Boycott

Two weeks ago when I was painting the back fence - on the last day - I hurt my back.  I felt it creak - and I felt the shooting pain.  I cried - it was that bad.  BUT I took Tylenol every 4 hours made the pain manageable.

W was worried and felt I should see a doctor.  I admit, watching me limp up and down stairs and moan and fidget on the sofa was, at best, annoying...at worst, worrisome.  So I agreed to make an appointment.  I had to wait 10 days.  I joked with the nurse by then it would probably be healed.  

Yesterday was my appointment.  AND by yesterday the back was almost healed.  (hell I dug the front garden on Sunday and only had twinges in the back!!)  BUT I figured why not see the doc - ask what might have helped other than home remedies ....... cause we all know it's gonna happen again ...... right???

So I go in - my doctor is away on holidays.  His replacement wants to do a follow up on the surgeries - the cyst from the uterus the cancer from the bladder.  We do that.  

Then he has me doing all these range of motion exercises for my back.  (I have told him it barely hurts anymore - just slight twinges every once in a while)  He is very impressed that I can touch the floor with my hands, that I can bend over backwards, that I can walk on tippy toes .. and on my heels... 

He does a whole lot of poking and jabbing and asking if it hurts (no it doesn't) he asks if my legs have pins and needles  (no they don't) .. I remind him that I think the back is 99% healed and just want to know what to do better in future.

He then asks how I am peeing.  

The whole world just stops and sorta hangs there.

Peeing = bladder = cancer.  
and yeah I have read that bladder cancer can cause back aches.  I don't believe he is going there.

He asks when I see the urologist again.  He IS going there - and I can't believe it.  I can feel my palms getting sweaty - I can feel my heart pounding.

I call him on it.  How can this back ache be the cancer spreading IF they got it all not 8 weeks ago.  AND how come IF it is cancer spreading that Tylenol works.  AND how come IF it is cancer the pain is getting better not worse???

He just smiles and mumbles reassuring (oh yeah??) words and says he would like to see me after I see the urologist in August.

I made the next appointment and left with W.  I could barely talk.  CANCER AGAIN???  It took me a few hours to sort everything out in my head.  and to be realistic.  I pulled muscles in my back.  I DID have pins and needles in my leg for a week or so.  My back is healing.  He is full of crap.

So now I think - unless I am really on death's door - I am gonna boycott doctors.... especially if they are gonna bring up CANCER for every ache and pain I might develop over the next 30 years or so.  (see me stamp my foot?) I can stress and worry quite well all by myself - I don't need some damn doctor helping me do it!

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day 56 of 365