Thursday, February 18, 2016
On Feeling Invisible
I would think that everyone at some point or another feels invisible
I wouldn't say I feel invisible - but maybe more like I am not a whole person just body parts - not whole.......I'm an ass to whip - or a pussy to fuck - or a brain to create/work ... just bits of a body - not a whole body
And I DO understand during this transition period of my life that may be what I should expect.
But there are days that I say "damn it! I am more than my pieces - I have a heart and a soul and damn it I am worthy of more - I don't want to be a fill in piece - I want to be a whole"
I wonder if some of my decisions have led to this invisible feeling - and yeah I am not blaming anyone else - I know some of my decisions have led to this feeling.
If I look at all my pieces - all my bits -
*I am a submissive - a woman who wants to please and serve and trust and be respected
*I have recently discovered I am a "lil girl" - who wants to play and be played with and coddled and reassured
* and yes - some times I am a brat - I am devilish and distracting and wicked - but always with the heart of the lil girl - wanting needing direction
*I am a masochist who needs/wants/craves pain
BUT most of all I am a woman who wants someone who can see all those parts of me and appreciate them all and value them all.