GRUMPY

This is gonna be a grumpy day.......... 

the lil one is off today -- it's a PA day -- so back when I wasn't grumpy I agreed to a day shopping with her and a friend from the campgrounds.. Today I am questioning my sanity

It's bloody cold and I am done with the cold -- yet because this friend is coming and we're gonna use my car for the day I was outside at butt crack of dawn shoveling off the back walk to my car so this friend doesn't kill herself

THEN Sir Steve called and said he had forgotten to put the booster seat in my car and now I have to run over to his work -- during his coffee break -- and get the seat....... so much for my schedule........ 

THEN as I was trying to eat my breakfast and most importantly have my coffee the contractors showed up to continue working on the ceiling...... only they can't start down here cause only one worker showed up......... so I have to report to them when I am going out.......... 

UGH

I am getting grumpier typing this.............. 

Keep your fingers crossed that by the end of today I don't bite someone's head off... it's that kind of day

Update

I want to thank everyone who took the time to encourage me to think about hearing aids from a different point of view.  Believe me I know how silly I was sounding... and how vain....... but ya know -- some days it's hard to see the trees for the forest.

I saw the ear doctor -- wasn't terribly impressed by his 'bed side' manner though I did like his technician who did the testing.  Got a question for those of you who have hearing aids..... did those ear pieces hurt you??? She did a test on my ear drum and dear god !!  I thought she had pierced it !!  It hurt so badly.  and those ear buds they put in for the test -- UGH!!  it felt like my ears were gonna explode....... sigh.... I was probably being a big baby

The final verdict though was........ I do have some hearing loss but nothing more than they see in people in my age.  The doctor did suggest I might want to get some hearing aids though I didn't really need them.  Why would he suggest I spend all that money on something I don't really need??!!  Anyway -- the final assessment was they don't need to see me for 2 years........

So for the next 2 years I will squirrel some money away so I can buy them when / if I need them.

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In other news........ we had more water problems around here.... only this time it was a broken water main across the street.  Didn't really affect us except for the short time they had to turn the water off to the street while they replaced the pipes.......and not much sleep all night while they dug up the street ........  

OH and Sir Steve was sick all weekend -- so no play time or snuggling time.... which is why there wasn't a Monday Morning Report per say.  He's on the mend so here's hoping this weekend will involve some 'us' time.

Yesterday the lil one had her check up at the doctor's.  Sir Steve and I have been watching her pack on the weight..... and have been a little concerned.  It's kind of a bone of contention....... she eats healthy with us but 'mom' bribes with food - and snacks mostly come from the junk food section of the food guide.  The doctor was very politically correct and we didn't hear the word 'fat' or 'diet' ....... but she did stress the need for cutting back on her sugars....... they weighed her of course and both Sir Steve and I were a little shocked.... she's about 10 pounds over the top of the scale. Now Sir Steve needs to try and sit down with the mother and see if we can't get her on the same page -- well at least in the same book -- as us.  We came home with some ideas to cut back on the sugars at our house -- and the doctor will see her in 4 months..... yes a follow up cause the word diabetes was bandied about during the check up.  

Life is good when you can muddle through .........

Struggling......

Most of the time I don't think about the age difference between Sir Steve and myself... most of the time (though I do believe it's always just lurking at the back of my mind)

BUT right now -- today......

I look in the mirror and see an old face looking back at me.... my hands are wrinkled and have age spots ....... 

I hate it !! I want to look younger and god if I had the money I would probably do something more drastic than using lotions and creams........ 

Sir Steve is always telling me it is only a number and it doesn't bother him at all -- and what the rest of the world thinks doesn't matter.  (yeah well when someone asked if I was his mother ??!!!  that was pretty much my worst nightmare)

It's all come to the surface again because a couple of months ago Sir Steve asked me to speak to my doctor about my hearing.  I frequently ask him to repeat things..... which then got me noticing how often I turn the volume up on the television -- or how often in crowds I can't follow conversations - it's all just noise.

Today I am seeing a hearing doctor for a hearing exam.  What if I really am losing my hearing?? What if I really do need hearing aids???  UGH!!  just another sign I am old -- as old as dirt.

And worse than that........ I have checked the prices of hearing aids...... dear god in heaven!!!  way over my budget -- between $1000 - $2000 per ear!!!!  AND our medicare doesn't cover it............ 

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AND yes I know I sound whiny and I should be counting my blessings...... but today in this moment I am feeling old .......... and ugly.

Sunday Music

A few years ago -- when my life fell apart and I do mean fell apart!!  and I didn't know if I could even get up in the morning...... my eldest daughter sent me the following song....

I listened and I cried ..... oh how I cried..... she was telling me she had faith in me ... I could do this!  I mustn't give up........






Then yesterday morning she sent me this version of the same song..... and I cried again!!  I have come so far from the first version........ from not being able to see myself getting out of bed and facing the world..... I have come so very far !!! 






I have taken back my life with the help of Sir Steve...... and life has never been better...

My 'power is turned on and I am being strong' .... cause I did have 'a whole lot of fight left in me' 

Life is good when someone believes in you

Just an Early Morning Chat........

I know I haven't been around much this week....... it's just been one of THOSE weeks.

It started off with a major snow storm and arctic colds on Sunday -- and went downhill from there.  There was so much snow to shovel we ran out of places to put it.... it was so bloody cold they cancelled school buses for 4 straight days so the children didn't have to stand on street corners (they said frostbite could happen in just 10 minutes!)  The schools were open so Sir Steve drove the lil one back and forth for the 4 days.......

The contractors were here working on the leaky bathroom upstairs and were in and out of our apartment ...... on Tuesday night the 'boss man' was cleaning up their crap down here -- and lifted his ladder to carry it out the door and managed to drop it -- right on top of my laptop breaking it!!

Wednesday was an ugly day for me -- tears over my precious laptop -- trying to find one similar to replace it (the contractor didn't argue at all simply agreed to pay for a new one) 

Thursday and Friday the contractors were working down here putting up gyproc and plastering over it....... can I say mess??  As well... I had asked a 'friend' who supposedly has a business to do lawn care and clear snow to come and push back our snow banks..... (and of course I was gonna pay for it) -- waited 2 days and he never came!!  GOD !!!  and all he does is bitch and complain he has no money!!  and business is slow and woe's is me no money to pay bills -- and yet he just doesn't show up to do a job??!!!  Thanks to our contractor who knew someone who knew someone -- I found a wonderful young man yesterday who was more than willing to move our snowbanks -- and said any time I needed him he'd come and clear our parking spaces !!

BUT --  people -- and talking -- and people -- and noise -- and people and dirt !!  I just don't do well with people around me all the time (obviously not Sir Steve -- people as in outsiders) ... I love my peace and quiet -- need my peace and quiet to maintain peace and quiet in my soul........ 

Ahh well -- it's Saturday -- the lil one is at her mom's .... the contractors won't be back till Monday (and hopefully with the new laptop which was ordered) and there's nothing major on the agenda for the weekend -- time to lap up the peace and quiet and soak in the love of my Sir.......