4 A.M.

That's what the clock was showing when my eyes opened..... trust me I growled.

4 BLOODY A.M.??!!  Usually I find a nice lil fantasy - close my eyes and drift back to sleep - but this morning there was no lil fantasy - only truth.  And sometimes truth is hard and mean and hurts.

At 5 A.M. I got out of bed.  Even Miss Ashes (the cat) thought I was nuts.  I rationalized I used to get up at 5 A.M. every day when I was working........... 

Miss Ashes followed me outside with my coffee - she sat beside me staring at me - I guess - trying to figure out what the hell her human was up to.

There is very little noise at 5 A.M. - oh I did hear a train whistle - far off in the distance - and I wondered 'freight or passenger'........ but it didn't matter really

There is no sun today - well not yet.  Only dark clouds over head.  Sort of suits my mood I guess.

Now I am sitting here at the computer with my coffee - Miss Ashes has gone back to her corner and curled up to sleep - and I wonder when I will find total peace in my heart again and can sleep once again