I was sitting last night - reflecting - it has been that sort of week.
For one reason or another I have felt a lot of pain this week - in my heart - in my soul.
And then I read something on Fetlife - really an inconsequential piece - but it made me remember an online friend "Buffalo" and his writings. AND how of all the people who have come through my life he was the one who always - ALWAYS - called me on my shit. Who made me think hard about my words....... my feelings... my thoughts.
And for some reason - I realized that a lot of the pain and confusion I have had this week - is due to "growing pains". I have left the sheltered life I have been kept in for years and years..... and I have been making decisions for myself.
Right or wrong - they have been my decisions. And damn it I have had a whole lot of fun making them!
Regrets - shrug - sure I have regrets - but they won't hold me back - they'll just show me what to do or not do the next time.
Buffalo dear friend - you are still sitting on my shoulder calling me on my shit (small smile) and I hope you still come to read here occasionally and know I think of you.
Dear Morningstar, I'm glad you mention Buffalo, I deeply miss him too. The last time he spoke about himself was in December 2012 and he seemed in a bad way. Such a pity!
ReplyDeleteHe had a knack for description and his posts were always very interesting.