Friday, March 13, 2009

And now for something completely different.......

i was cleaning out my files this week - looking for all the tax information.. and i went through a file i have from way back when...... on BDSM information... and i came across this "red necks for Doms" ........ i have no idea who to give credit to.. but it isn't mine !!

(you may have already read these.......... but if not.. enjoy)




If you're a dom whose idea of the "perfect scene" is a Bud Lite commercial at half time - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "red bottom" is one of them there "foreign" beers - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "a paddling" is something you do when the trolling motor on your bass boat runs out of gas - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "a slave contract" is a right you lost in the War of Northern Aggression - You ain't

If you're a domme who thinks that "a cock ring" is a place for fighting chickens - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "suspension" is something that holds up your pants - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks "bondage" is a series of spy movies - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "ball gag" is a joke about sports - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "stocks" are something rich people invest in - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "crop" is this autumn's wheat harvest - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "topping" is what Dairy Queen puts on your banana split - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "nipple clamps" are plumber's tools - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that orgasm is the art of Japanese paper folding - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that handcuffs come in only two styles: fur-lined and miniature key chain - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "blind folding" is packing away your duck blind at the end of hunting season - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "yoke" is something you dip your toast into each morning - You ain't

If you're a domme who thinks that C&BT is a place where you'd like to open a savings account - You ain't.

That's all folks !!!!!


(for now)


3 comments:

CLoud said...

SO where do I pick up my hammock?

anna said...

"Orgasm is the art of Japanese paper folding"... LMAO - that one was my personal favourite.

SPANKEDHORTIC said...

And from the other end I found this at the Australian amateur BDSM site Collar N cuffs. It is a test for guys to find out if they are a red necked sub.

You might be a Redneck sub if.....


---- You're supposed to always answer: “Damn straight Mistress!”

---- You find all kinds of neat toy things at ARMY SURPLUS.

--- You got in the doghouse for using the St. George’s Cross to quarter a deer.

---- Your sissification program even includes drinking imported beer.

---- A quality, trusting relationship means she don’t get jealous if you got a black eye.

---- To test the rumors, you’ve played Waylon Jennings backwards.

---- Your domme’s costumes really look great on her because the camouflage pattern is always for the right season.

Prefectdt