Saturday, June 11, 2016
I had a doctor's appointment yesterday - at the request of my therapist. As you know I have been struggling with an eating disorder. I wasn't sure why she wanted me to go -- and I was kinda angry -- it made me feel like a child - like I wasn't working hard enough to stop it.
I had the blood work done -- and got the results about a week ago. They were all normal - including my blood sugar (which was one of the goals) !! That made me feel a little better
You see some days I feel like I am running as fast as I can and getting no where - it's a frightening scary feeling. But at least there is no damage being done yet.
So I got weighed in - blood pressure taken -- and the doctor came in. And we talked about what's going on .......... but he didn't do what I expected. He asked me what I knew about anorexia - and I told him 'enough' - I had worked with a couple of girls over my career who suffered from it. He asked me what my goal weight was - REALLY was. And I had to admit I really didn't know. I had thought that when I lost 55 pounds I had hit the "magic number" but the feeling hadn't lasted. He pushed a little bit -- but I told him I honestly didn't know anymore.
I told him I am smaller now than before I got pregnant with my first child some 40 years ago. That I am in the smallest dress size I have EVER been in. BUT I don't feel thin. I don't look thin.
He started ticking things off -
x my blood sugar was normal
x all my blood levels were normal
x my BMI had dropped from 33 to 25 and that was normal
x I had not been sick at all during the winter - not even a small cold
x I was working with my therapist
x I was very aware of my problem and wanted to fix it
He said I should just continue on -- and if I lost another 5 - 10 pounds it would be ok. He told me that I was doing a good job. AND he wished all of his patients would go to the gym 5 days a week and walk for an hour every afternoon (that made me smile)
So the final diagnosis - more blood work in 3 months - and another follow up appointment. I thought as I left his office - following the feeling like a child comment above - I felt like I had just been given a gold star for effort.