The Sex Diaries..

Well now that i have your attention.. don't people take sex seriously?? i mean.. shouldn't sex be fun?? shouldn't sex make you laugh and giggle (ok ok so maybe real men don't giggle) but still shouldn't it make you smile at least ??? If you think about the act. the actual act.. it is rather ludicrous isn't it??

BUT the end result.. if indeed everyone manages to get there..... is just so glorious!!!

ok ok.. i promised sex diaries.. and sex diaries you shall have...

i was (because of circumstances this past weekend) thinking a lot about sex .. intercourse... fucking.. fun.. i remembered a time when my best friend was my vibrator (ok ok some days it still is !!! but only with permission now!) and i remember my eldest daughter confiding in me that sex hurt.. sex was scary..in short sex wasn't fun. i had a "mother daughter talk" with her.. not your usual mother daughter talk .. but something more along the lines of .. "you do NOT need a male to have sex".. had a good long talk that i finished by purchasing the book "Our bodies Ourselves" or how to have an orgasm without a male - or some such educational reading........... sadly she never talked to me about sex again.......

Truthfully - it took me a few years to find the humour in sex.. but i did find it.. i have a good friend to thank for that.. she completely and totally took the seriousness of sex out of the equation for me.. She walked into the bedroom one day (a bedroom.. and yes a bed .. we were sharing ) with a strap on dildo.......
i was amazed.. i was shocked.. i was fascinated.. i had never seen one before.. and she was very adept at using it........... she then suggested that we switch roles.... she peeled the harness off and handed it to me.. with dildo hanging limp - pretty much like a wet noodle...... i high tailed it off to the bathroom to clean it up and strap it on.. how difficult could this be right??? Well it wasn't .. until i started to walk into the bedroom with this "thing" bobbing up and down between my legs....... it started off with a muffled giggle.. and grew to a full out belly laugh......... apparently the look on my face was something to behold.. somewhere between shock amazement and a WTF?! Needless to say the strap on came off right quick and i have never tried to use one since..

Now i am known as being able to sleep through just about anything....... one night Sir woke me from a sound sleep.. flopped me over on my belly ..and (how shall i put this politely) fucked my brains out. i came and came and came . leaving a huge puddle in the bed (you must know the old joke about women's lib is when the woman sleeps in the puddle??) Sir then patted my ass and sent me back to sleep - feeling i am sure - pretty proud of Himself ........ and the "satisfied"subbie snoring beside Him.......

That is until later the next day when i was whining about missing sex.. whining how He didn't use me sexually that weekend... Sir stopped dead in His tracks .. looked at me like i was talking some foreign language ..and asked incredulously "YOU DON'T REMEMBER??!!"
Once poor Sir had virtually drawn me a picture of the evenings gymnastics it did come back.. but i thought i had dreamed it!! Trust me when i say... every time Sir wishes to humiliate me at a group function.. He only has to mention the night "i slept through it"..

And all of this brings us to this weekend......... i can't say i was feeling too horny..... just kinda lazy..just kinda burned out.. just kinda disinterested.. At one point Sir had his hand up tickling my pink private bits and i was sighing.. saying i just wasn't interested when i heard the all too familiar slurp slurp sounds... Sir decided to play the game 'bring subbie to orgasm .. stop .. repeat as needed until subbie is ready to scream' ...

By evening Sir decided in his infinite wisdom that it was time to give me the long awaited orgasm........... i was sitting in my chair.. and after a little flogging of the private pink bits.. Sir proceeded to ..... THE ACT...... and for some reason that totally and completely escapes me.. i found it humorous to watch. It started off as a giggle and worked up to a full belly laugh.. i dared Him .. double dared Him.. "can't make me cum" i said.. Ever known a Dom/Master NOT to take up a dare??

Only problem.. the giggling got worse every time Sir tried.. i knew something He didn't!! i have never ever been able to cum sitting up.. i even have trouble cumming standing........ Finally poor Sir gave up....... slumped down on the sofa defeated..

That is... until He came to bed...... i was dead to the world.. dreaming sweet dreams of summer ........ when i felt His hands forcibily flip me over on to my back....... forcibily enter me.. He was gonna have an orgasm from me.. or die trying.......... It didn't take long.......... and i got to sleep in the puddle again.............

This time...... though........ i remember !!!