Fantasy versus Reality

Last weekend - over on My Bottom Smarts - Bonnie asked us to plan an imaginary spanking festival/exposition.  (You can read all the clever ideas at this link..... Spanko Brunch)

I don't always offer up submissions to Bonnie's Sunday Brunch discussions - but that one caught my imagination.  I have been thinking about it during the week.  As much as what I wrote was fiction - it was based partially on reality.  W and I have been to more than a few BDSM weekends - complete with demos and lectures .. goods for sale and play parties.

One of the activities at one of the festivals we have been to is a "slave auction".  Slave auctions have always been real good fodder for my overly active imagination.  Images of nubile naked slaves (both male and female) tethered to an auction block dance around my mind.  Heads down - shame and humiliation playing games with their heads - Masters inspecting every inch of their bodies - refusing some - bidding on others.  Being led away by the chain attached to one's collar.  OH YES...... definitely fodder for my imagination.  

BUT the reality of it is........... it's very scary - and daunting - and not so much fun.  How do I know?? Cause at one of the festivals we attend - they hold slave auctions.  (oh and they auction off Dominant's skills as well)  At the last one W and I were at - I couldn't bring myself to volunteer for the slave auction.  Hell I couldn't even volunteer for the spank-o-thon (a line of submissives bent over - asses in the air - receiving spanks from any Top feeling the need to spank) 

The reality is I am shy - and fairly insecure - and definitely not bold enough to offer myself up to some stranger.  The reality of it is you don't know the person who may bid on you and win.  The reality of it is bad things could happen.  

But it is fun to fantasize about being chained to the auction block - nearly naked - heart pounding - being led away to some cruel fate............. yup the fantasy is wonderful - the reality - not so much.

Into Every Life a little Rain must Fall

A little rain is one thing ............. torrential downpours are a completely different thing.........

I awoke yesterday to torrential rain - and severe thunder storm warnings for the day.  I do not have an umbrella because I lose them - all the time.  BUT I do have a rain coat with a hood - which is so much better than an umbrella. I got tired of fighting with umbrellas - trying to open them outside the front door without getting wet.. trying to close them up when I got in the car without scratching the paint - or getting wet.  I got tired of trying to hold on to the damn thing and my book bag and my coffee and everything else I carry between house and car.  I got tired of trying to keep them from blowing inside out on a really truly blustery day.         AND  I got tired of losing them.    


Yesterday morning I got ready for work while the rain pounded against the windows and made small rivers in my gardens.  When I went to get my rain coat with the hood - I remembered I had left it at work - hanging on the back of my door.  (am I now losing my rain coat as well as umbrellas??!!)  So I made a mad dash for my car without any protection and managed - just - to get there with out acquiring the "drowned rat" look.


By the time I was ready to come home for my morning break - the rains had stopped and the sun was peaking out.... I grabbed my rain coat (I'm no fool!!)  I dragged that rain coat back and forth to school between the morning break .. the lunch break.... BUT when I ran home for an afternoon break - the sun was shining brightly and the heat and humidity was sky rocketing.  I left my rain coat sitting on a chair in the kitchen. 

At 4:30 the sky got black - threatening dark black - and just about the time I would have left for the day and headed home - the severe thunder storms hit.  The torrential rains were so bad - cars were stopping in the middle of the road - people were hudding inside the school - I could barely see the houses across the street.  And my rain coat ?? well it was sitting all safe and dry in my kitchen.

When it all let up enough to allow me to run to my car - the water in the parking lot was about 1/3 of the way up the tires of the parked cars... The roads were overflowing with mud puddles....... My mind had turned to building boats............ 

In the evening - after the worst of the storm seemed to have passed....... W called me.  He asked me if I had checked the basement??!!!  I asked why as I got up and moved towards the stairs........... because he told me his basement was flooded - lots of homes had flooded basements......... I began to worry - seriously worry.  But I was sitting high and dry and breathed a huge sigh of relief.  

W on the other hand had had visitors interested in buying his house there when the basement started to flood (OMG) and had the second set of visitors cancel out because their basement was flooded.  

This morning the sun is shining and all's right with the world again........ the storms have passed .. W is trying to dry out his basement before the next set of visitors arrive.... and me?? well I am thinking I can safely leave my rain coat at home today...... tomorrow is another story - more rain forecast for tomorrow............

Friendship

I have been thinking about "friends" recently.  And I realized all the "friends" I have had have come from the places I work - or the schools I attended - or (back in the day) the churches I attended.  And when it came time for me to move on - or for them to move on - we lost touch.  So they aren't friends anymore are they???

That's an honest question ......... honest true !!  I honestly don't know the answer.  

Ya see I think I need remedial work on "friends".  I think I am a bad friend.  I don't keep in touch and I make very little effort to make new friends. 


And funny enough it doesn't bother me one little bit.......... that I don't have friends.... BFF .. or close acquaintances - or any sort of friend really.  If people pass through my life I am delighted.  I laugh with them and visit with them - have them over for meals and parties............ But once they (or I ) move along I rarely think of them again.


BUT when I look around me people who surround me have friends and seem to understand how this whole "friendship" thing works.  I don't.  So I have been watching - paying close attention - almost taking notes.... cause I think it is supposed to be important......... this having friends.  


I was thinking about when I retire - when I move out of province.  I have said and will continue to say - "we'll keep in touch"........... "you'll come out and visit with me and W" but deep down inside I know once I move - the friends will disappear.


I think a part of me envies those that have close friends - but there is a larger part of me that can't figure out how they find the time to have all these friends.  When do they find quiet time for themselves??? 


And there is my problem - I believe.  The agoraphobic in me ... the hermit in me........ likes my alone time.  I am ok with one friend - like W - living with me - being in my life....... but parties and crowds of people - they exhaust me.  The logistics of phoning people and making dates and actually going out and doing things together???? It boggles my mind..... my orderly mind - where do I fit it all in???


But I will continue to work on this failing of mine....... friends - finding them and keeping them - cause when I move - I will have to start all over again...... because the folks around the edges of my life now will disappear -just like all the other folks that were sprinkled into and around my life have done in the past.


Friends are what normal people have - right?? Friends are who normal people socialize with and play with and laugh with - right???   I would like to be normal I think - at least for the last part of my life.

Vanilla Time

It was a quiet weekend this past weekend... 

 Oh there was a play party we could have gone to........ but we opted to go to dinner with eldest daughter.  She used her brand spanking new barbeque (her belated Christmas gift from me) and made us fancy dancy "pizza" hamburgers and grilled asian potatoes.  We drank wine and mom got a little plastered (it doesn't take much to make me tipsy) and sat outside by candle light and enjoyed quiet conversation.  

Sunday morning I made fried eggs and bacon and toast and W and I watched the Sunday morning news show.  Then we picked up eldest daughter and went to the market to buy some flowers for ALL our gardens.  Mission accomplished - flowers bought and planted -  W and I went out for a quick lunch at a sausage shop near me.  They make the very best sausages everything from Jamaican sausages  to bacon and maple  to swiss cheese - the choices are endless and so yummy !!!

Then W returned home and I went for a hot bath to ease the aching muscles from digging the gardens for the new plants.  Then I curled up on the sofa with my "other" man - Bruce Willis - and watched a couple of his movies.

It was a quiet weekend - compared to our usual ones - but oh so very nice.  It helped me recharge my batteries for the next bout of busy-ness ........... 

Everyone needs a quiet time every so often.

Sunday Sentiments