Thursday, March 20, 2008

Spankers versus BDSMers

do you and your fellow BDSMers comunicate and get on well with the spanko community, in your region, or is there still a big gap between your two communities on that side of the pond?

i really thought that this particular question would be left to the end...... i wanted some time to mull over in my head the answer..... and you all have to realize that my answer to this question is coming from my knowledge and may be so very wrong.....

i for one didn't even realize there was a community who did nothing but spank. Spank and move on .. wham bang thank you ma'am. i couldn't quite get my head around it....... and being me i started to look into it.. investigate.. not really knowing where it would lead me.........

First off i found a web site called ”Christian Domestic Discipline” and within it's pages were blogs....... i skipped the Christian bit and read the blogs..... but i couldn't find one thing of "me" in those blogs.... these women were being spanked for misdemeanors such as a late dinner, or cheeky talk back to hubbie or not providing a sparkling house and folded laundry. Eventually i stopped reading it....

In the mean time i had stumbled across a blog entitled ”My Bottom Smarts”.... "one woman's celebration of life love and spankings". i rather enjoy the Sunday Brunches - questions that were asked of her readers and i even answered a couple of them......... This morning when i checked her blog (which i do do semi-regularily) i discovered she was discussing the joys of "The spanking hour" .. imagine being spanked for an entire hour !! She even offers suggestions on how to prolong the spanking. i was reading that entry and thinking...... these people are not sadists or masochists - obviously - duh !! Because a spanking (whipping or flogging) of less than an hour tends to leave me still wanting "more please Sir"....

And that made me come to realize that the dear man who contacted me from out of town - who was written about on Yes Miss........ and who got as far as telling us when he would be in Montreal and who 2 days before he was due to arrive seems to have just gone poof in a puff of smoke....... was a spankee .........not a masochist. In our emails i must have sounded a bit dense....... continuing to ask what he liked.. when he kept answering "a good sound spanking" .... over the knee sort of spanking.. a hand spanking.. perhaps once in a while with a hair brush........ and it did seem to take me forever to realize this man was not into BDSM....... but into spanking.....

And then finally your question spankedhortic - my friend from across the ocean. And then the light bulb went off over my head and i realized .. WOW there are people out there who only do spankings!!! And yes spankedhortic i have read your blog... and have to admit to complete total lack of comprehension - you really only write about spankings - and i didn't get it !! 10 spanks with a wet noodle for me !!!

Am i naive?? am i blind?? or am i just stupid?? not to realize that there is a whole community of people who only spank and nothing more....... no bondage.. no needles .. no hot wax.. no whips and chains and floggers - oh my !!!

i have thought and thought about the many years of munches i have attended.. and all the people i have met.. i have thought and thought about the many MANY public and private play parties Sir and i have attended.. and even summer camps.. and i honestly can't say i have ever been aware of people who only spank....... (colour me shocked and surprised!)

So does that mean that the two communities.. the spanking community and the BDSM community are separated - and ne'er the two shall meet?? i honestly don't know !! and am ashamed to admit it !!! i am thinking we will have to remedy that... perhaps our munch announcements aren't too inviting for folks who are spankers versus BDSMers?? Maybe it is time to start some sort of dialogue on this side of the "pond" between the two groups..... because...... my god !! ........ there must be a spankers group over here........ and i didn't know it..... and maybe we have unintentionally snubbed a whole mess of people !!!!

Spankedhortic - i promise more work on this subject - and perhaps a follow up blog entry when i have completed the study.

and just because i haven't really written anything about "me" and life recently .. i am pleased to say the snow has finally gotten the better of the community over here.. the schools are shut for an extra long Easter weekend as the powers to be are concerned about the structural integrity of the roofs...... and we are expecting rain and snow and freezing rain today!!!

One early morning this week i managed to lock my keys, my purse, my extra set of keys, and my cell phone in my car while it was running...... the window was open a crack and i was determined to fit my arm through the crack and open the door from the inside......... The picture below does not do justice to the bruising and swelling on my arm - wrist and palm of my hand from my futile efforts - thank god for CAA who arrived and got the door open in less than 2 minutes......

Then i had another fun start to my day the other day when i was flying out of the house to my car and went ass over tea kettle on the ice in the parking lot........ leaving my entire body feeling like it has been hit by a 10 ton truck !!!

Happy First day of Spring Everyone !!!!!!!


drakor66 said...

Montreal spankers on Alt might have members that enjoy this singular fetish if you want more knowledge on them.

As for head over heels not the normal way to make snow angels . I always thought that you gently lay down on new fallen snow not try to form an image on ice through impact.

Novel though , violent but novel

Buffalo said...

And a Happy First Day of Spring to Warren and you.


Hope you recover from your injuries quickly, that much snow and ice for so long must be a real pain.

Your post blew me away, it was such a surprise that you where so unaware of us spankos and that you had never come across any in your area. The spanko community in Canada is definately alive and well, I can say this from personal knowledge and because one of the most widley read F/m spanking blogs, Spanked Hubby (, is written from Canada by a Canadian.

You will find whips and floggers in the toy boxes of spankos as well as BDSMers. We like a little variety too.

Personaly I like the fact that there is interaction in Belgium, BDSM is always going to be the "Big boy on the block" fetishwise and without the support of the BDSM community life would be very difficult in a country with as small a population as we have.

Like many spankos I have tried a few BDSMy things some where too my taste and some not but walking a mile in somebody elses shoes helps broaden the mind.


Bonnie said...

In my mind, our kinky world is not binary at all, but rather a spectrum along which each of us finds our niche. I am a dedicated spanko, it's true. But I'm also submissive and very much a masochist (who else would crave a session with a wooden paddle?). Randy and I have dabbled in bondage for years and we do indeed own whips.

There are some acts that don't interest me, but isn't that true of all of us?

I say all this not to defend the worthiness of our kink, but to make the point that we're really not so different at all. We don't "just spank," though it is the centerpiece of our play.

The post you read was a tutorial. The reader who asked the question was a relative newbie. My response was framed in that context. We all have to start somewhere. I seek to help readers to accept the kink within themselves and to play safely.

I don't know if this helps to resolve the dilemma you describe, but I hope it provides a little bit of insight.

littleone said...

Bonnie: i was probably very naive or just plain stupid (probably the later) i never thought about people who only enjoy spanking. i always assumed they were beginning in the BDSM lifestyle.. it never occurred to me that some are quite content with a nice sensual spanking ...... (yeah yeah plain stupid - that's me)

i did realize you were giving a tutorial in today's blog..... i have realized a lot of what you post is that - information.. you do a wonderful job !!! There should be more blogs like yours.... honest real people posting how to's..

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