Tuesday, June 14, 2005

to do..........

1) work really hard on my "but Sirs"....
i know my constant questioning and digging in my heels is less than subbie like.. and most definitely a major irritant to Sir.. have i always tested Sir in this manner??? testing Sir is a very bad thing.. i know that !!! so why do i do it??

2) staying healthy....
i most definitely have let myself go this year - in all aspects. Weird as it sounds.. when my health fell apart i let everything else go too.... bad bad me !!! Anyway it is time to get my act together .. again!

3) pleasing Sir

i want to please Sir in everything...... yet i fail in so many different ways.. small ways and big ways.. like my nightly training.. i have such sensitive nipples.. at first the very thought of nipple clamps sent me spiralling down .. pleading and crying.. another submissive friend suggested a nightly training.. start at 5 minutes and work my way up. That was just over 3 years ago.. and i was up to 20 minutes with clover clamps. Then one night a week or so ago.. one nipple was absolutely black when i removed the clamps. It scared me. i had noticed that the pain in my nipples was as bad as it had ever been - if not worse. i tried very hard to ignore it.. till the night that my nipple was black. It didn't last long .. maybe only a day or so... but it was enough for me to ask Sir's permission to stop the nipple training.. and He agreed. BUT the whole point to this training was to get my nerve up to have my nipples pierced. NOW i can't face the thought.. and i feel as though i have let my Sir down ... but how does one over come something as physical as the pain in my nipples???

4) remembering the rules.......
only problem is ... one of the rules is no pants... and with the weight gain none of my dresses / skirts fit anymore.. i only have pants that fit now ... but i will refer back to rule #2 and work really hard on getting back my "girlish" figure so that one day soon i CAN wear the dresses again.. maybe even purchase one or two nice new dresses as a reward.. (if Sir gives His permission that is)
i have lived in this interim period for so long now.. i wonder if i have forgotten the rules !?! i remember the dress rule cause i feel guilty every time i pull on a pair of pants when Sir is here.. but what about the other rules???? didn't i have them written down somewhere??? am i forgetting more than i think???
Maybe i need to write out a new list of rules... keep them at hand so i start "remembering" them all again...

my to do list... not that long.. but long enough....... and definitely requiring some hard work......


  1. I am sure you will achieve your goals you have the stregth of character and the desire to do so


  2. Anonymous12:07 pm

    if you'd like any moral support/encouragement with #2, i'd be more than happy to be your cheerleader and help you stick with your goals. This is one of my focuses also (as you may have read in my blog).

    Hugs of encouragement,


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