Over a month ago I walked away from The Journey. I felt I had run out of words. I felt when / if I wrote it was all boring vanilla stuff. I felt that the boring vanilla stuff was off the mark for a BDSM blog -- ya know?! I felt I didn't deserve to write here.
BUT
some people didn't give up on me...... every day folks dropped by to visit -- even though I hadn't written a word. Every. Single. Day. over 30 people dropped by.
AND -- to be honest
I miss writing here ....... maybe not every day -- but certainly occasionally. I think I just have to reconcile myself to the fact that mostly my life is vanilla -- 99% vanilla. In my heart of hearts I am still very much submissive -- I still live to serve him. It might just not be story book BDSM - some 50 Shades of sexy - but it is my reality.
And so I will write -- it will be mostly mundane -- a whole lot of angst (cause angst makes up a huge part of my soul) and much love........ for my Sir and for his lil one.
Hey Morningstar,
ReplyDeleteHere I have a thought for you. Did you ever think that all of your ramblings be they vanilla or BDSM in nature have a huge impact on everyone who pops by?
I love reading your musings, whatever they are. Because, I get to see that I am no different from you. I am submissive and long for a more guided lifestyle with my husband. Some days, I get my wish, other days not so much.
But when I read here,I find that that seems to be the way of things. Some days or weeks are very "hard core" and some are vanilla.
It is reassuring for me to see that someone who has lived this lifestyle for a long time has the same concerns, feelings, ups and downs as I do.
It makes me feel not alone.
And if all you write is vanilla stuff, that's ok too, because being a mom and wife, I get that too. And it makes me laugh to hear of the antics of lil' one.
So write what ever you want to write. This is your blog and you can say whatever you want, vanilla or otherwise. At least you are brave enough to try and write out your journey in this crazy world.
Thanks for being here.
a newbee sub
Boo
Same here. There is a lot of vanilla between the spankings :)
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
Hi Morningstar,
ReplyDeleteYou are loved here and were definitely missed. I'm so glad to see you back. The friendships made here go beyond the kink, or desire for kink. The kink is one part of us. We want to hear about the vanilla stuff too :)
Hugs
Roz
*sticks hands up* ... Please miss, I'm one of the 30!
ReplyDeleteHeh, seriously - yup, what others said. Yes, the kink is nice to see but mostly because of the sense of happiness and GLEE when you write about it, but it's not what we come for. We come to read what you've said, about your life. I've been reading you for a very very long time. I was trying to think and I think it must be at least 8 years, quite possibly longer than that. When you check someone every day, even from a distance, you care about their life - their WHOLE life, even just seen from the very small lens of a blog. We may respect your wish to step away, but by golly, we're gonna keep checking in, just in case you changed your mind. (I still check on the 'Under his Hand' site, for example, even though I KNOW she likely won't ever pick that up again, and I know why, and I have her on Facebook, that doesn't matter. I still hope one day she will ... for her, as much as for me.)
So, yeah. glad you came back. :) And I hope you keep writing. About anything you want to write about, not just the kink!