Ring Tones

There was a time when W had the ringtone "To Sir with Love" as my ring tone (hell he might still have it I honestly don't know).  For those of you who don't remember the lyrics - OR - who are too darn young to have even seen the movie.......... the important part of the lyrics go:

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters,
That would soar a thousand feet high,
To Sir, with love. 

If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start,
But I, would rather you let me give my heart,
To Sir, with Love 

I haven't been able to get that song out of my mind these past few weeks.  Oh I am not saying goodbye to W - not even close.  BUT it has made me think a lot about what love means......... and the traits of a Dominant - a REAL Sir..... at least in my mind. 

I am not just a play thing for W......... he isn't there for me just when the times are good and my ass is in the air for him to whoop.  He isn't just there when I am serving him and doing all manner of subbie things for him.  He is there for me when the days are dark and fear is clouding my vision.  He is there for me when I am less than who I can be. 

He is there for me every single day - and he believes in me!  He puts aside his needs and wants and just every day things he needs to do to come to me - to hold my hand through doctor's appointments and yucky miserable tests.  And it isn't a short hop skip and jump to get to me either.  It involves a 3 hour drive in winter weather - but He comes each and every time.  And he gives me the strength to face yet another test... and yet another test result........ He IS my rock.  

And this caring makes me hang my head in shame that all those years ago I ripped His collar from my neck and took (what I now call) a sabbatical from our life together.  Makes me embarrassed that I didn't trust in His love and His caring and His integrity enough.  I have wanted to ask him......... to beg him....... to collar me again - for a long time.  But most of the time I don't think I deserve that right....... haven't earned that right.... haven't earned His trust again.  And so I wait............. 

And while I wait He cares for me better than any Dominant (or man) before Him.  He is more than I could hope for........... more than I deserve.

I don't need A day to tell him I love him.  I don't need A Valentine's Day .   This simple man is embedded in my heart - and will be there forever.

 




 

 

 

More please............

So........... I saw the doctor yesterday afternoon.

She wants more tests.

So next Thursday (Valentine's Day for god's sakes!!)  I am to present myself at the hospital for yet another procedure.  

 

 

Another Weekend

I think I am getting tired of blah weekends - which is probably a good sign........... 

Saturday I spent the day cleaning and some of the day vegging out watching my taped TV shows.

Sunday the girls were coming over for a small birthday celebration for eldest daughter.  I say "girls" but my grandsons came too - so the celebration was pretty even - 3 girls and 3 boys.    The boys played with their video games and we girls chatted - eldest daughter opened her birthday presents - we all ate cake .......... Then the girls packed up the kids and headed off to youngest daughter's house for a Super Bowl party - I do not DO American football - and truthfully didn't need the noise and crowds....... so I stayed home to clean up the mess and finish recharging my battery for the week ahead.

You have to see the cake I bought - mostly for the kids........... I saw them about a month ago and so wanted an occasion to buy one - just to try it !!!

Today - hopefully - W is heading back down here.  I have yet another appointment with the doctor tomorrow - to get the results from the test a week ago............. I am pretty sure things won't be settled tomorrow........ am pretty sure I am facing yet more tests that will make the diagnosis conclusive - shrug - but who knows............ 

And that was the "print out" of my weekend...............  

Sunday Sentiments

Post Script to School Humour

Just a quick addendum to yesterday's post about the "Great Kidnapper Caper"......



To recap briefly - my markers had been 'kidnapped'.  The ransom demand was 3 cups of hot coffee - sugar and 3 muffins.

Sooooooooooooo...........

When I got to school I volunteered one of my grade 6 boys to help me prepare the ransom.  We found a small square box and 2 styrofoam cups and a couple of packages of sugar.  We also took 2 small muffins (that had been leftover from the hot lunches the day before)

I had some instant coffee.  We boiled up some water.  And took the whole lot to the main office - the "drop for the ransom".  I made 1 and 1/2 cups of instant coffee.  We cut the second muffin in half - and we put 2 packages of sugar in the box.  We carefully and gently put the 1 and 1/2 cups of hot coffee in the box - without lids.  I then added a note that said something to the effect of " this is half the ransom demand - when ALL my markers and carrier are returned safely I will complete the ransom demand".  We put that in the box.   

Then I taped the box shut - with electric tape.

And we left the drop spot.


Then as more older kids came in - I explained what was going on.  I asked them if they wanted to "stake out " the drop site.  They more than willingly agreed.  

So starting around 7:45 in teams of 2 - my older kids started "nonchalantly"  walking past the main office

Around 8:30 I guess it was ....... two of my stalkers came screaming back to my office laughing and shouting that the markers had mysteriously re-appeared.  "We did it!!!"

Best part of the whole thing - besides getting my carrier back - the kids kept giggling and squirming and one of them said to me "I can't believe how much fun teachers CAN be!!!"  


Yeah believe it or not.......... we teachers can be fun (see me grinning??!!)