Friday, March 30, 2018

FFF and thoughts on size







I have never been a 'small' woman ...... and never much thought about it.  BUT then a couple of serious health issues brought my weight to the foreground.  I had a doctor actually tell me that if I had less belly fat I wouldn't have as many cancer scares.  So I made up my mind to lose the extra weight -- then I made up my mind to weigh what I weighed pre-babys then I made up my mind to get down to my lowest EVER body weight (which was when I was in high school)

I bought a Fitbit -- and downloaded a food app that tracked my calories and synced with Fitbit and told me how many calories I had left to eat at the end of the day -- joy oh joy ! 

The calories LEFT at the end of the day became my goal -- to have more and more of them leftover....... cause ya know that would mean I would lose weight faster.  I would go to the gym and burn off as many calories as possible -- I would walk for hours in the afternoon burning off more calories...... and I would see the calories LEFT start to creep up from 200 calories left to 600 calories...... I was averaging between 700 and 900 calories of food intake a day.  It got serious.  Doctor serious.

Then life changed again -- and the cancer is in remission (fingers crossed) and I found Sir Steve and fell in love ......... and obsessing over calories didn't seem as necessary.  BUT over the year I have been with Sir Steve -- the weight slowly crept back up.  I had lost 70+ pounds and in one year with Sir Steve my weight had crept up just over 10 pounds.  

I fought the panic... I fought the panic of 'Sir Steve won't love me if I get really fat again'   I didn't want to admit I had packed on those 10 pounds....... my clothes still fit so I could sorta ignore it.  BUT then Fondles started her FFF group ..... and I watched how bloggers were working on getting healthy -- and posting their results on Friday.  Not being much of one for publicly humiliating myself with my weight I stayed silent. 

BUT then I decided I really didn't want to go back to 'fat' clothes -- I really do like being able to walk into any store and buying clothes I like.  I have a summer at the campgrounds coming  up and I want to wear my shorts and lil tops and feel good in them.  I have my eldest daughter's wedding coming in August and I want to look 100% better than I did at her first wedding.  

So I have gone back to my Fitbit and food app -- and working really hard to focus on the food intake rather than the calories left over.... keeping the intake between 1000 and 1200 (max!!)  ............ oh yeah and one more step I have taken -- I have moved the scales here to Sir Steve's ..... one of the best ways I have to keep myself honest.... weight myself 2 or 3 times a week - sometimes every day (cause I obsess like that) 

And this week I am actually down one more pound!! Ideally I would like to be down 10 pounds by June -- but realistically I will settle for 10 pounds by daughter's wedding in August.  

Here's to the FFF group and finding my inspiration again.............. 

6 comments:

Sir Steve said...

And you have me cheering and helping you when and where I can. Love you so very much.

an English Rose said...

aw, bless him.....

Lea said...

Thank you for being so open about this. It can be so hard. I'm glad this time around you are working toward eating a healthy amount of calories vs having more and more leftover, that's a dangerous territory.

10 lbs by June or August sounds like a healthy acheivable goal.

We all struggle. On Wednesday my sports group videotaped us so we could see ourselves and make adjustments. All I could see was my horrible body. I'll get over it. Little by little!

Roz said...

Thank you for sharing this with us, good on you, we are all cheering for you. As Lea said, it's great you are focusing on calories intake rather than left over calories.

Hugs
Roz

Fondles said...

Again, you're welcome. And it's great that you've decided to join us! No humiliation here, don't worry. We're all trying the best we can. and what's ENOUGH is exactly what WE say is enough. it's all meant to be a group for support - no one is allowed to judge and if anyone does I'll sock it to them! LOL. Good going on keeping the calories to 1000-1200. i try to do that too, but sometimes it's just hard (like tonight - 2 kinds of easter chocolate cake!)

Lindy Thomas said...


Cheering you on from down under. We both have the same goals as my daughter is getting married also in October. Nice hearing Sir Steve saying he is helping you.
Good luck we can all do this together. We're here to help not ridicule you so don't feel ashamed at any point.
Hugs Lindy xx

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