attention.. don't people take sex seriously?? i mean.. shouldn't sex be fun?? shouldn't sex make you laugh and giggle (ok ok so maybe real men don't giggle) but still shouldn't it make you smile at least ??? If you think about the act. the actual act.. it is rather ludicrous isn't it??

BUT the end result.. if indeed everyone manages to get there..... is just so glorious!!!

ok ok.. i promised sex diaries.. and sex diaries you shall have...

i was (because of circumstances this past weekend) thinking a lot about sex .. intercourse... fucking.. fun.. i remembered a time when my best friend was my vibrator (ok ok some days it still is !!! but only with permission now!) and i remember my eldest daughter confiding in me that sex hurt.. sex was scary..in short sex wasn't fun. i had a "mother daughter talk" with her.. not your usual mother daughter talk .. but something more along the lines of .. "you do NOT need a male to have sex".. had a good long talk that i finished by purchasing the book "Our bodies Ourselves" or how to have an orgasm without a male - or some such educational reading........... sadly she never talked to me about sex again.......

Truthfully - it took me a few years to find the humour in sex.. but i did find it.. i have a good friend to thank for that.. she completely and totally took the seriousness of sex out of the equation for me.. She walked into the bedroom one day (a bedroom.. and yes a bed .. we were sharing ) with a strap on dildo.......
i was amazed.. i was shocked.. i was fascinated.. i had never seen one before.. and she was very adept at using it........... she then suggested that we switch roles.... she peeled the harness off and handed it to me.. with dildo hanging limp - pretty much like a wet noodle...... i high tailed it off to the bathroom to clean it up and strap it on.. how difficult could this be right??? Well it wasn't .. until i started to walk into the bedroom with this "thing" bobbing up and down between my legs....... it started off with a muffled giggle.. and grew to a full out belly laugh......... apparently the look on my face was something to behold.. somewhere between shock amazement and a WTF?! Needless to say the strap on came off right quick and i have never tried to use one since..

Now i am known as being able to sleep through just about anything....... one night Sir woke me from a sound sleep.. flopped me over on my belly ..and (how shall i put this politely) fucked my brains out. i came and came and came . leaving a huge puddle in the bed (you must know the old joke about women's lib is when the woman sleeps in the puddle??) Sir then patted my ass and sent me back to sleep - feeling i am sure - pretty proud of Himself ........ and the "satisfied"subbie snoring beside Him.......

That is until later the next day when i was whining about missing sex.. whining how He didn't use me sexually that weekend... Sir stopped dead in His tracks .. looked at me like i was talking some foreign language ..and asked incredulously "YOU DON'T REMEMBER??!!"
Once poor Sir had virtually drawn me a picture of the evenings gymnastics it did come back.. but i thought i had dreamed it!! Trust me when i say... every time Sir wishes to humiliate me at a group function.. He only has to mention the night "i slept through it"..

And all of this brings us to this weekend......... i can't say i was feeling too horny..... just kinda lazy..just kinda burned out.. just kinda disinterested.. At one point Sir had his hand up tickling my pink private bits and i was sighing.. saying i just wasn't interested when i heard the all too familiar slurp slurp sounds... Sir decided to play the game 'bring subbie to orgasm .. stop .. repeat as needed until subbie is ready to scream' ...

By evening Sir decided in his infinite wisdom that it was time to give me the long awaited orgasm........... i was sitting in my chair.. and after a little flogging of the private pink bits.. Sir proceeded to ..... THE ACT...... and for some reason that totally and completely escapes me.. i found it humorous to watch. It started off as a giggle and worked up to a full belly laugh.. i dared Him .. double dared Him.. "can't make me cum" i said.. Ever known a Dom/Master NOT to take up a dare??

Only problem.. the giggling got worse every time Sir tried.. i knew something He didn't!! i have never ever been able to cum sitting up.. i even have trouble cumming standing........ Finally poor Sir gave up....... slumped down on the sofa defeated..

That is... until He came to bed...... i was dead to the world.. dreaming sweet dreams of summer ........ when i felt His hands forcibily flip me over on to my back....... forcibily enter me.. He was gonna have an orgasm from me.. or die trying.......... It didn't take long.......... and i got to sleep in the puddle again.............

This time...... though........ i remember !!!

fairies..

This isn't much of a blog entry......... but i had to share my latest additions to fairy world..........


this sweet new addition was given to me by my staff at lunch last week........





and this one was given to me today by an older woman who works for me... she said she saw it and couldn't resist giving it to me...... i feel very.. honoured?? special?? touched??? all my fairies are special.. but the ones that come unexpectedly into my life find a very special spot in my heart...

You know they say that Midsummer's Eve is the most likely time of year to see a real fairy....... i will have to keep my eyes open...........anyone know .. for sure!!.. when Midsummer's Eve is this year???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and because it has been awhile.. i have posted some bondage pictures to my photojournal.... enjoy.......

like a tapestry

It seems to me .. the best way to describe our weekend (so far) is that it has been like a tapestry...individual blocks of activity and colour and senses.

i really am running on my last piston of energy....... my body and mind feels heavy and slow to respond. For heaven's sakes i napped - napped !!! - for an hour yesterday afternoon!!

But in the morning i had weeded and watered all the flower beds - front and back.. and cut back some weird hodge podge hedge that the former owner put in.... that had grown over my 5'6" height.. and made it impossible to see my front path or doorway. i had done all the laundry (well except for the ironing which is to be done today ) and made the meals and just tried to BE whatever it is i am supposed to be.

When i sat down with Sir after lunch... He made mention of the comment He left on Friday’s blog ... now honestly!!! i was supposed to take THAT seriously???? apparently i was ! so i went and took out a couple of packages of clips and applied them liberally to my private pink bits.. grudgingly.. There is something about inflicting pain on myself when Sir is here ........ i want to feel His hands doing the pain not mine....... but .. well Sir was busy snapping pictures.. with his brand spanking new.................... camera!!

(i was warned i could write a blog.. i could look at the pictures ...i could even save ONE picture for the blog.. but all the rest were to be left for Sir.. for his blog.........) and i know HE will be posting sometime soon.. cause with the new camera... He can take the most intimate embarrassing shots with total perfection - much better than with the old camera.. woe's me!!

After the clips had been removed and more pictures taken of the marks left ... Sir picked up the small flogger - i have renamed the "pussy flogger" - and proceeded to work over my thighs, pussy and breasts. At one point i suggested (i get the weirdest ideas/cravings sometimes) that a cup of coffee would be really nice!! Sir hit me a couple more times then decreed coffee was an excellent idea! Guess what Sir did with the flogger!!! He clipped it to my clit jewelry!! and as He did so.. He said.. "I'll just bookmark my place and we'll get back to it later!!" Now i am a bookmark???!!!!


And then Saturday evening while i was snuggled up on the recliner all comfy and cozy and watching TV... Sir went and got one of His oriental knives - a gift from our dear friend drakor.......

Sir had that gleam in His eye... gleam i say !!! my lil sun dress was unbuttoned one button at a time as Sir ran the edge of the knife over my breasts.. each time He wanted to go further "afield" shall we say - another button was undone.. i was holding my breath. Now i KNOW Sir would never ever deliberately cut me.. actually cut me.. but there are times where i fear just taking a breath will alter the pressure and blood will spurt..



Then the point of the blade slid between my legs.. toying with my pink private bits.. clanging against the jewelry..despite the fear and despite the horror in my mind.... i fantasized what it would feel like sliding into me........ (ok ok colour me sick and preverted!!! BUT it was just a fantasy)

After Sir tired of listening to my yelps.. He had me stand with my back to Him as He ran the blade up and down my back and ass and legs... there is a spot .. a sensitive spot just at the base of my spine.. caress that spot and my legs go to jelly and i will do just about anything......... it is definitely my weak spot !! The point of the knife more than once carassed that spot.

After that i was sent to bed....... a weak limp bag of bones........ to sleep perhaps to dream of sugar plum fairies doing a sword dance??

quick friday morning thought..

i was reading some long over due reads (blogs) this morning with my morning coffee when i saw a definite theme... and i don't know.. maybe it was the lack of sleep.. lack of coffee.. or total bratty submissive me coming out.......

BUT WTF??!!

i have read over and over how lucky this sub is .. or that sub is.. to be in service to their Masters.. to be used and abused by them.. and yes i have said the very same things.........

BUT

what about these Masters?? do they EVER think how lucky they are to have a submissive ready willing and able to spread their legs (or other parts) on demand?? How lucky they are to have a submissive cooking cleaning doing laundry for them - and in some cases raising the children too???

HUH?? do they ???

ok.. going for more coffee and hopefully in the bottom of the next cup will be a large dose of appropriate submissive thinking......

Take a stroll with me

This is a form of "Home Corners".. except it isn't my home. i took my staff out for lunch today to celebrate a successful year (ok ok i am 12 days early .. but hey!! who knows if i will still be upright by the 29th!!) to my favourite restaurant.. on my favourite street.. in my favourite little town...........

So come stroll with me .. in the bright June sunshine................



This is "main street" filled with restaurants.. bistros and antique shops....... this lil street is dead as a door nail in the winter.. but comes alive with the first signs of warm sunshine...........



This is the old movie house.......... where you used to be able to see a second run movie for a buck......... then for a short time it was a club... then a short run as a live theatre.. now it sits empty.. full of memories and cobwebs...........



The red awning is Cunningham's Pub..... owned and operated by a couple of our friends ......... they make good old fashioned meals.. and probably the best steak and kidney pie since my mom made it....... and it was where our celebration luncheon was held....




This glorious view is just across the street from Cunningham's.. there is a pathway along the water's edge that is filled on hot summer evenings with people strolling along licking ice cream cones.. or others sitting on the bistro patios sipping cool summer drinks.. ...

the boats dock along the side and their crews spill over onto the "boardwalk" and join the summer throngs...........

This is just part of what makes my summers special.........

sunday night needling

Sir sent me pictures of the needling session on Sunday night........ and there is no way in hell i am gonna post those pictures .. they show just a little more of my anatomy than i am comfortable posting ( ughhhhhhhhh way toooooo much!!)

However.. i can tell you all.. it was an amazing session.. as the expression goes.. it hurt so good !! i was waiting for the usual knife play - once all the needles were in.. i was waiting for the sensation play that usually happens - once all the needles were in.. i was waiting............... Sir went back to watching tv and i lay there basking in the glow that always comes from having my ass full of needles... day dreaming......

Then Sir came down to my level and i felt his hands running around the needles .. flicking them every once in a bit to make sure i was focused on HIM...

Then...........

Sir slid his hand between my legs.. slid his fingers into me... my mind did a WTF?? but it didn't take long to get me on the same page as Sir... only thing was.. when i was right on the edge.. ready to slide over and ride the wave all the way to nirvana.. the needles started to wiggle and wobble - talk about a bucket of cold water.. i wimpered.. "i can't cum .. the needles.. the needles!!" (like that was gonna stop Sir !) He kept on tickling the secret spot deep inside me.. relentless.. i was gonna cum with the needles wiggling and wobbling!!!

And i did.

Which just goes to show.. Sir gets what He wants.. every time!

As it should be.

odd ball - pity party

i wonder sometimes why memories that have long since been regulated to the back shelf sneak back to haunt you........
for some really stupid reason this weekend.. i was feeling all the angst of growing up again.. the awkward - don't fit in - not good enough feelings......... skeletons in my closet i call them......

i was always the kid who didn't quite fit in.. not in the family.. not in school.. some days it felt like i didn't quite fit in in any way .. shape or form.. i learned to compensate for that by being the best well behaved toddler...



i worked really hard at school to get the marks - to not cause problems.. no teenage rebellion here..
and what i heard all the time was.. "you will be pretty when.....................

when you get rid of those braces..


when you lose some weight..

when your hair grows...
only problem was.. i never quite got it all together at the same time.. on the same day.. there were no shrieks of EUREKA you made it....... you are pretty enough now.. smart enough now.. good enough now............

i just managed to make it through to adult hood just not really caring enough if i was good enough 'now'........... except every once in a while.. when i will look in a mirror (something i seldom if ever do) and i see the person looking back at me... who the hell is SHE??

this weekend i looked in a mirror .. i saw wrinkles and grey limp hair and a body that is so far from perfect that it probably can't even begin to find the way to semi perfect!

i saw a tired old lady ........ and it made me sad.......... i didn't ever get that chance to be "pretty" and i had a pity party .. a great big pity party....... and poor Sir didn't know what happened to his cheeky fun loving sub......... well some days it just doesn't work... too many old memories ............ and the worst memory of all .. "it is all my fault - i can be anything i want to be" (except for a tiny petite 5' nothing 90 lbs soaking wet member of the family)
maybe the milk man brought me...........

fantasies..

This morning .. when i really should have been heading to the shower to get ready for work.. i went - instead - to the Heron Clan to read the news... (i had had such a chuckle over Raheretic's post yesterday about hearing the voice of "God") that i thought a repeat of the same post might start my day off with a chuckle and a bright spot. However imagine my surprise when i saw that swan had posted.. and she had posted about a fantasy she had shared and how it didn't turn out quite the way she imagined..

and so i thought i would say a word or two about fantasies this morning..........somehow fantasies never quite turn out the way one expects.. take me for example.. this morning with this brilliant idea for a post on fantasy i googled the word to find an appropriate picture to start with.. what did i find when i goggled "fantasy" a mess of naked women in varying degrees of sex .... that may be someone else's fantasy but it sure as the devil is not mine !!!

And therein lies the whole problem with fantasies.. what i see in my mind is not what anyone else sees or imagines or feels.... how simple was that?? i was going to go into this long diatribe about how fantasies do not translate to reality .. and why.. and google did it simply and efficiently.

i guess it is a wee bit like looking at a modern art picture....... i will see and experience one thing from it and the person standing right next to me will see something completely and totally different.. oh it will include the same shades of colour and maybe even the same result.. but the direction to get to the result will be totally and completely different.


Fantasies.......... whatever are we to do with them?

Memories..

i should be cleaning the house....... i should be oiling the wood furniture and mopping the floors and scrubbing the bathroom........ but my mind is preoccupied tonight. It was a really rough day at work....... i found myself close to tears more than once today.... i was told i take things too personally.. and i admit i do.. i know that in my head.. i just can't get the reality to move to my heart......

It is days like this that make me wish i could come home... kneel at Sir's feet.. feel the sting of the whip.. lose myself in the prick of needles... escape even for a little while.... but i can't.. not for now.. and so i should be cleaning the house.... putting the stress and energy there.......... but i find myself thinking about pain.. the joy of the pain... and in doing so i remembered something Sir did to me this weekend.. something He hadn't done in a long long time...

He used THE wheel - the ouchy painful wheel - the Wartenberg wheel. He ran it up and down my back.. finding those little spots that make me shiver, make me moan. Then He ran the wheel up and down my breasts.. over my nipples... making me shiver and making me moan louder.

Delicious pain............ remembering it warms my soul.... makes the bad day a little better..




~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For anyone interested .. i have posted some pictures to my photo journal........ enjoy !!

weekend up date

or maybe i should have called it .. the weekend continued...

Sir decided yesterday afternoon it was time for a good session ..... a downstairs session... a multiple toy session. i wasn't so sure it was such a great idea... don't ask me why.. i really don't know.. Sir said downstairs and i went GULP.

It wasn't one of the those more formal sessions where i enter the play room and strip and wait submissively for Sir to put on the cuffs and hang me from some apparatus .. no it was much more casual than that.. i was remembering .. and reminding Sir.. how once upon a time He had told me i didn't need to act like a lamb being lead to the slaughter each time we went to the play room. So yes there was a certain amount of laughter and my being "difficult" - no lamb to the slaughter yesterday.

Sir got into the mood .. and decided that He was going to put me in a position that didn't allow for much wiggle room... He decided tip toes was a good starting position.. so instead of clipping the cuffs half way to the ceiling He clipped them AT the ceiling.



To facilitate the clipping Sir used this heavy wooden stool to stand on...... and as it conveniently has O rings in the sides He then proceeded to clip my ankles to the stool.... now i was stretched from ceiling to floor... no choice.. unless i wanted to lift the wooden stool - and trust me i tried.. but discovered to my horror that the sharp wooden corners tended to bang into my ankle bones... and add some very non-consensual pain.



The final crowning touch were these chip bag close thingies that Sir proceeded .. much to my horror.. and despite much pleading.. wailing and weeping.. to clip to my breasts... those clips did much to keep me still and focused on what He was doing!!!



And then He proceeded to beat my ass.. my thighs.. my shoulders/back.. pussy and breasts with whips and floggers and canes - oh my !!! Sir has always had code words/phrases/questions He asks during a session to gage just where my brain is....... He will ask "who loves you?" and i will answer " my Sir loves me".. and then later on He will ask "how do you know I love you" and my answer is " because my Sir beats me".. well yesterday the litany didn't go quite that way.... but as Sir wrote about it in His blog.. i will let you all read the ending there..

It was a wonderful session.. honestly wonderful........... until Sir decided it was time to take me down........ the tears came.. and flowed freely........ no orgasm... again no orgasm... and i was devastated.. i kept trying to rationalize it.. through fairy fogged thinking... to no avail....... i felt cheated somehow..... my pussy was absolutely throbbing..... and of course dripping..... and i couldn't believe that Sir would call it quits .. just like that.. and the really funny thing.. i felt humiliated.. i wanted to ask Him for an orgasm.. just one.. but i couldn't get my mouth to work.. i felt humiliated and so more tears...

When we got upstairs.. and i was still weeping pathetically.. Sir told me to go and fetch some lotion for Him to apply to my welted ass. Eventually i did find my way upstairs and brought back the lotion...

Folks... there is nothing .. in my opinion.. nothing... as sensual as Sir applying lotion to my burning ass. i was kneeling over the sofa.. ass up in the air.. moaning from the touch of his hand.. from the coolness of the lotion being kneaded into the welts.. His hand sliding over my ass.. between the crack.. down across my pussy lips... if i had thought the ache was bad before.. it was much worse now...

i was absolutely wanton in my moaning and wiggling.. and responses to Sir's hand .. pressure on private pink bits... i thought i would go out of my mind with desire and need.......... then Sir slipped his fingers into me.. spreading me wider than usual and proceeded to bring me to orgasm....... and oh what an orgasm it was!! It started somewhere deep inside my belly and radiated outwards like an ocean wave breaking over the rocks and spreading..........

It WAS an amazing afternoon !!!!

The psychology of BDSM...

i have tried and tried to write about the processes that i have gone through in the last month over the fictional journey entry for June..... i have written and edited.. erased and started again so many times that i have totally lost the train of thought i had......it was so clear before.. honest it was..........

But the words won't flow....... not properly... i hear my mom whispering in my ear "me thinks she protests too much"...... and so for today.. i will not rationalize the writing of the story.. i will also not allow anyone to manipulate the story.. either to push my buttons to get me to continue it...... or to push the direction of the story ..........

Funny thing is.... i am still adjusting to the writing of that story.. of the writing of something so foreign to my nature....... i am not sure folks if there is a sequel in me.. for now.. it is what it is.. a task set down by Sir.. a task completed.... nothing more .. nothing less.

writing.....

i rarely if ever write about something i don' t know ...... first rule of writing dontcha know.. "write about things you know".........

if i look at the list of topics of things i HAVE written about .. i would be led to believe i don't know a whole lot about a whole lot of different things........ but then i excuse the obvious lack of different topics on the whole purpose of this particular blog.. and that was (originally) to trace the development / journey of my life as a submissive.......... it wasn't originally supposed to talk about my many other lives... but over time they have become pretty much entwined.......

Despite all the teaching about writing.. that i have endured ...over the many years i personally sat on the student side of the classroom......... this month i attempted to write an entry for the Fictional Journey on a subject i have little or no interest in.. and that is on being a Domme. It all started off as a dare - so to speak - by our friend drakor ....... who had been bemoaning the lack of imaginative female Dommes. he and i - often times - will toss around ludicrous ideas of what Doms should and shouldn't do. He will send me links of some pretty extreme BDSM ... and some not so extreme.. we will plot and plan and laugh together.. (of course it helps that he is a switch and does sometimes Dom ) but me.. well i am quite happy (thank you very much) just being who and what i am.. a submissive.

BUT i did pick up the dare to write an "evil Domme" story this month.. Sir rathered like the idea....... and as i have been running a bit dry on "story starters".. i decided to give it a go... i think i mentioned in another blog entry .. that i surprised myself with the humiliation scene i wrote.. and because of it not another word would flow from my warped lil mind. The story was sent to Sir to be edited and approved or denied.. Sir gave the thumbs up and quietly explained to me that just because i can't (for the life of me) hurt another living being doesn't mean an "evil" Domme wouldn't......

Well i finished off the "chapter" and left my characters neatly hanging...... and more importantly left the story to be published on June 1st as per my schedule. Not another word has been written since ........ the evil part of me that wrote those first 13,000 words or so has disappeared.. i have no idea if the story will ever be finished............ but i have posted "chapter one" ...........

If you wish to check it out .. the link to the Fictional Journey is on the right ....