Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Diplomacy

Many - many - years ago when I was a new teacher, I had a principal tell me that the only weak spot I had was diplomacy. I tended to say what was on my mind, and damn the consequences.

Over the years - I like to think I worked on the diplomacy - but truth be told it probably came with experience and age.

But my brand of diplomacy is more along the lines of saying nothing. Ya know .. "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all".

Just because I didn't say what I was thinking - didn't mean I wasn't thinking.... cause oh dear god was I !!!

Over these last 6 months or so, I have been encouraged - more than once - to say what was on my mind. Many many times I wanted to....... but didn't because it seemed to me to be none of my business. And once or twice when I was pushed to speak out.. the words came out all tumbled up and messed up and not really what I meant.

And I have discovered that I don't much like speaking my mind. It seems to me that it causes hurt feelings. Something I didn't grasp all those many years ago when diplomacy was suggested.

I tried diplomatically to say something to a friend a day or so ago...... and I fear I have hurt their feelings. Quite truthfully I would rather be hurt.. than hurt.

I think I am going back to the say nothing philosophy...... and hope that my friend will forgive my blunt honesty.

1 comment:

anna said...

Communication is important. Maybe you should check with the friend and find out if they've been hurt by your comments. If they have, at least you'll have the opportunity to sort through things.

Good luck. I hope all is ok with you and your friend.