Last week I dumped all my pent up emotions in The Explosion.... some people took it very wrong and blamed Sir Steve... tried to fix my problems maybe?? tried to offer advise/comfort/empathy maybe?
I felt uncomfortable -- and it's been nagging at me ever since.......
I need to clear the air.........
Roz - dear Roz - got it! she said between the usual stresses I was also dealing with the pain ... AND she recognised that I had posted what a good weekend we had actually had - how the venting had helped.
When I vent or rant....... it is basically a 'moment in time' ... and is most definitely only MY side of the story. (let's remember here - this is MY blog and it's perfectly ok to only write my side )
What you don't see .........
Sir Steve comes home from work and....
basically takes over..
He and the lil one clean up after dinner
He puts the lil one to bed and reads with her every single night
He is more than willing to work from home so I can go to appointments
He offers to do the groceries
He is always telling me to not over do it
He treats me to Tim Horton's french vanilla and a donut every friday
From time to time he will come home with flowers to brighten up the house
He will order in dinner on the weekends
AND you don't see .......
how I do NOT ask for help
how I take over situations
how I give the impression 'I got this!' even when I don't
how I believe I have to be perfect
Please understand - we are both doing the best we can under less than ideal circumstances...... and sometimes I just vent....... at home and on here....
BUT interesting enough - the fall out from that blog made me realize I have the tools to make my/our life better...... last Friday morning Sir Steve suggested I leave the groceries till Saturday and he would come with me........ my knee jerk reaction was "NO it's MY job" but Saturday morning I asked if he would come with me.......... OMG groceries went so smoothly....... and I didn't feel guilty about sharing the shopping with him
So one small step towards working together .. one GIANT step towards admitting I can not do everything..........
Life is good when you realize you really aren't alone in this battle..........
