more lessons learned...

It was a challenge the friday night play party.. the "anything goes" party .. "the play till you drop" party... the leave "safe sane and consensual" at the door play party........ for some reason from the minute i entered the darkly light club and stood around while Sir greeted many of our friends and acquaintances i was somewhere between numb and scared sh*tless. Sir had me naked under a skimpy little black lace dress.... in my cuffs and collar..... my ankle cuffs were chained together so that i would be forced to concentrate on my walking.. small dainty steps..... i find that so frustrating.. so limiting...


i saw S sitting on a sofa with some other friends and i decided to go and say hello....... in my exuberance, i managed to get tangled in the chains and very nearly landed up sitting on her lap.......... my face was red.... and oh lordie was that an omen for what the rest of the evening held for me.....

i watched as subbies were stripped naked and led to the different play stations... i watched as the play began with soft moans of pain.. and louder cries of distress... Sir leaned down and whispered in my ear.. "to the easel littleone and prepare it".......... i picked up the toy bag and went to the "easel" station and laid out neatly the toys i had brought.. taking my time.. imagining the sting and bite of each toy as i laid it out for Sir.. i stood first on one foot then the other waiting for Sir to come to me.. i HATE each beginning in a club.. Sir leaving me standing..amongst the naked subbies and playing Doms... feeling center stage .. lights and eyes upon me.. Finally He was by my side and told me to strip.. His voice was soft and gentle and i began to feel comfortable... but struggled trying to get the sleeves of my dress over the bulky cuffs.. heart pounding looking to Sir for some moral support?? for help?? He only asked what was taking me so long... then the struggle to step onto the ledge of this "easel" with ankles firmly chained... mincing my way up... then feeling my wrists being clipped to the upper most part of the hanging chains.. feeling the pull in my lower legs ...

Then feeling Sir's hands as they moved up and down my back caressing me.. and sensing my mood.. my tenseness.. then His pushing my legs farther apart.. then His hand reaching between my legs.. clipping my slave bell to my clit jewelry .. hearing Him say softly "I will make those bells ring tonite!" and then without another pause feeling the suede flogger swing up between my legs .. catch the bell.. tug it out and pull it back and release it to swing in the space between my legs.. softly tinkling...

A few more swings of the flogger till the bell was swinging on its own .. ringing out to those near by... making some turn and look for the source of the sound.. drawing attention to my "private parts" so blatantly laid open for all to see... and i hung my head...

To get my attention .. Sir slipped His hand between the cheeks of my ass and pinched the tender skin hard.. making me jump and gasp and lift my head .. turn and look at Him.. He had that evil Dom look on His face.. the evil smile that makes my heart pound .. and know there is little or no reprieve for this subbie...... again and again His hand sought out the tenderest spots and pinched.. if i had been able i would have closed my legs.. tightening the muscles... but i couldn't.. i could only stand and endure the pinching......... and then .. THEN!! in my mind's eye i imagined what the others were seeing.. those that were sitting watching......... and my stomach clenched tight... they would not see the pinching fingers.. they would simply see Sir's fingers playing in the hidden ass ...... and their imaginations would develop their own quite different scenario of what was happening....... and i couldn't stand that thought !!!

i turned to Sir and pleaded with Him to stop..... "why" He asked.. and if i had answered "because the pain is too much Sir" He would have eased up.... but the embarassing truth came out.. "because Sir" i said" it is just too embarassing!" and the evil glint became a shining thing..... and His hand went back into the crack of my ass and pinched and worked even harder at bringing me to my knees (figuratively speaking)....... and i squirmed and bit my lip .. and pleaded again with Sir... oh my god the humiliation of it!! People would think.. my god they would think!! that Sir was playing in my ass........... i was absolutely totally completely mortified.

Oh Sir did use the snake whip .. and the flogger .. and the whippy.. and the cane.. and the leather tawse.. and He made sure the bell rang regularily.. tugging on my clit .. making it swing back and forth....... and yes He left welts and droplets of blood in perfect lines across my ass .. from just below the small of my back down my thighs..... BUT what made the biggest impression.. what brought me closest to tears was not the pain of the session.. but the humiliation of what people saw and thought......... and oh what lesson for me !!!

there was more .. so much more i saw and experienced .. but i will leave that for another day .. another entry.............