Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Crash and burn...........


It happens - I have talked about it here before..... the old "crash and burn" syndrome.

It usually follows a night of hard play and harder emotions... and sometime in the next day or so I am suddenly aware I am not fit for public consumption...........

Monday I was tired - so tired  and distracted.  But I chugged along like the little engine who could - tidying up the "stuff" from the trip - doing laundry/ironing - staying away from the pc and distractions - keeping the house quiet - so very quiet.  

Then yesterday after spending two hours playing "teacher" with middle grandson (doing the Kindergarten tutoring) my body was shaking from the sheer effort of staying on an even keel. I went for our coffee klutch with W and drakor ..... and my eyes were so heavy.. and the men's discussions - debates?? - arguments?? got under my skin.... and I felt like I might explode (came close a few times) ........ 


When I am like this - it is as though every inch of my body is electrified.. every noise sounds like a cannon going off in my head.... every whisper of a touch burns my skin...my blood flows like molten lava through my veins..... I want to scream.  


Some call it sub drop - honestly I don't know what to call it anymore.... I just know when I am going through those days of "crash and burn" I wonder if I ever want to feel the cut of a knife - or the sting of a whip ever again...........

And then it passes - and my body starts its climb back up.... and it starts to crave - to visualize the next scene - the next cut - the next sting of the whip........ my world rights itself on its axis and life goes on.............

1 comment:

Buffalo said...

Kind of like being a grumpy baby that doesn't want to take a nap?