if you read Wednesday's question blog.. you know i was struggling with feelings of inadequacy and feelings of failure... i received wonderful comments and emails ... and i have to thank everyone for their support and kind words.....
i have been feeling very much like one of Hasbro's weebles recently..... thinking about Sir's needs and how to fulfill them.. knowing in my heart of hearts that it was gonna mean another submissive....... and when that thought would formulate i would wobble over on my side....
i didn't think Sir was aware of my wobbling..... BUT in His quiet unobtrusive way He knew... yesterday Sir phoned me at work.... (it had been Kid's Day at school and meant a hectic wild day - but specifically lunch hour for me) and Sir called just as i was finishing up my lunch break to check and see how i was... on the drive home i felt all warm and fuzzy .. Sir had shown me ..with a simple phone call .. that i was important to Him....... important enough that during the phone call He laid down tasks for me to do when i got home.. it didn't matter i was dead tired.. or sun burned (yeah yeah - blond hair fair skinned and i still need to have ONE sunburn each season to remember hats and sun block .. sigh!!!) i didn't want to do those tasks... i was tired and sulky ... but i did them !! cause it just felt right.. it was all part of Sir's plan to right the "weeble"........
Then He had left a very clear comment on that question blog... pointe finale ! i have not failed Him........
Then He called me before bed.. when He got home from work...... just to check and see if the tasks were done.. (and more importantly .. to see how i WAS...... ) quietly working His righting process...
Sir can be soft and gentle - The GOS (good old Sir) that we all tease Him about.... when He needs to be .. gentling righting His wobbling subbie.. He can be a stern task Master when i am flippant and bratty... demanding obedience....... with a tug on my hair or a tug on my heart He can pull me to Him and hold me safe.......
i am a very lucky submissive to be collared to such a Man !!!
morningstar, Let me say first, that I am glad that your Sir has stepped in to do what is needed to right your wobblies. I do believe that, when the thinking/feeling that you have described here gets started, there is really no other way to answer the questions except to go directly to the One who holds our hearts and ask what we need to know. That you have done.
ReplyDeleteAs for what you would or should do should the situation that you are concerned about ever arise -- it is a future that you cannot know. Therefore, it does not exist. Like so many other realities that you once imagined with some trepidation, and perhaps have encountered and traversed in your journey, that one can only be tackled when it actually comes into reality in the present moment. To invest time in it as a "hypothetical" is to waste energy. Trust that (should it ever come to pass) you will do the very best that you can in the event, and that you will have the care and guidance of your Sir. For now, live this day.
swan
Yeah. What she said..lol.
ReplyDeleteShe's much more eloquent than I.
I feel your anguish. Master makes a comment now and then, something He might want to explore and the crushed look on my face always makes Him pet me and "take it back" but I know it's there. You can't un-say what's already out there. And I don't know if I can handle it. And I don't know if it *matters* if I can handle it.
I can lay that in His lap, and I have every confidence that He will help me and hold me when my feelings are hurt, and do everything He can to make it as pleasant and easy for me as possible. Everything that is, except *not* do it, if He really wants it.
So... how'd that do for advice, huh? LOL... the things we do for a decent beating. Honestly. ;)
Hopefully this weekend, Master and I can attend to that little challenge, though I'm not even sure we have more than 11 sets of sticks! Time to stock up. :)
kaya
Awww, I like reading your happy blogs. :) I'm glad you're feeling good about things.
ReplyDelete