Sensitivity

How many are wondering if I went back on Sunday to watch that movie???? 

I have been struggling with posting the answer to that .............. ever feel like something is SO good you don't want to jinx it???

I called him Sunday morning - and agreed to return to watch the movie - he sounded pleased?? excited??? and announced he would make me supper - the pork chop recipe he had told me about......... 

Funny thing - as though she was reading my mind - mini me messaged me just after I had confirmed the movie and dinner with him.......and said something to the effect about understanding my wanting to respect my body  - BUT - if I felt like fucking him there wasn't anything wrong with that.  She made me smile - and created a storm of butterflies in my stomach.  This was really becoming more and more about what I wanted............ I was pretty sure he would respect what decision I made and not push it........... so yeah - it was pretty much up to me.

So yes I did go........ and we did watch the movie - it was a DVD - something called The Orchid - with Jacqueline Bissett and Mickey Rourke.  It wasn't that great a movie ...... I kept waiting for it to improve and it didn't.  He was disappointed cause it wasn't exactly what he was expecting either.  Apparently there is an Orchid 2 - but he couldn't get it.

We were snuggling on the sofa watching this movie - and it felt right - comfy - his arms seemed to fit around me just right..... his kisses were soft and gentle - no pressure.  

Eventually he got up to start supper - he told me what we were having - pork chops and mashed potatoes and veggies - but I was NOT allowed to know what veggies - I would try them - he was sure I would like them.  I smiled - there was a little tone of command in the "you Will try the veggies" .  Again I was not allowed to help ...... I was to sit and finish watching the movie.........

Dinner was so yummy!!  And He did pick a small piece of the veggie out of the pan and walked towards me with it between his fingers.  He stood over me as he hand fed me - I was prepared to gag on it........ was scared I would gag on it.. but as he popped it in my mouth I looked up at him..... those eyes !!!  They were again pinning me to the chair - making me chew and swallow - without gagging............ my god it was good!!  who knew?? well of course he did !!  He laughed and pointed out that some veggies actually do taste good..... and he would teach me (if anyone is interested - the veggies were parsnips)

Dinner was a mix of eating and kissing and suddenly he was pushing my hair back and nibbling (quite firmly) on my neck - my collar bone - licking just under my chin - tickling my neck.  I was so breathless I could barely eat my supper.  Then he would sit back down and continue eating his supper - with this smile on his face!!  cheeky smile - I think he knew what he was doing to me............ 

I have to say I felt like I was back in high school - necking - being aroused - being shy - wanting more and scared by those feelings of wanting more.

When we had finished eating we were sitting just talking and kissing and he was still nibbling on bits of me - and he said he would love to lay me on his bed and nibble without fear of stretching my sweater.  BUT he made no move to "up the ante" .......

AND then I remembered mini me's words ..... if you want to fuck him do it.

Before I could chicken out - I grabbed his hand and said - ok come and nibble without the turtle neck.  

We headed to the bedroom............ I got cold feet half way down the hallway........... I knew what I wanted (and yeah what he wanted) but what if I couldn't go "all the way" (see what I mean about feeling like I was back in high school!!  who says "go all the way" anymore??)

He moved in front of me and started talking to me as we made it the last few feet - he kept saying - "I will only nibble - I will NOT do anything you don't want!!  If I cross a line you stop me you tell me - do you understand??!!!"

I have to say he was true to his word........ there was lots of kissing and nibbling (after my turtle neck came off) My body responded - hell it had been so long since I was laid out on a bed being spoiled again - having my senses aroused to a fever pitch.  BUT not once did he make any move to do more than nibble on my neck - my shoulders and kiss me.  

He pulled my arms above my head - to his headboard - and whispered "would you like your wrists tied to the headboard??" I couldn't answer - I just nodded.  And he kissed me again - deeply passionately - and whispered "one day"

OH WAIT -

I  have to add here - cause I am SO impressed with his sensitivity to my shyness / awkwardness and lack of esteem.... he never turned the lights on - the light from the hallway was enough - shadow figures mixing and mingling.  And he would say quietly whispering in my ear - that no one had a perfect body - and he thought my body was perfect - soft and smelling sweet - my skin tingled he could feel it - how he loved kissing me - burying his head in my skin inhaling my scent............. 

And my body responded to his words - to his touches - to his kisses................. 

And then I was lying naked curled up in his arms - breathless and a bit teary - and he was stroking my back - holding me close - reassuring me - telling me how sexy I was - how absolutely perfect.

As I was leaving - he suggested I might bring my toothbrush next weekend - and I immediately said I didn't think I was ready for that.............. always scared - when will the fear subside???? 

So next weekend looms ahead - it seems so far away - yet it is only 4 days ............. and who knows - I might just pack a toothbrush..............