Friday, August 15, 2008

Sealing Wax



"The time has come the walrus said

To talk of many things of shoes and ships and sealing wax
of cabbages and kings"

(actually that quote might do better on a bouncing ball day......... but........ this is my blog and i decided it fits quite nicely on today's blog about wax)

Sir was in a mood the other night.... it happens from time to time.. when i just start to think that His life is too busy for small tasks to keep me focused.. BANG ! He comes up with an "oh my god - You have got to be kidding " task......... which happened yesterday...

i was to slip the clamps on my pussy lips on the hour every hour and leave them on for 20 minutes....... didn't matter what it was i was doing on the hour they were to be clamped on.. and removed after 20 minutes........

How nice that Mother Nature co-operated and gave us a day of sunshine and lollipops.. well sunshine !! i curled up outside in my secret garden with my pillows.. my coffee.. my book.. my cats.. and the umbrella..oh yeah.. and the clamps... and settled in for a nice long day of lazy sunning.

It is not as difficult to tolerate clamps for 20 minutes when one is reclining outside in the sunshine - not moving....... well it is easier than say having to vacuum the house - which i can only do with the pet attachment as the damn new vacuum is broken and the pet attachment is the only thing that works.. and it can only be used when one is on their hands and knees..

So there i was.. sitting outside in the sunshine... slipping the clamps on for 20 minutes every hour on the hour.. wiggling a bit .. cause trust me after a couple of clampings it starts to hurt !!! When i glanced down at my legs - to check out the tanning process - and egads!!! there was hair... yucky hair !!! Time to shave...........

Well not right at that point.. i was just too comfy curled up in the sunshine .. purring like a contented cat....... the hair could wait.........

BUT i am funny that way - plant a thought in my head and it niggles away in my brain.. not letting me rest.. niggle niggle niggle...

And so around noon.. i decided .. after the 12 noon clamping .. i would go do something about the hair on my legs.... cause after all - only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noon day sun !!!

At exactly 12:20 i got out the new pot of wax....... cause after reading kaya's blog on waxing (actually that should have put me off the idea completely) and after having baby daughter and her entourage here waxing legs the night before the wedding..... and because i had seen this commercial on TV for leg wax that smelled like gardenias.. and i LOVE the scent of gardenias..... and because they swear waxing one's legs lasts approximately 4 weeks.. i had gone out and purchased a tub of leg wax......... that smells like gardenias !!

So anyway......... at 12:20 i am reading the instructions and popping the pot of wax in the microwave... getting the thermometer tester.. the wooden applicator and paper towels all ready for the BIG waxing event.......... and i was thinking .. as i hadn't told anyone i was gonna try this.. if it was as bad as some say.. i would simply go find the razor and forget i ever thought about waxing.............

Ok so everything was set and ready.. the kitchen was starting to smell like gardenias.. and i took my first blob of hot wax .. wrapped it around the wooden applicator much like rolling maple taffy around a stick and started to slather it on the upper portion of my leg - around the knee.

The first thought i had was how nice it felt.......... and then i thought ... this isn't bad at all.. god.. it is better than when Sir does hot wax on me !!! not nearly as burning hot.. and much much more soothing........

One must not wait less than 20 seconds or more than 60 seconds to remove it.. the suggestion is to roll up a small amount of wax at the bottom of the strip and then .. just rip it upwards..........

i will admit i kinda held my breath as i ripped upwards.......... but it really honestly wasn't that bad...... much like ripping off a band aid - if done quickly enough it only hurts for a minute or two.........

The strip of wax off.. in my hand.. i turned it over to see if it actually worked............


and yup it had....

how disgusting is that?? !!! pokey hair sticking out of a nice fresh strip of gardenia smelling wax..

But now i was on a roll.. layer a strip of wax.. wait 20 - 30 seconds and rip it off.. taking all the nasty pokey hair off with it........... YAY !!! and it is gonna last for 4 weeks.. double YAY!!!

It's all going along like a house on fire.... when i suddenly remembered the time.. it was coming on for 1pm... and time to put the clamps back on......... now does that seem fair to anyone else?? waxing AND clamps?? god i am such a masochist !!!

So at 1 sharp the clamps went on for the 5th consecutive time.. it was getting harder and harder to find space that hadn't been already been clamped... cause trust me when i say.. clamps on pussy lips bruises some........

And i have to add here... that when i saw this picture of my hairy pussy.. i couldn't help but think that Sir is gonna get all enthusiastic about waxing off my cunt hair............. and oh dear god.. i just don't think that is a good idea .. for any number of reasons !!!!

Anyway.......... clamps on.. time to get back to the job at hand and get it finished.. wax on .. wax off.. hair gone... i was really starting to get into this zen feeling......... would have worked better if i hadn't had the clamps tugging at my pussy though!!!

Finally i was finished.. with the clamps AND the waxing.........

wrapped up all the garbage and tossed it .. with maybe one thought or two about how environmentally friendly used leg wax with pokey hair in it was.......

slathered on the soothing cooling lotion - cause trust me when i say - the legs were looking nasty..... all bumpy and rashy..........

and back outside to curl up in the sun....... (not the legs though - they warn about sun exposure after waxing!!)

Now am i sold on the idea of leg waxing? i'll let you know in 4 weeks - if it lasts 4 weeks.. cause truthfully .. the time involved was a bit daunting.. much quicker to shave......... but then shaving only lasts a couple of days or so....... so yeah if it lasts 4 weeks or close to it.. i am sold !!!

Only thing is.. next time i do it.. i don't think i want clamping as part of the ritual thank you very much..........

And for those of you interested... the last clamping session was 8 pm.. almost 12 hours after the first one.......... today.. my pussy lips are still a bit swollen and bruised... which just tends to focus my mind on that particular area of the body........ and there is nothing wrong with that !!! trust me............

1 comment:

Buffalo said...

Singe them off with a propane torch. That would be quick.