Many moons ago - i had a submissive friend........... someone i really and truly admired. She was real time - married with kids - a full time teacher - and managed somehow to keep all the plates in the air. She had a quiet grace that made me want to emulate her....... she also had a strong will and an even stronger backbone.
Then - something happened - history, old history that i will not repeat here, and she and her hubbie backed off completely from the public scene. As far as i know they didn't do D/s or anything for years and years.
They came back this summer. I was lucky enough to visit with her and her Dominant husband twice this summer. Her quiet grace, strong will and even stronger backbone are all still very apparent. I am back admiring her...... hero worship in a way.
She left a very interesting comment on an article on Fet Life a while back......... and it spoke to me. She wrote:
"I know that if there is no "lubrication", I get annoyed. For example, if I do all my exercises, ask permission for every morsel of junk, use SIR as much as possible, and forego the underwear, I expect some fun stuff to keep my mind submissive. If I get no sex, no underwear checks, no "looks", no kink, then I figure I am in a vanilla relationship. If I am in a vanilla relationship, I am an equal and do not ask permission for anything."
That was one of the problems I identified in the relationship between W and myself last spring. There was no "lubricant" as she put it............
Mind you.......... in all fairness .......... W said i was fighting him every step of the way...... which means there was no "lubricant" on his part either.
And when there is no lubricant - everything grinds to a halt........ and it hurts........ BIG TIME.
I would like to think......... hope......... that W and I are working towards finding that lubricant again..............
As the expression goes - you don't know what you have till it's gone. I know very well what I had........ and there is a big part of my soul that is missing it.