Sunday Sentiments

It's been said before but it doesn't hurt to repeat it............

 

Celebration Lunch

Well I survived yet another doctor's appointment!!  Ya know - I went my whole life barely seeing a doctor (unless I was dying from some flu bug) but it would seem the older I get the more my body has decided to make up for all those healthy years.

The blood tests I had taken on Thursday came back clear.  My doctor said "you are as healthy as can be"........  I have all these health complaints but I am healthy (le sigh).

(though the specialist on Thursday did give me some new meds to help with the "woman problems")

Sooooooooooo it's all in my head - literally and figuratively.

W and I went out to lunch to our favourite hamburger joint - which is a huge step up from a "hamburger joint"...... and had a massive huge celebratory lunch...complete with milk shakes (they make THE best milk shakes!)

 Then we spent the afternoon poking around in some quaint lil shops picking up some Christmas stuff.

This weekend we I am going to finish the decorating - have to get the tree up!!! It's not Christmas until the tree is up.  AND get my ass back to the gym and 'our' asses back on the healthy eating program......... 

Life is good...........

 

 

New Day

and joy oh joy the sun is shining!!

For those of you following my health saga......... no new cancer - no old cancer either.  But my weird and wonderful symptoms have them stumped so I was sent for blood tests and am on some new meds............ shrug... hopefully they will find the cause of my weird (growing weirder ever day) symptoms.

W has been working hard to earn his "fudge points" (cheeky grin) and the decorating on the house is coming along... I am excited to photograph our "Whoville" and show you all.

And that's about all the news on The Journey........ unless you count yet another doctor's appointment today - but not worrisome at all......

Enjoy your Black Friday - all you shoppers.

 

Happy Turkey Day to our Neighbours to the South

Family Tree

Our family tree - no actually - MY family tree is a little bent these days.  I won't believe it is broken......... not yet....... just a little bent.

Life does that ..... bends things........ people, trees, hearts.......... but hopefully doesn't break them - doesn't snap them in half.

I wonder some times (like now) if my mother/father ever felt I had left them behind... cut them out of my life ....... found a new family - made a new family and forgot where I came from.  I hope not....... with all my heart I hope I never made my Mom feel I had found something new and better .......... better than the family I grew up in.

And if dealing with this family crap wasn't enough ....... I got a call from the hospital yesterday....... they want to see me. 

Back last spring - if you remember - they found two masses - one in my uterus and one in my bladder.  The one in my uterus was benign........ but I have had some minor issues that just haven't disappeared.  And so I am off to see a new specialist...... tomorrow. 

It is ENOUGH now!!!  I am SO damn tired of feeling scared....... and stressed...... and unhappy.  I just want to live happily ever after ya know?!  And every single time I think I am there - something comes along and knocks me down - again.

W says tomorrow will be nothing........ easy peasy.... they won't find anything that can't be fixed easy peasy.............everything is going to be ok.  He's seldom wrong you know...... I am trying to hold on to his optimism - trying to be brave and strong....... but it just feels a little too much some days. 

"The Difference a Day Makes"

Almost a week ago I wrote how excited I was - we were going to have a mini holiday this past weekend.......... and that I was getting excited for Christmas.  Everything seemed to be falling into place... everyone seemed happy ........

And then it all kinda fell apart........... 

Oh the time W and I spent together in the hotel was amazing........ W got to go to his flight club and pop in on his train club (well ex-train club) and go to all his hobbie shops...... I spent quiet time in the hotel just vegging..........

And then we went to grandson's birthday party.......... It should have run like clock work.. it should have been easy peasy .. drop in .. have coffee and cake - watch the birthday boy open his presents and get on the road back home........ 

Only that isn't what happened..... extended family happened.  I felt myself getting pissed off ............ and as soon as we could escape we did............ However W was angrier than I was over something that happened..... and it all blew up on Sunday,

I had been trying to come up with an alternate plan for Christmas on the way home in the car.... cause logic told me neither W nor I were gonna make it through 48 hours or so of family Christmas............ 

Despite what I dream of.... sparkling Christmas lights... presents wrapped under the tree.. happy smiling kids.. golden brown turkey with all the trimmings - a Rockwell type of Christmas - it never happens... EVER.  Somebody always gets cranky - or sick.  Kids fight.  Adults fight.  It's never as pretty or Christmasy as I dream............

and that realization shook my world.. my fantasy world.  (god why do I insist on trying to live some sort of damn fantasy??!!)  

Anyway - everything blew up.. W isn't talking to my kids and their extended family - my kids aren't talking to him........ and I am sitting smack dab in the middle feeling like I am gonna be sick.

With things the way they are now - there isn't even any hope of a compromise Christmas.  I will NOT have Christmas without W.... W.I.L.L.  N.O.T.... no way no how.

So now I must search for some way to compromise the family Rockwell Christmas fantasy with the reality of two old buggers alone over Christmas.......... 

shrug - at least there won't be any rude extended family - or sick kids .........

  

Recommendation

I have found the most wonderful fetish photography site. 

Now I do not usually wax poetic about any blog/website - I do post the most interesting ones on the left side - the ones I read.... BUT this site - this new one I found just this morning - is totally amazing.

It appeals to the photographer in me - the sub in me - the voyeur in me.

With permission from Old Master (owner of the site) I am leading the way - follow me to HERE..... for the most amazing photographic treats ever! 

I can only dream of being half as good as Him.

Stillness

“Only in stillness does the imperceptible become discernible” 


This week's photo challenge was "still life".  I have really struggled to create my best still photograph.  The group I am involved with is made up of much more advanced photographers than I am (from Professors of Photo Journalism - to professional photographers - I am SO far removed from them it is almost embarrassing - but I struggle on)


After many hours of researching the technical side of still life photography - to scrolling through hundreds of examples of still life........... I wasn't much farther ahead....... 


This morning I took the bull by the horns.........


I dumped a load of river rocks on the table - found my jade bonsai tree and shot one picture after another.............. 


Here's the one I finally settled on........

Yipee!!

We are going to Montreal this weekend....for yet another grandson's birthday party.

Only this time we aren't gonna do the return trip all in one day.  Nope not doing it.  This time W and I are driving up a day early - and staying over in a hotel!!

W has a flight club he can go to (flight club = remote control helicopters) and I can chill out in the hotel - watch TV, play on my computer, and amuse myself.  Then the next day we can maybe visit some friends - or poke around in some Montreal shops - or whatever before the birthday party.  And then drive home

I am so excited - it's like a mini holiday!!

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oh and I am curious - anyone following the adventures of my Elf on the shelf??? He's in the top right hand corner....... and I post the pic of where he is every day....... 

Christmas is coming and I am SO excited over that too!!!

Road Trip

On Saturday we took off for a road trip to Whitby - for their annual train show.  I brought my camera along (for laughs and giggles).  I decided to challenge myself by taking pictures from a car doing 100K+ ...(I do love a challenge!!)

As with any road trip our first stop was at an On Route to pick up coffee (well for W not for me)............

the following pic is an arty farty shot of their arbor

and the following shots were actually taken from the moving car......... 

We stopped for lunch at this hamburger joint friends took us to a while back...... interesting 50's style diner............

 this was a poster that was in our booth - Xrated dontcha think?

(or should I just get my mind out of the gutter??)

this was a mural in the ladies washroom

AND yes I did actually take a couple of shots at the train show - where W had great  fun poking around the vendor's stalls - finding treasures for his layout..... 

then we met some friends for dinner - and finally arrived home around 10pm.  

Sunday Sentiments

And now for something completely different............

A week or so ago W and I were out at Canadian Tire and I found the cutest lil Christmas creature......elf?? and had to have him. 

I said he was going to be MY Elf on the Shelf.  I was gonna move him upstairs to my "quiet" room until at least the 1st of December...and then he would appear and "move" around the house each day (or when I thought about it).  I am such a kid at heart when it comes to Christmas!!  and usually am left playing all these silly games by myself - for myself.  W is a Grinch and just doesn't get into Christmas.

So I put my lil elf on the stairs to move up to the 'quiet room'.

BUT he disappeared before I got a chance to move him............

That evening when I went down to the family room - there he was sitting on the CD shelf!!

Since then he has appeared in the corner of the kitchen, on the top of the china cabinet in the dining room and sitting in the wing backed chair in the living room.  

Now before everyone goes all mooshy and says "awwwwwwww how sweet of W" you need to know that I have a new fudge recipe for this Christmas.  Maple fudge.  BUT this maple fudge has Cadbury's Caramilk bars in the center.  And W started drooling over this new fudge immediately. 

SO

I told W that if I hear any "grinchy" comments about Christmas this year he loses one piece of fudge......... IF he gets into Christmas he earns one piece of fudge...... (considering he's diabetic his doctor will probably kill me) 

And that dear friends is why MY "Elf on the Shelf" is gadding about the house 2 weeks early - earning fudge points !!!

Celebrate Life

 

Yesterday I had my 6 month scope to check for my bladder cancer.  AND I passed.  No cancer.  Next test in 3 months.

I did do a private dance of joy - shed a few tears of relief - and then came home.

But I can't help but wonder why I don't wear pink ribbons - spout off about cancer prevention - get involved in cancer groups - I don't feel like a cancer survivor - maybe 'cause I am waiting for some magic number of years that will make me feel like a survivor??

Do we ever survive cancer completely?? or do we just survive this battle and finally eventually lose the war??

Maybe for me this feels all too private a battle.  

And maybe for me I choose to celebrate life - today....... and for all the todays I have left.

Day 2

\

So step on up and say hi........ I promise I don't bite !  (well not hard and not unless you want me to)  

I think I broke my own personal best yesterday for comments........ can we beat that record for a second day??? 

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on a completely different note:  I am off this morning for my 6 month cancer scope.  I am strung a little tightly (Ohhhh that's putting it mildly)  I could sure use all good thoughts and vibes ......... see you all on the flip side.

9 Years??!!!

Today is the 9th edition of L.O.L day - love our lurkers day.  A celebration, of sorts, of all those who pop in on our blogs - read - and quietly leave.  (Personally I am not a big fan of the word "lurker" makes me think of stalker - ahhhh well - that's just my twisted mind at work)

I have participated for a number of years, but had some serious reservations about doing it again this year.  In the past few years if I had one or two 'lurkers' leave a comment it was a good year....unlike many of my fellow bloggers who had piles and piles of comments on LOL day. 

I even had a blog planned for today - one about some holiday silliness going on here ..... but then this morning I thought "why not?"  (Have I always been such a follower??)

So here it is......... LOL day -  just for you my friendly lurkers.  The ones who pop in read and quietly slip back into that dark night - leaving me wondering who? what? where?

How about this year you leave a little comment - I know I am most curious about where in the world you hale from......... not the city !!  it doesn't have to be the city - but the country would be nice.  AND if you had any little thoughts to leave while you are in my comment box typing anyway... I would love that!!!

AND if you are interested in reading more blogs that are participating in the LOL day - some of them - I hear - are offering contests and challenges then pop over to Hermione's Heart - she is making a list of all the participants........

If you do comment I will be a good hostess (this year) and answer you........ Enjoy your day..........  
 

11/11/11:00 (updated)

The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month................

I watched the services from Ottawa at the War Memorial - and couldn't help but think how moving???emotional??? (not sure what words describe my feelings) that there was real blood shed there 3 weeks ago - right by the tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  

I can't explain why - but this year - this memorial service - has made me proud to be Canadian more than any other year.

 

Sunday Sentiments

 

This seemed like a good reminder for me this grey Sunday morning as I have my 6 month cancer test this Thursday............ (and yeah I am starting to fuss)

Just Finished

cleaning the house..............

joyfully.


Why joyfully??

It's simple really........ He himself is noticing me again.... "seeing" me...... 

Just today while I was in the kitchen trying to water house plants - we were laughing and Sir whacked my ass......then out came the plastic spoon and my ass got walloped and then my breasts had a turn.

Despite what Sir thinks thought I don't need a play session for hours ... with every toy he owns.  N.O.P.E.  not true.... a whack now and again... a playful tug on the hair... even a nipple pinch in passing..... it all says "I see you!! I love you!! You are my subbie" It makes me happy inside.  It makes doing all the mundane every day things joyful.

Yucky

I have noticed that I have been feeling yucky by Friday every week....I started to think 'stupid' thoughts that somehow exercising was bad for me - making me sick...........

Well the feeling sick didn't ease over the weekend - and yesterday I dragged myself to the gym - dragged myself through my exercises and cardio - and dragged myself home... I thought I was gonna die.

Now I may have picked up a bug (cause I do have some physical symptoms that I won't get into that spells BUG) but still this yucky feeling has been getting worse and worse as the weeks go by.

So this morning I googled (google is my friend) "can exercising make you feel sick?" 

And guess what..... it sure can.......... especially if you push it / over work it / and don't allow a rest time between exercise days.

I go to the gym 4 days a week - Monday through Thursday and by Friday I feel like crap...... having read this article I learned that I may be doing myself damage - and worse than that - if you don't allow the body to heal between the exercise days you can actually PUT ON WEIGHT!!!!

Time to rethink schedules................

On another note.... Sir is taking this hobby of model trains to the extreme.  He has been trying to sort out how the tracks will work in front of his station (or some such thing) .  So yesterday he took off and walked the tracks by the Kingston Station.........

Doesn't he look like the cutest lil train guy??? (very cheeky grin)  Hopefully he can now sort out the rails...........

I can hear you all saying "what does one thing have to do with the other?"  Nothing... I just shared is all.......... 

What's Black and White and.......

Red all over ?? or Read all over??? 


We had a Halloween Party to go to on the Weekend.  Problem - I don't DO Halloween.... hate costumes......... 

BUT this year I had a brain wave!!  I have a "newspaper" corset.  I would wear that with black latex leggings and go as a newspaper....... I hoped I would be "red" all over by the end of the evening - god how I hoped!!

 We had a great time chatting with everyone and taste testing all the yummy potluck food...........

And then........... sometime after dinner - during the post dinner conversation...... my Sir caught my eye and beckoned me to come to him........ my heart thumped against my chest.  Were we gonna play ??? really???!!!

Downstairs we went - up on the cross I went ............ and yes YES after all this time he played with me!!!  It made me tear up..... things are returning to normal.... he beat my ass.... (shaking head - we have such weird measures of normal don't we??)

I kept reminding Sir that he was working on a virgin ass again...... and I was afraid I would forget how to breath through the pain - to climb on top of it... to ride it to the land of the fairies......... 

Sir even used the big wooden paddle ...........I couldn't take as much as I used to many moons ago (before all the surgeries) but I took it!!  

And I took the whips and the other various torture implements.......... and I found my way to the land of fairies............ and danced with them once again.