Tuesday, March 24, 2015

"Outing" and my definition

I have been writing this blog for going on 10 years.  In all that time - to the best of my knowledge - I have never EVER knowingly outed someone.  BUT unfortunately there is still a whole mess of gossip going on around the community that I AM indeed outing people.

Let's take a look at a couple of examples of what I consider outing....

1)  IF I said "I met the most amazing Dom at a munch at Tim Horton's last night.  His name is Jack Smith.  Some of you might know him... he's the amazing electrician who does electric play................ "


2)  IF I called up a parent who is involved in a nasty child custody suit and offered information about their ex partner's involvement in BDMS OR called up an employer and offered information about someone's involvement in BDSM 
 YUP that's outing.... in my opinion

However .......... what I do here on MY blog ...... is talk about generic people - generic events and what *I* did.  Never do I mention real names.  Hell I don't even use the full nickname of anyone I am talking about........

I might say "some young people told me they thought gays were "freaks" and I might voice my disappointment that we haven't evolved past that thinking....... I might mention someone who preaches truth above all else - and that I am pretty sure they are living any number of lies.....but that doesn't out anyone - cause I didn't mention their names.  IF however you have a guilty conscience - shrug - that's your problem not mine.

We all have different definitions for things.  Outing seems to be one those words.  I was concerned that perhaps I had somehow missed the class on what "outing" is... so I have done some research........ asked a number of people ... encouraged a number of people to read here ..... and each and everyone of them said "nope - you are not outing anyone".  

What I believe it is boiling down to is.......... someone has an axe to grind with me... and perhaps I frighten them ?? who knows... but the only way they can "get to me" is by spreading malicious gossip....... and twisting definitions to make it fit their needs.  Unfortunately there are some young impressionable folks out there in the community who are being led astray by this over zealous power hungry group.  And are reaching for the tar and feathers (on behalf of these folks) and threatening to try and run me out of town on a rail.

Do I look worried?

If you live your life honestly - with integrity - I honestly believe the gossip mongers will not be able to bring you down.  Oh they might shake things up a little bit - create drama that will involve a whole mess of good folk........ but in the end - when the dust settles - they will be seen for what they really are.  I honestly don't have to do one damn thing.


  1. I hate that you are having such an awful time with your community. That should be where you go for support, not where you get ostracized. They should be ashamed. Do they have any idea how bad they are making themselves look?

  2. oh kaya - they aren't all bad - the good ones are standing strong beside us.... BUT it makes me sick all this frigging drama - time they all grew up as far as I am concerned


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