Wednesday, September 05, 2007

pain levels..

SeaRabbit asked in the comment section of "the weekend" :
Did it ever happen to you to be much more sensitive than usual? I really wonder has I'm really experiencing a difference in my pain tolerance... I wonder if menopause could play a role in that... What do you think?

and i was going to just answer her in the comment section.. but thought it might make a good blog entry......... AND .. everyone else can add their 2 cents worth as well.. (come on now.. it won't hurt to take 2 minutes and add your thoughts on pain and how it affects us.. try it .. you might just enjoy commenting)



i know that there are times that i can take as much as Sir is handing out and then beg for more....... BUT .. there are more times that i am this whimpering whining crying mess of subbie begging for it all to stop...... white knuckling my way through a session.. cursing the Man holding the flogger.. questioning why i EVER thought i actually liked this sort of thing.

and of course being me.. i have analyzed the whys and wherefores to death.

*i have thought it was because we hadn't played in a while and my ass was tender - BUT - what about in the beginning when we didn't play much at all and i was always up for anything Sir would throw my way??

*i thought that it might be when we play publically the exhibitionist in me comes out and i want to prove how much i can take.. make Sir proud.... BUT - there are lots of times that i am crying quietly on some cross in some club.. barely able to get past the distractions around me..........

* i had come to believe that before we only had nice easy toys and now we have much more wicked ones - BUT Sir can use the old toys from before and i can still land up cringing and wimping out.....

* i have come to the conclusion there is a whole mess of influences that make or break a session.. that help or hinder my ability to process the pain and fly on top of it........

the number ONE reason is my mind set....... if i am tired or stressed ..... it is much more difficult to deal with the pain........ there are too many external influences ruling the moment... i always used to.. kind of .. sort of.. mediate prior to a session.. relax my body get rid of all the bad stresses....... i got so good at it.. that in the time it took Sir to chain me up to whatever equipment He planned to use... i would already be half way there to my quiet space........

the number TWO reason is my own body..... if it is aching from age old complaints.....and even though they tell me i have no more hormones in my body...... i still become cranky and irritable around the days that i normally had periods....... those days can make a session much more difficult to deal with.... the pain seems to radiate through the entire body.. the pain being a white fire that i want to run from .. to hide from.. and even though i have no hormones.. i still believe my body or my mind reacts in the self same way....

There is also the time of day ......... if Sir takes me downstairs to play in the middle of the day...... i am more energised and feisty and often those sessions are fun ones.. where i am cheeky and willful and we laugh and i dance the BDSM jig for Him rather than just trying my damnedest to deal with it all..

Things that help me get past the BAD pain.. despite the time of day.. or my mind set.. is when Sir spends a goodly amount of time connecting to my body with touches.. it helps me relax and feel there is something out there more than just a flogger or cane causing pain......... See when Sir touches me.. rubs against me.. or caresses me.. i feel Him and know i am not alone.. that we are doing this together.. for the pleasure of both..........

Another thing that really helps me get over the top .. and this is just me..... is if Sir pushes my legs far apart and fucks me from behind.. giving me orgasms upon orgasms in between the floggings....... my mind starts to associate the pain with sexual pleasure... or the orgasms release the much needed endorphins to get me over the top...... (pain is very much like foreplay for me... i am dripping before the second hit of with the toy of choice....... the orgasms just help me move along the chain of events much quicker)

i don't have any final - carved in stone - answer as to why sometimes it is easier to accept the pain.. to embrace the pain.......... but those are my thoughts on the subject............

What say YOU???




1 comment:

SeaRabbit said...

Hummm... I see it is not always the same for you... and thank you for replying in such generous way... but... my question was more about a change that seems to be permanent... what I could take 3 or 2 years ago quite easily is now very difficult to handle... all the time... at every time...
So, yes, I wonder if an hormonal change such as menopause could play a role in there... but hey, maybe are we all having different reactions even in those physical changes that are the same for all of us...