Who Knew?

That bracelet thingy above - for those of you who don't know - is called a FitBit.  (and probably just about everyone knows what it is - has one - uses it - and is wondering what MY problem is!)

Anywayyyyyy........

Sir got one a while back to help track his calories/sugars/carbs and exercise in an effort to bring down his sugars.  (side note - I do believe it is working for him!  YAY Fitbit)

Both my daughters got one - and my son in law and Sir's 'niece' and good friends (I know cause they all friend each other on the Fitbit web site)  

I did not have one.  I did not see the point in another "toy"... (see me rolling my eyes)
I would continue eating a healthy food plan and going to the gym 3 days a week - and hopefully the weight would start falling off.

That has been my hope for the last 6 months.

Oh at first I had some success losing a few pounds and a couple of inches all over.  And then it stopped.

I have always felt I was doomed to go through life with this body.  And you can forget all the positive body image propaganda you see going round ......... doesn't work for me.  I absolutely hate this body I have been given........ and hating it more with each passing year.  

Sassy haircuts - a winning smile - and a 'charming' personality just aren't cutting it for me.  I look in the mirror and I see an overweight old lady - and I HATE it.

Last Friday driving to the gym I thought why not buy one of these Fitbit thingies and see if it can show me where I am going wrong... show me how to lose the weight and maybe teach me to love myself.

That's not too much to ask from a 'toy' right?

So - with permission - I bought one.

And the learning curve changed.

Who knew that coffee (my way) has 50 calories - in EACH cup??
Who knew that you are supposed to count that tbsp of jam on your toast? or that tbsp of salad dressing on the boring green salad you are eating for lunch???

Suddenly I am seeing the REAL calories that I am eating - and the amount of calories being burned off with my exercise.............. and like any good detective I think I have found my problem......

So now I am starting to move more than ever - cause coffee has calories that count!  and jam has calories that count!  AND I really do want - more than anything - to start losing REAL weight ............. so I can be proud of my body........ something I have never EVER been.