Thursday, March 19, 2009
More thoughts on bubbles..
i wanted to flesh out yesterday's blog entry .... i received so many comments and emails.. most of which got me thinking again........ you see yesterday's entry was just a wisp of a thought that took on a life of its own - once i started typing.. but i realize from the comments etc that i didn't fully explain myself...
That play room downstairs was an empty room when Sir met me.. it held only my treadmill. Was unpainted and down right ugly - with it's brown paneled walls and linoleum floor. Sir kept saying "imagine what we could do with this room" and so His imagining became a reality. The walls were painted - the floor covered with a rug - O hooks hung in the ceiling. Then the cross and furniture were purchased and added.
BUT back in those days - Sir only came over to play with me for an afternoon. Somehow the bedroom seemed way too intimate. So the play room came into existence. As the journey continued - the room was opened up to friends who came over for play parties... back in the day when folks actually did play.
Slowly life has changed... friends have left the scene or only play at home in their bedrooms (personally i think a number were a little disappointed that Sir and i did not swing) Going downstairs to play became a thing of the past for Sir and i.
So the room sits ... unused.
It is a room that causes me some ummmmm difficulties. It is not a room that can be converted to "vanilla" - the cross is permanently screwed into the floor - for heaven's sakes !! Now selkie asked about my daughters... and both of them know about the room.. youngest daughter has no desire to see it.. and eldest daughter is in the lifestyle (sort of) and she has been in the room - even played in it.
BUT i can not send the grandkids down there to play when everyone is over...
It is awkward (for me at least) to have vanilla folks going down there and turning right instead of left - to see the train room - as the play room is a big open expanse and easily peeked into. It is awkward when the hydro meter reader comes in and goes downstairs.. It is awkward when any maintenance people come in and have to go downstairs. i don't think it bothers Sir.. but it does bother me...
Cloud mentioned the historical value of the room.. the memories that live there. And He is right........ however ..... the memories will always live in our minds.. and have (in my opinion) very little to do with a room - but more to do with a time and a point on the journey.
The play room was just that ..... a room..... a BIG room that now lies quiet. Wasted space in a lot of ways.
swan put it nicely when she said the BDSM had come up from the basement. And it's true.. it is like we have brought it into our lives - rather than keeping it separate.
AND nothing about Sir and i have changed - not one iota!! i still serve Him.. He still beats my ass.. It's just that it doesn't have to be scheduled in.. downstairs. It is part of our life. And NO we are not going vanilla - quite the opposite - i believe we have stopped segregating our lives into vanilla and kink.. but are combining the two the best way we know how. And while others who have never had the opportunity to have a nice lil dungeon may question our sanity in thinking about re-converting the space - the truth of the matter is.. a dungeon is a fantasy.
For me - the play room is a fantasy that i was holding on to. Hell doesn't the word dungeon drag up all sorts of images of naked slaves - caged slaves - slaves being beaten??? sure it does. It also creates the image of dark dank stone walls, scary torture places. The play room was all part and parcel of a fantasy. And it is way past time to put the fantasies away .. don't ya think??
There is no glorious BDSM world - even within one's own four walls. There shouldn't be... not if this is a lifestyle.. versus a fantasy.
Add to that a seed Cloud planted a few months back (hell it was probably in the late summer). He was planning a play area for someone that would be basically built in a cupboard. A ladder type piece of equipment that could be hidden behind closed doors - and when those doors were opened the ladder thingy could be angled outwards.. the sub lean up against it.. be bound to it and beaten. When all was finished the ladder thingy would easily fold back up into the cupboard the door closed and the room returned to a vanilla state.
That idea appeals to me. A room that could be converted from vanilla to Kink in a moment's notice. My grandkids could have a room to play in (rather than under our feet ) and anyone could pop downstairs without being shocked by medieval torture devices hanging around.
BUT all of this rambling is really just me working things through in my addled brain. All of the equipment in the basement belongs to Sir. And it is Sir's decision if the play room stays or goes... and of course then there is the problem of what to do with all the equipment that won't store anywhere easily.
This is all a lesson in daydreaming for me......... and realizing that kink is out of the basement and into the daylight - where it belongs. AND yeah.. as swan said.. some times kink is mundane and everyday and ordinary............ as it should be when one takes the fantasy out of the equation.