Wednesday, November 15, 2006

calling all strong women.........

i was reading a blog that asked the question..

how does a submissive go from this.............

to this...............

and as much as i came up with a fast glib answer - the question has had me thinking this week..............

because ....... you see......... one of the toughest things i have to do in a week is change my mind set from "boss" to "submissive". Sometimes when i get home on a friday afternoon i am tired and exasperated and find it very difficult to bite my tongue and curb my needs / temper when i walk through the door. It is like the submissive me is hiding and just doesn't want to come out.......... i want an easy transition..... i want it to happen in the car driving home.. i want to be naked on my knees when i enter the house (which is NOT possible so don't go there!!)

i can't be the only submissive who lives in the "real" world - the vanilla world - and has to make the transition........... what helps you ?? Is it something YOU do?? or something your Dominant does .. that helps you make the transition.........

Friday is two days away.......... can i say HELP?!!!


  1. i wish i had any ideas. we could both use them!
    It is quite difficult to switch gears, especially if it needs to happen quick.


  2. Anonymous1:30 pm

    i really wish i knew .... and it seems like the harder life is getting in the vanilla world the harder is is to switch gears.


  3. For all of us who have to live life in both worlds I think this is a dilemma. Sometimes, it is a relief to drop into the safety of the weekend when I can let all of the responsibilities go and simply be His...

    But, I am the one who usually has to find my way there. He just assumes that I will be there when He requires it. He is not into getting His slave to BE slavish. So making that transition is my job. Sometimes it is a matter of gritting the teeth and trying to remember which part of my life is "real." As always, the question becomes do I work to live or live to work? It isn't easy. It is life. It is real.

    Hugs, swan

  4. Damnit i posted and blogspot the piece of shit lost it. ANYWAY. What i said was that i just force myself. i don't give myself an option. Then it becomes more and more natural. I think this is common for all kinds of learnt behaviours, the more you force yourself to do them the more they work. i grit my teeth as your other commenter said, push out the thoughts of the man at work who irritated me by not getting his work done, remind myself of what i want from my relationship, try to absolutely dissociate all thoughts of my Master from my work, and simply do what He asks me straight away. i allow myself to exist in both those places almost simultaneously and i force myself into the submissive box because i know that if i take time to get into it, i will start making excuses and i will be unhappy and i will have noone to blame but myself. i agree, it's harder when things are hard at work and in the vanilla world, but those are the moments that try us, and if we come through them then we are strong!! That's what it's all about. UGH this second explanation is much worse than the first. Anyway, i'm a new reader to your blog and thank you, it's a lovely read. Take care.

  5. i want to thank each of you for taking a minute to post your thoughts.. i honestly didn't believe i was gonna find any magic solution to the problem... sometimes (sometimes i say !!!) i envy those that stay home and never have to change hats so to speak !!

    milla welcome to my blog.. and i am sorry blogspot played you around..

    swan - it is good to see a post from you - considering the times you are going through right now...

  6. Anonymous12:06 pm

    i'm a little late in getting to responding, but this is a topic that Master and i spent quite a bit of time talking about during his recent trip.

    monday through thursday, he has the expectation and understanding that i work and i will be going to class and doing my volunteering responsibilities, and that come friday after work, i'm his slut for whatever he wants me for.

    i find that there is resistence at first. i have a hard time accepting my role. and in the end, i grit my teeth, close my eyes tightly, and do what i'm told. after a little time, my body finds the groove of doing what i'm supposed to be doing (ie whatever he wants) and my mind soon follows. i don't have a magic answer. i wish i did. if you find one, please, please PLEASE send it my way.

    i've enjoyed catching up on your blog. i've seen replies of yours to kaya, and i'm glad i found my way over.

    good luck and take care,
    ~ toy


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