a little broken

It happens sometimes.. i guess.. to all of us.... at some time or another.... but it has thrown me a little bit.........

Yesterday Sir ordered me into my tack bra and off to Cloud's house for coffee.. fine and dandy.. it felt rather nice to wear the tack bra (ok ok call me crazy!!) but it did !! little pricks reminding me of my place... a secret smile between Sir and i when Cloud's wife hugged me tight, or when i bent over to pick something up and the whole bra thing seemed to press tighter into me...

Then home and i was allowed to remove it... and dinner and the usual friday evening tv shows.. nothing out of the ordinary.. and then Sir ordered me up to bed a bit early - because of my topsy turvy week.. and because we have a busy weekend.. and because .. just because i was sleepy............ and as He bent to tuck me in.. having chained me to my side of the bed... His hand went under the covers and He got this wicked grin .. and His hand went to play with me.. and i murmured 'ya know Sir, the expression, "use it or lose it?" well i do believe that applies here'.. i felt no twinges.. no tightening.. nothing.... Sir wasn't to be deterred and He reached for a dildo - one that rarely sees the light of day.. 'willie' we call it .. and it wouldn't even go in!! Well ok Sir did manage to get it in.. but oh my god i felt like a virgin!! and it hurt.. and and and.. two thoughts kept running through my head 1) if this is what Sir wishes then it is His to take.. and 2) i am broken..

Eventually Sir stopped .. i was going to say gave up... but Sir rarely if ever gives up!! and the tears welled up in my eyes and i said "It is broken!!" and a tiny sob broke from my lips.. broken.. me who could wear Sir out.. broken??!! Sir whispered in my ear "you are NOT broken!! trust me!" And i do...... trust Him... so maybe just a little broken??? maybe this weekend it will all be fixed again.... i have my fingers crossed..