ooops that should have read D/s not BS (as in Bullshit)
It's difficult to look on D/s now and not see it more as bullshit. However I kinda challenged myself to draw a picture / or maybe plans on what a healthy D/s relationship should look like......... because I know - KNOW - some folks have a healthy D/s relationship and it works -- for them -- for years............ though I must admit I would love to see a 24/7 D/s relationship that works for ...... forever!! Can't think of - or find too many of them.... but if you are reading this and have had a D/s relationship that works well and has been in existence for years (like more than 15 years) do step up and tell me.....
See I keep wondering what went wrong with our D/s (I have to say "our" cause you just can't have a D/s without the D -- or the s part of the equation).
I wanted D/s - wanted it bad!! Said I could handle it !! It was just what I wanted. It made perfect sense to me - one person in charge one person following - no chance of bickering right ???!!! Things would run smoothly right???
D/s seems to come with rules. The rules can be short and sweet or long and tedious. BUT I believe if rule #1 really is "The Dom is always right" you got a problem - a big problem. Cause no one person is ever always right. AND I believe when wrong the Dom - as much as the sub - should apologise. Not cloak themselves in the Dom title and pretend it didn't happen.
BUT this entry was not supposed to be about the ills of D/s - but what I imagine a good strong D/s relationship should look like / sound like/ be like.
I believe this D/s relationship should be more a symbiotic relationship - each depending on the other -- encouraging the other -- challenging the other -- growing and expanding together.
I believe that there should be separateness in their togetherness - a time for both to explore and learn and grow. I believe there should be a sharing of those times. I believe that the Dom should be strong enough to listen to their submissive and hear -- really HEAR -- what she has to offer.
I believe the submissive should trust and value and respect and maybe even love her Dominant. She should not come to fear him because of the rules - or the inconsistencies. I believe under the right conditions a submissive would walk through fire to please her Dominant - and know he would do the same for her.
I believe there should be "free times" when the submissive can speak her mind without fear of punishments or reprisals. I believe the Dominant should be consistent and honest and loving and trustworthy.
I believe that more than rules - they should have a code for both to live by. A code that stipulates Honesty above all else -- Trust -- Respect.
So that should the day come when -- for whatever reason -- the relationship ends -- neither one is left feeling less worthy -- less trusted. Where each feels they have grown and learned and come away a better person.
D/s should be this ^^^^^^