Thursday, April 02, 2009
More thoughts on humiliation.
Ya know what?? brace yourself... i feel a mini rant coming on.......
i wrote an entry on Monday about the humiliation play that happened at the party on Saturday night. A lot of comments/emails teased me?? joked?? about how much i loved it.
Can i say............... WRONG!!!! so very wrong.... i hated it.
Get your ass beaten.. and it leaves marks.. and everyone goes "OH WOW.. that must have hurt !!!"
Get your ego beaten.. mashed up and spit out.. no marks show and everyone says "OH WOW how much fun!!"
BUT ya know what?? the marks on the ego.. the self esteem.. they hurt bad.. maybe more than bruises on one's ass.
Know what else.. it ain't fun !!!
i have spent a good part of this week feeling out of sorts.. ugly.. slutty .. dirty... those are not fun feelings for me....... maybe for you.. but not for me !!
All those fairy tale blogs where everyone serves happily.. lapping up all the dirt .. all the pain.. all the humiliation that is dished out...... well i am here to say sometimes taking the pain is not a fairy tale at all.. sometimes doing what your Sir wants/needs/demands is damn hard.. and it hurts real bad......... BUT that is what makes it right ...........
serving when it hurts.......
serving when it is real.........
serving when it is not what you want.. when it is not fun ..