Things that go bump in the night

When i was a little girl i was scared of things that went bump in the night.. of the bogey men under my bed.. the monsters in my closet.. the trolls under bridges.... Then i grew up.

i am not AS afraid of these things anymore (ok i admit it.. on a dark stormy night i still scrunch up under the blankets and squeeze my eyes shut tight ..... just in case!) Monsters and bogey men and trolls are not real....... right??? WRONG! Trolls are real.. alive and living on the internet. and it is something that makes me angry.. no more than that.. it makes my blood boil.

One such troll approached me via email a month or so ago..... and requested that i link his site to my blog. i wrote back politely and informed him that i had forwarded his email to my Sir and i would await Sir's approval before i linked to a stranger. Sir decided i had enough links on my blog...... and i heard no more from this Dom.

Then on Monday i received an email from this Dom and He informed me that he had linked my blog on his site and then added: " Nothing is required on your behalf, but if you are not already doing so a link back is always appriciated." Polite email..... but bothersome to me.. why ?? i can't explain.. let's just call it a gut feeling. i tend to have a lot of "gut feelings" (they come in especially handy in my job) Anyway i went to take a more thorough look at his site.......... and that is when i discovered that trolls are very much alive and well.

This dom raises my hackles.... He is everything i have come to fear. He is trolling for sweet young submissives/slaves.. someone who will take him in. He is unemployed, homeless and according to one bit i read .. sleeping under a bridge. (now if that doesn't spell troll !!) A lot of questions came to mind.. like how can he maintain a web site if he is unemployed and homeless. He has popped up on a number of blogs i read...widely spreading his personal web.

i don't normally blog about such creatures........ i shrug my shoulders and move along......... but this time i just couldn't move along. i have written to this Dom and informed him that i wish the link to my blog be removed from his site...i do not want .. nor do i need....an affliation with trolls.

There will be no more trolls under any of my bridges!!!

Communication skills

We are always saying in this lifestyle that communication is so important..... but ya know what ?? even experienced folks like Sir and i sometimes screw up majorily on the communication part......

Sir needed some space this weekend to deal with His own emotional overload (concerns about His mom etc) well He wrote all about it in His blog..... and i wanted to be a good subbie and give Him all the space He needed.. i deliberately put my needs and wants on the back burner.. i (kinda) lied to Him and said i was glad He would be at home this weekend that it would give me time to get a whole mess of chores / tasks done around here.. i did my "tough old bird" imitation.. (a good one too !!!) BUT the truth of the matter was.. every time i went by a window i would glance out and see .. IF by some stupid chance .. Sir had changed His mind and had jumped in the car and come........ but all i saw when i looked out was an empty parking space..... and my throat would get tight.. and the tears would threaten to spill over...

and so i would plug ahead with the tasks and chores........... By Saturday afternoon when i spoke with Sir i wanted Him so badly...... but i was so afraid it was MY need.... and i was trying so hard to be strong.. to be that "tough old bird".. so when Sir hinted that maybe i would like to come over for dinner ....... i hummed and hawed and suggested that i still had work to do.. and maybe Sunday would be better.. giving Him another day to rest and relax... He didn't pursue it.. i went ahead and finished all the major work.. including all the flower beds........ and nearly collapsed when i was done.. god i was tired and sore !!!!

Sunday morning i was all ready for Sir ... i kept checking my email.. and there was nothing..more than a few times i checked the phones to make sure they were working.. and they were.. but not a word from Sir.. i couldn't figure out what was wrong.... wasn't He going to invite me on Sunday?? the morning stretched into the afternoon........ and now i was worried.. i hadn't heard from Him.. and He hadn't picked up His emails....... my imagination went into over drive... something HAD to be seriously wrong........ so i text messaged Him.. SILENCE. Finally i picked up the phone and called Him direct....... He was fine (my heart started to beat again... and of course i cried - i always cry when things are fine.. i am a woman after all !!!) Sir sounded down... i got the distinct impression He was disappointed i hadn't come to Him on Saturday ... (colour me shocked ) It was a brief call and when i hung up i sat staring at the computer screen for all of 2 minutes then i went into over drive.......... i fed the cats .. jumped in a shower... grabbed some clothes.. grabbed the strawberries i had bought for Sir and jumped in the car........ thank goodness my lil red honda has two speeds fast and FASTER... i was ringing Sir's doorbell in 30 minutes with my heart pounding..

Sir and i spent just over 2 hours together.. snuggling..eating barbque chicken.. me getting my ass whalloped (just to keep me in line) and laughing together.. i so needed that time with Sir and i am pretty sure He needed that time with me........

i can only hope Sir and i learned more about communication skills this weekend..... and i can only hope that my lil visit helped put a little sun in His day............

God i LOVE this man i call Sir..........

(oh yeah.. yesterday i posted some pics to the photojournal........ Sir would love to have my nipples pierced and is always sending me pics of jewelry - He knows how much i LOVE jewelry and i think is hoping one of these pics will win out over my fear of having it done)

One last Task

i worked hard yesterday .. completing the tasks/chores on my list.....
* the wood furniture and floors were all washed and are sparkling
* the windows were washed and the sunbeams don't have to dance through the dirt
* the laundry was done - including all the curtains
* the gardens were weeded and turned
* the bird feeders filled
* the secret garden asssembled - complete with my pewter fairies......

sounds pretty mundane and boring doesn't it??


But then so is olive oil - mundane that is.........
i have a bottle of it sitting on my kitchen table....... waiting for me to complete one last task....... it is my job to not only take care of Sir's physical needs,.. or to take care of the house so it is sparkling clean and neat and tidy for Him.. but it is also my job to take care of all Sir's toys.....as much as i would like to ignore some of them... and do an "ooooooops look at that !! it dried up and broke" .. my "good" side won't allow it......

Sir's new school master cane that caused all that lovely bruising (which is now an ugly shade of yellow by the way.. one week later !!! ) needs to be lovingly oiled........... ok let's not push it - it needs to be oiled. i have never oiled a cane before.. i have oiled wood furniture.. i have oiled wood paneling.. i have oiled fry pans and cookie sheets and...... well you get the picture.. BUT i have never oiled a cane. At first i kinda thought of grabbing the can of Pam and just spraying the heck out of it...... but had visions of Pam going everywhere but on the cane.. like on my cats!! (and there is nothing worse than a greased cat!!) so i bought the bottle of virgin olive oil....... i actually caught myself wondering on Friday at the grocery store why it is virgin olive oil?? the cane sure isn't virgin anymore.. neither are my ass or tits...... but i bought it anyway (instead of Criscoe oil.. or lard) and now it sits on the kitchen table.......

For some strange reason oiling this cane of Sir's is more daunting a task than washing windows or polishing wood floors...... i never saw my mom in her apron and yellow rubber gloves oiling a cane........and i am wondering how to actually go about it........ i am thinking i will just pour a generous amount on a nice soft cloth.. grab the leather handle .... hold said cane out and rub the oil into it....... over and over .. then polish it with another soft clean cloth.......... and hope that does the trick..........

Maybe it is a good thing Sir isn't here this weekend......... He might just want to try out His newly oiled .. more flexible (it will become more flexible once oiled won't it??) cane on my breasts and ass ............ and try and brighten up the ugly yellow bruising.............

Then again ....... my secret garden is waiting for me.. as is a good book i am reading..... and the sun is out........and ............ ok ok i am off to oil the cane !!!!

Window Washing

Do you remember "spring cleaning"?? My mom always had this apron she wore and her yellow rubber gloves....... i never appreciated the work it involved .. i just remember hating my part of "spring cleaning".. i had to take each book off the many shelves in our house and bang it open and closed a few times then run a duster over it.. to get the winter dust out.

This morning i took down all the curtains in the house.. and got them ready for the laundry........ i had been trying to convince myself the windows weren't all THAT dirty....... but bare windows tend to show how much dirt there really is..

i find it is good therapy to clean....... clean the real life cobwebs as well as the mental ones.... i spent a lot of time wondering how Sir was.... what He was doing.. if He was missing me (as much as i am missing Him)..... i also spent a good bit of time fighting with the cats who discovered opened windows are a wonderful escape hatch to the real world.......

In the brief time that the windows were open and bare .. the world could catch a glimpse into my lil home....... not much to see in here.. looks pretty much like anyone's house.. no whips.. no chains hanging from the rafters.. just a normal house undergoing a normal spring cleaning.......... like when my mom used to do it.. only i don't wear an apron or yellow rubber gloves........ and i don't think i will bang books either........

Life's just like that sometimes....

Sir's mom went into hospital on Tuesday night......... to put it mildly He has had the week from hell..... Last evening i heard the tiredness in His voice.. and the frustration .. and it broke my heart.... There is nothing i can do to make it better........

This morning in my private journal i wrote that i knew He needed time to "fix things"... His mom.. His frustration with the medical system.. that He just needed time...... and i wrote that i could keep myself busy all weekend long..... there are windows to wash.... flower beds to weed... laundry to do.. ohhhh i could keep myself very busy.

This afternoon Sir called me...... He isn't coming. i believe this is the first weekend (other than a couple where i was sick) that Sir and i haven't been together in almost 5 years.. it feels very strange.... i sit and stare out the window... the job list is long and i sit staring out the window......... i miss Him. Simple as that i miss Him.

There will be no sessions this weekend.. no bruises to record....... no orgasms to revel in.. there will be windows to wash.... laundry to do...... flower beds to weed...

After the windows and the laundry and the flower beds.. i will curl up real small and shut my eyes real tight and soon it will be Monday.....

Spoiled rotten

Personally i think i should have this charm added to my collar......... because i AM spoiled rotten. Today i had a doctor's appointment.. to discuss my health issues.......... and my mystery pain.. and the tests i had done a month ago... and i was scared. BUT i didn't tell anyone i was scared.. cause i am a "tough old bird" and face these issues alone .. right??
W R O N G !!!

At 2:30 pm when i was speaking with Sir .. He told me He would see me in 2 hours at the doctor's office. My jaw hit the floor......... now Sir has quite enough on His plate right now.... what with work.. and last night He had to rush His mom into hospital with difficulty breathing......... i really thought this time i should just handle the appointment by myself. But at 4:30 on the dot Sir walked through the office doors and sat down beside me.... and trust me folks when i say i had this nice warm fuzzy feeling.....i just knew everything was gonna be alright.......... Sir was at my side.

And i was spoiled again.. by my doc.......... she took all the time in the world to discuss my medical issues.. possible alternative approaches we can take.. and took the time to make all the bogey men hiding in the shadows disappear!!! i am gonna be just fine......... she will continue to tweak my meds for now.. maybe later in the summer she might try adding one or two other ones......... but for now just a little tweaking and we'll see how it goes........ And as for the mystery pain........ well the test results are somewhere in limbo........ but as i haven't had a flair up since February i am not to worry about it!!!

And then i was spoiled again.. Sir took me out for dinner .. no cooking tonite.. and we sat quietly enjoying dinner and i got to bore Sir to death with talk of work and budgets and principals who are clowns.. and then home again for a nice hot bath..... some computer time.. and then bed.......

i am definitely spoiled rotten.......... and what a lovely feeling it is !!

(for those interested - i have posted some bondage pics to the photojournal)

Smoke and mirrors

As i have stated before..... the internet is a place of smoke and mirrors... Sometimes it is very difficult to separate the truth from fiction... i have been caught once (so far) reading a blog i swore was true........ admittedly at times, things were just a little too good to be true..... but the author was very good at the smoke and mirrors and it didn't take much to pull me back in..... The day that it came to light that this blog was nothing more than fiction...... a fantasy...... i was shocked.. i was angry .. i was disappointed.

Now Cloud and Sir and i tend to read the same blogs.. if we find a new blog that shows promise .. or is interesting... we refer each other to it... This has definitely widened my reading spectrum ....... and the farther afield one goes.. the more chance (i have discovered) of finding smoke and mirror blogs...........

i am beginning to think i am naive... not very blog wise .... i tend to believe what i read.... at least until the drama gets too much to possibly be real.......... and the funny thing is........ i get angry when i discover that someone i have been reading has been lying all the time....... i feel conned.. i feel betrayed.. i feel cheated. And the very worst part of all this.. i start to question every thing i read.......... truth or fiction??? (oh there are some that i know in my heart of hearts are real........ but the others??)

And so dear hearts.. i have edited my links of blogs i read......... i have cut them down to a small handful of REAL people blogs...... (a couple have been removed because they have taken their blogs down NOT because they weren't real)

Smoke and mirrors ...... the great fraud of the 21st century..........

"wickedness within" theory

i have a public image (don't we all??) where i sit straight, knees firmly together, hands folded in my lap - all very prim and proper. i NEVER use four letter words, and parts of the body are discussed (when absolutely necessary) with socially acceptable words such as "breast" or "vagina"........

But inside of me is this "other me" what i call the wicked me.. it doesn't sit straight prim and proper.. this other me uses words like - ok ok i still use breasts - but i also use words like "pussy" or "cunt" or "cock"....... this other me fantasizes and writes about dark things.. like floggings and bondage and sex galore.. and this other me rarely if ever blushes..... this other me gives blow jobs and kneels and offers her ass to Sir... and loves every minute of it...........

The big question is really .. how does one find the "wickedness inside" and let it out?? New submissives (ok ok.. yeah sometimes old submissives too ) are sometimes shocked and embarassed and yeah maybe even scared of the nature of the beast within. How do you blend these two natures together?? Is it even possible???

There is a way .. you know.. to meld the two....... all it takes is one good Dominant / Master or Sir.... someone to "order" the behaviours ......... "Strip" .. "Present"... "bend over" "service Me" simple orders given........ freedom to be who and what we really desire to be.............cause now it is not us.. we are only doing as we were ordered to do......it makes things so much easier !! Not my will but His......... and so we can retain the "good girl" image ... and still have all the fantasizes come true...........

So .. for those Dominants out there who are soft and gentle and have no wish to "push" Their submissive's limits too hard ........... please stop for a minute and think......... Aren't You perhaps just giving her permission .. the permission she so badly needs....... to bring out the wickedness within........ and in the end....... won't You have helped free a spirit that needs to be free.. broken the bonds that held her back..............and isn't that truly a good and wonderful thing???

Short and sweet

i can't believe the week is almost over!!! AND here in the Great White North we have a long weekend ........ 3 whole days of rest and relaxation........ mind you any plans of working outside are on hold...... we have had days and days of rain.. and more still to come... oh well sometimes an enforced rest is a good thing !!!

Tonight Sir and i are having a small intimate get together here at the house. i am excited as one couple who are coming are brand new to the lifestyle (kind of) and they wanted to try out our playroom .. especially the cross. The sub is extremely nervous as she has never played anywhere but in the safety of her own bedroom ...... the Dom may be a bit nervous too........ but hey we all know Doms and They seldom .. if EVER.. admit to being nervous or anxious !!! (cheeky grin) ... i touched base with the submissive this week .. just to try and help her relax a little bit.. and reassure her nothing "bad" is gonna happen.. ohhhhhhh lots of bad stuff is gonna happen.. but GOOD bad stuff if you know what i mean!! i want to post more about my theory of "the wicked girl we have inside" later this weekend.........

Another friend.. Cloud... our switch friend... is supposed to drop by as well......... Sir has something up His sleeve over this evening..... and i am so curious to find out what it is...

And talking about switches makes me think about a completely different kind of switch..... i have posted a dreamy artist's rendition of my wish for a good switching....

The fine art of switching part 2

Sir was not to be undone by the willow switch. Sir and i and a couple of BDSM friends had been out shopping earlier in the day for Sir's great desire - a School Master Cane. So when the switching had left me hanging (literally and figuratively) Sir picked up THE cane. One stroke of the cane.. and the words that poured out of my mouth !!!! trust me when i say .. i did not use the polite " stop mother blankety blank blank"........... i was hopping from one foot to the other and making sure Sir understood that i really DO HATE canes!!

He was wickedly evil with the use of that cane.......... Sir would rest the cane across my ass.. let it sink in where the stroke was going to land........ and then the hit! i would dance and prance and yip that all i wanted was to be able to rub my stinging ass cheeks.... (no such luck as my arms were cuffed and suspended quite nicely from the chains in the ceiling)

Oh and Sir is a kind and loving Sir.. He watched this littleone cry and prance and hop and dance a jig from the cane......... and offered quite nicely to switch to the other new toy He had purchased - what i call the wooden sword...........

i think i would have agreed to just about anything at that point.......... just to have the caning come to an end..... Now the cane stings .. stings deep into the ass area.......... the wooden sword thumped with great force into my now stinging ass....... i have no idea how many times the sword was used .. i have no idea how long it was before i saw Sir stoop and pick up the cane once more............

This time Sir slide His free arm around my middle.......fingers sliding between my legs finding my wetness and just resting there... teasingly soft touches.. and then the whallop of the cane and i lurched forward to impale myself on Sir's fingers..... with each strike of the cane i would dance and grind myself harder and harder onto Sir's fingers......... how embarassing is that??!!! almost like a dog humping.... over and over the cane would strike and i would dance away on Sir's fingers.. until i was soaking Sir and the rug.... and i was crying out for permission to cum.................

Sir offered me a choice of toy to finish off the session....... i asked for the whip.... and the fairies came and held my hand and took me dancing along the rainbow higher and higher with each strike of the whip....... like skipping rope.. leaping and turning and laughing and flying.........

The fine art of switching.....

Step one: collect some nice willow branches approximately 2 feet to 3 feet long

Step two: soak willow branches in nice warm water.. and let submissive stew in anticipation.....

please note .. willow branches float in water... i used a pumice stone to weight them down.....

Step 3: use willow branches on stewed submissive......

now here is where the problems started... i gritted my teeth and prepared for the first strike....strike one.. i looked back over my shoulder to see if Sir was deliberately going slow and easy...... He looked at me..... if i had to rate the strike - where 10 is worst and 1 is ho hum.. it would have been a 1.......... Sir put a little bit more behind the next swing... and Strike 2 rated ummmmm maybe a 3..... i looked at Sir.. Sir looked at me.. and we both looked a little confused........ Strike 3 4 5 and 6 actually made me do a little jig... Sir stopped to see how i was doing........ i said .. "it feels a little bit like the buggy whip.. stingy and ouchy.." and then i asked.. "are there any welts???" (it didn't feel like welt material.. but hey .. one never knows right??) Sir replied my ass looked pretty much like it usually does during a whipping.......... i sighed... We were both confused.. He said "maybe I am not doing it right" i repeated what Raheretic had said in the comment section...... and said that Sir was doing it exactly right........ i filled up with tears...... remember that vital ingredient of "having subbie stew in anticipation"?? well i had stewed a little too much i guess....

This is what my ass looked like following the switching...........

It wasn't a total waste .. tomorrow i will write about the rest of the session....

in the mean time a friend is going to find some more willow branches............... fresher might help??

Opinions and Ideas

i have a couple of issues that are bugging me that i need to vent about.......... not rant .. so you don't have to run and hide.. but i do need to vent !!!

In this community of BDSM folk there are such kaleidoscopes of colours and thoughts and philosophies "your kink .. my kink" has become my mantra. i may not understand your fetish/your kink but i will defend your right to have it.

Once upon a time there were a group of submissives who met regularily for support and discussion and fun. For awhile it became their driving force to have a "black list" of Doms that were dangerous or abusive. A couple of us "older" subbies struggled with the idea... who was to set up such a list?? Who defined what was abusive or not?? And then one night at a club .. a Dom lambasted my Sir for being too hard on me!! He had been using the paddle just the way i LOVED it.. hard tap tap tap and then one BIG whallop! Hang on a second here.. Sir was doing it just right - by OUR standards. Maybe not yours .. but most definitely by Ours !!! The other Dom backed off with a shrug of His shoulders when He realized i was angry.. not Sir but me!! the poor lil subbie at the end of that paddle who "needed defending??!!" (truthfully folks .. those of you who have been reading me for a while now........ do i look like a subbie who needs defending??!!! cheeky grin) The "black list" went the way of the dodo bird.. as did the group if truth be told.

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i learned last evening that i have managed to hurt the feelings of someone i met a couple of times. And i have to admit i have spent a good part of the night stewing over it. It is NOT my nature to want to hurt anyone....... it is NOT my nature to condemn anyone for their beliefs or philosophies or needs or KINK. It IS my nature to try and understand where they are coming from.. to have a better grasp on their philosophy .. it doesn't mean i will accept it as mine (was that the hope ??) or that i will even condone it....... but i most definitely would NOT condemn the person outright for their belief system !!! So why is it that i feel condemned now?? why is it i feel that i have been slapped down??? maybe cause i have been??? Some people were never meant to see eye to eye over anything... there are those who do NOT believe in homosexual relationships...... who do not believe that there should be female Dommes.... there are those who believe that submissives should be strong fiercely independent people .. there are those who firmly believe in your right to be anything you wish to be .. from doormat to table to puppy or pony.

i am going to say this once .. for prosterity.. once and only once (i hope.. at my age i do tend to forget i said something!!!) i will defend everyone's right to live this life in any way that fits their needs....... it does not mean i have to embrace it as my own...... and it most definitely does not mean i dislike you...... pleaseeeeeeeee life is just too short for that!

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Now on to more fun thoughts.......... it is Friday....... the willow switches have been cut according to swan's Master's instructions....... they sit in a vase (so the cats will stop playing them !!) until Sir arrives this afternoon......... then they will - sometime over the weekend - i hope - be put in a nice warm bath .. ready for the moment of truth.......... a bunch of baby rattlesnakes eh swan?? well time will tell ......

Help requested

On Sunday afternoon Sir and i went for a walk with some friends. Along the way we passed by a woman doing some yard work.. and wouldn't you know it she had trimmed her willow tree and had put some branches out for the garbage. Truthfully i haven't a clue what got into me...... honest i don't !!! But i stopped and picked up a handful of branches and brought them home.

Now i have these branches sitting in my secret garden........ every time i go outside to work in the gardens i see them. i swear they are calling to me!!! whispering to me!!! Last evening i picked them up and ran my hands down them.. rubbing all the dead leaves off. i played with them .. waving them around - more like a fairy wand rather than a switch. i kept wondering what one needed to do to make them into willow switches... or are they already willow switches - by virtue of the fact they are cut and willow branches??

i am probably gonna hate myself for asking this......... BUT ....... has anyone ever used a switch?? had a switch used on them??? Can you just use them cut straight from the tree like the ones i have??? or do i need to do something to them to make them switches???

i even googled "willow switches" and got everything BUT what i was looking for......... Sir bought a book entitled The Better Built Bondage Book- a great resource for building your own toys and equipment....... so i went and pulled it out hoping that there would be instructions in it for willow switches....... BUT...... nothing!

i thought maybe i could just tape the bottom bits together and make a handle of sorts for Sir.... i thought maybe i should just toss them out in the garbage (tomorrow is garbage day) and maybe my ass would thank me ......... but somehow or other i didn't...... like i said above...... they keep whispering my name.............

So folks .........anyone got any suggestions what i do now?? (besides throw them out quick before Sir arrives)

Inquiring Minds

i received a comment on this weekend's blog......... and i don't know why but i really thought it deserved an answer here in the public eye..
BloodyCorpse said...
Don't you think that using "Who links to me?" is a bit of an invasion of privacy? I mean if I were to link to someone I don't know if I'd really want it advertised to everyone right at that very second.

i discovered quite by accident one day that someone had put a link on their blog to The Journey. At first i was startled...... then i was pleased.. then i was curious. i couldn't understand why someone would put up a link without a "by your leave". It seemed to me a little bit of an invasion of MY privacy.

Then i discovered the "who links to me" link... and put it up on my blog. This link allows me to see who else has linked to The Journey. Is that an invasion of their privacy??? Maybe....... truthfully i hadn't thought about that. BUT then if they were concerned about their privacy they wouldn't have linked to my blog would they have?? At least not without asking me first.

Now please!! if you have linked to my blog and haven't asked me if you could...... don't fuss and bother about it.... i have long since forgotten about my initial shock at finding myself linked on various blogs. (actually i now find it quite an ego booster)......... This blog post is just to answer Bloodycorpse's comment about invasion of privacy.

Seems to me turn about is fair play.

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on a happier note........ i have been working out in my gardens.. digging them .. fertilizing them and totally enjoying the feel of the earth under my feet. (ughhhhhh has anyone else noticed the size of the juicy worms this spring??!!!)
And with my thoughts turning to all things spring and flowers.. i decided to post some pictures on my photojournal......... enjoy!!!

Rambling Road

On April 28th 2005 i started this journal........ i had no idea where it would go.... or if - like so many others - i would take it down by the first anniversary.......... Last weekend the journey got a little bumpy.. a little rough.. and i needed to take some time to back away from both the public and private sides of my life .. to take a deep long look at who i was.. where i was going and the biggest question .. WHY.

i was intensely sad last weekend and part of this week - not depressed! - but sad.......life does not always give us what we want........ and strange as this may sound coming from someone who is posting about their life .. i am an intensely private person... what i share here in The Journey .. is a portion of a portion of my life. So i guess at times when one tries to view my life .. it is a bit like looking a jigsaw puzzle with patches missing.......

i believe Sir and i have found O/our way back to journey we set out on together nearly 5 years ago. It was just a speed bump in the road of life... ok i'll admit.. it was a little bigger speed bump than most.. but nevertheless still just a speed bump.

And now i am ready to start blogging for the second year....... i only ask that you - dear readers - keep in mind this is my "public journey" (as i said in the first blog of The Journey) ... small peeks into the private life of a collared submissive.

(just for fun .. i have posted some pics to my photojournal)

thank you

i just wanted to thank everyone for your thoughts and kind words of encouragement.........

i haven't been reading the blogs.. or answering the comments here on my own blog and i apologise........ but i really do need time to find the woman i was and lost.......... an email i received pointed out my better traits.. traits i think i had lost for a brief time..... i will be that woman again........ i will !

Mea Culpa

For now i am trying to find my center... my focus..

If you are interested in more details please read Sir’s Place