Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Conundrum


co·nun·drum/kəˈnəndrəm/Noun

 1. A confusing and difficult problem or question.


Saturday evening - play party.
 
I have been trying for a couple of days to put down in words what I felt at the play party - what happened at the play party - what stupid mind games I played  on myself - without much success.  So I am hoping you will all forgive me if this is not up to standards... this IS just a mess of thoughts I need to get out there.. and see if I can sort them out...

The evening started with W having trouble getting me into my corset. We had been shopping in the afternoon at my (now) favourite Oriental Boutique and I was able to purchase 3 Asian outfits.  One was a lovely silk jacket (sorry no pictures as of yet) that I planned to wear over my oriental corset and black skirt.  After a couple of false starts we decided to leave the corset as is and head over to the club - hoping there would be someone there more experienced in tying a "mid line tie" (i think that is what they called it) 




After walking 3 blocks in the heat  in high heels with the silk jacket on and the corset picking and stabbing me in all the wrong places - I was sweating profusely - which always makes me very uncomfortable.  Fortunately - when we arrived at the club -  I was able to find someone - immediately - god bless her - who actually makes corsets to show W how to lace up this type of corset.  Once tightly laced in and the jacket off.. I felt much better - more comfortable.... and was able to settle my mind down and meet and greet folks - some we hadn't seen for a very long time.

There were 3 birthdays to celebrate - and one of the Dominant's submissive decided to give him a strip tease dance for his birthday - and we were all encouraged to gather round and watch.  It made me uncomfortable.  I don't do "peeping Tom" well - hell I don't even do voyeurism well.  (never mind the fact the submissive was very nervous - and I seemed to tune into her discomfort and it added to MY discomfort)


Then almost immediately afterwards - W suggested we use the bondage table for a session.  Now I know why the table and not another piece of equipment.  I had brought the two knives I had purchased on Friday (see yesterday's blog entry) and W wanted to use them.  AND........ when I am being "knifed" I really do need my body fully supported - as my knees go weak and my legs get very wobbly at the first touch of the cold steel.

The problem with having me lie down flat is that I can't wiggle as much as I do when I am standing against - say a cross - and it seems that my wiggling has a whole lot to do with how fast / how well I process the pain.  

Anyway - as I went to slide onto the bondage table - I realized that for the first time in years and years - I had not brought a towel - or something - to cover the table.  Now this is a quirk of mine.  I never trusted that the person using the table before me had cleaned it properly - I always wanted something extra - and too - if I am going to be perfectly honest - this table covering helped sop up my overflowing juices and saved on embarrassment after the fact.  In my mind I shrugged my shoulders and figured I would make sure the table was well cleaned when we done.  


However as I lay stretched out on the table waiting for W to organize the toys and get ready....... I noticed that every other play team had covered their piece of equipment with a towel or plastic.  My stomach immediately went into knots and I wanted to hide.  My mind raced to think of something I might have to cover the table - my jacket?? no bloody way - not going to mark that - my skirt???? maybe but it is layers and layers of slippy slidey material and I had this flash of my lying on it.. and then inadvertently sliding right off the table along with the skirt.  I squeezed my eyes shut tight - and pretended everything was fine............. AFTER ALL I would clean the equipment afterwards - twice if I had to............ 


By this point W was well into the warm up and I hadn't been paying attention....... so I was running fast trying to catch up............... when ............. some submissive - who was playing out of my line of vision - started crying out.... shrieking... and then laughing.... my mind skidded to a halt while it tried to process the noise....... 

By now W had moved along to the harder toys..... and my mind was still way back there at the beginning of the warm up..... I had to work very hard to focus and catch up.......... 

But I got there................ almost.


Twice I could feel the heat in my lower belly building - the orgasm peaking - and then W stopped and moved on to the next toy - or changed the rhythm - because He was trying his damnedest to get the reaction we both love from hard play...........and he had no idea - none whatsoever that I was still madly trying to catch up.

He stroked .. he hit... he bit... he hit some more.  But I seemed to stay 2 steps behind him.  The knives came out and I did relax some into this more sensual type of play....... but still it did nothing to fan the embers burning inside.  At that point I realized there was no point in fussing....... it just wasn't going to happen that night.  I had the adrenaline pumping through my veins...... i was seeing lots and lots of pretty lights and my fairies were dancing just out of reach.......... The climax - the all draining - total surrender of orgasm wasn't going to happen........ but the world wouldn't come to a skidding halt.

I honestly don't remember much else of the play session........... I DO remember cleaning the table well - twice !!!  even if the juices hadn't spilled out of me...... I was gonna make damn sure the table was clean!  


And I remember the walk back to our hotel - on wobbly legs - passing crowds of drunken revelers who worried me on some level.......... I remember collapsing into the HUGE bed in the hotel and dozing off to sleep ............. and thinking that we have another play party this coming weekend - and there will be another chance to get me over the top... flying high - dancing with my fairies................ 


cause I will make bloody sure I have something to cover the equipment !!

2 comments:

Sir said...

Just to let you know, I was having troubles getting into Dom mode that night for some reason that I am still trying to figure out in My mind...

BlazngScarlet said...

Isn't it 'funny' how one thing can completely alter the mood?
I'm sorry your faeries were just out of reach .... but I do hope you enjoyed Ottawa!