Thursday, April 06, 2017
Yesterday I posted a note Sir Steve left on my facebook wall for me. I wanted to give everyone time to read it before I wrote a more detailed piece.... so if you haven't read it yet.. go HERE and read it for goodness sakes! (grinning)
When I read it I smiled and got this warm feeling inside. When he finds something that speaks to him of our love he always shares it with me on Facebook ... a private declaration of his love made public.
There is not one thing on that list that Sir Steve doesn't do...(well except for rub my back when I get home from work - but then he would need really long arms to do that right now) but my side needs a little work. I am much more likely not to talk when something bothers me or upsets me. In the past it has just been easier ya know. But as Sir Steve is always reminding me - he isn't the men from my past. And gently wraps his arms around me and pulls me in tight and whispers in my ear -- reassuring encouraging words - getting me to slowly open up.
Months ago when we were just talking I typed "god I love you" then stopped and looked at the words on my screen -- and typed 'did I just say that out loud?" My heart stopped -- first it seemed too early for a declaration of love (even if I had wanted to say it 8 years ago) and secondly my past has taught me that the common response to that statement was "yeah me too" or just pretend it hadn't been said. Sir Steve didn't hesitate for a second and typed back "I love you too". Now most of our conversations start with "I love you" and end with it too. "I love you" is said when we see each other and every morning and night we are together (never mind all the spontaneous 'love you's' through the day.
But it's much more than 3 little words - we show each other our love in so many simple ways -- from my taking care of him while he recuperated from surgery -- to making his meals and coffee when we're together. He is always asking what I ate during the day and if I remembered to take my meds. AND now he is pushing me to keep up with my medical appointments -- even IF I resist.
I don't know if he notices (though I would bet he does cause he notices EVERYTHING!) but I smile every time he walks in a room -- or leaves a room. I watch him intently and my heart beats a little quicker and I think I must have done something right to have such a man in my life.
He handles my anxiety like a pro - and it never seems to be too much -- never seems to throw him or upset him. He accepts it as part of who I am and knows it can only get better with time.
I know this all sounds sappy to some of you (most of you?) and I can hear everyone thinking "it's just the honeymoon stage - wait "
BUT it is all so new to me -- to have a man who is not afraid to declare his love -- to work hard to hold up his end of the relationship -- to love hugs and give them and take them with no hesitation - who is showing me - teaching me - what a healthy relationship looks like, feels like, and sounds like........ and that dear readers is a very good thing!