Sunday, August 14, 2011

Worry Wart



No I mean it "just shoot me now" pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee... and put me out of my misery

Misery I might add - brought on totally and completely by myself....... no help from others... all by myself.  It seems I am really good at doing stuff "all by myself"..... sigh.. and worrying tops the list.

I am worried about the mystery pains that still haunt my belly - and yes yes I have talked to the new specialist - well his office - and they say it will be at least another month before the tests.

I am worried about eldest daughter and this reconciliation with her hubbie - that is on again off again........ and looks for all the life of me like divorce is looming........... and despite her misguided beliefs it also looks like she might just loose her shirt ..so yeah I am worried.

I am worried  when I don't hear from W for hours and hours........ especially in the evenings when we seem to correspond more than during the day........ Last night I heard nothing from him from 4 till 12something........... yeah yeah I know - it wasn't days and days...... it was ONLY 8+ hours - but it worried me ... sick.......... and buggered up my sleep - at least until I finally heard from him......... 

I worry about submissives who believe they are invincible - who have all the right safety measures in place - BUT don't use them........... I have been down this road so many damn times........ picking up the pieces after everything goes to hell in a hand basket ..............


I worry about scheduling all the tasks I still have to complete before work starts ... from finishing lessons - to meeting with my teacher - to getting the car maintenance work done - to getting the car rust proofed - I worry about starting back to work and the changes that await me......... I think I get a "gold star" in the worry department!!

Just shoot me now - ok?? cause trust me I have tried to stop worrying... I have tried to take a 'laisser faire' attitude.. I have tried sleeping pills and anti-anxiety pills and still I worry ............. a quick and painless death would be preferable to all this worrying.......

8 comments:

Sir said...

I am so sorry to have been one of your list of worries.

But if you didn't worry I would get worried.

W

Buffalo said...

I don't worry. I just quietly contemplate worse case scenarios.

Ordalie said...

Buffalo is a man of wisdom!

"meeting with my teacher"????
Would you mind explaining who that teacher is and what he is supposed to do?

viemoira said...

Amen to that - worrying is my very worst fault and just think of all the time and energy it wastes... I am practicing very hard to focus on here and now instead of what ifs but that sometimes takes all my energy too.

Ordalie said...

Morningstar, you didn't answer my last question although it was a genuine one since I'm interested in knowing what teachers are up against in other countries.

morningstar said...

Ordalie -

I am fully aware I did not answer your question. I had planned on doing a bit of a blog on it.... but other things came to mind - so I put it on the back burner. Trust me I will answer your question.. just give me time.

Ordalie said...

As I read again my comment, I'm ashamed it sounds like a teacher's question in a classroom. Sorry, Morningstar!

Ordalie said...

By the way, I sent my sister your story about ants and on the phone we both collapsed in giggles!