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Sometimes life can be a test.... no pass or fail - just a try harder....

For me life has been testy these past few weeks... the reasons aren't really important here and now.. those that need to... know.. the rest.. shrug.. you can guess.. or not.

Sir is away this weekend at a train show... it has been marked on the calendar for months... i have had flip flop emotions over it..... First i was sad.... then .. over the last week or so .. i was glad.. it would give me time to re-coup.. to recharge - to sort things out.......

Then i was sad again.. last weekend brought us together in a way that hasn't happened in a long long time..... and i wanted more... more .. more please.... silly me !!! Dreams can't be repeated ........ not easily.. and most definitely not identically...

Sir came to me yesterday.. i was cranky and bitchy.. because it was so hard to see Him and know He was leaving me again in only a couple of hours.. and maybe He wouldn't be back till god only knew when....

Sometime around half past midnight - snug in my bed - i was pushed over onto my back.. my legs forced open.. through sleepy half opened eyes i saw Sir smiling down on me.. i pushed at Him.. i didn't want sex.. did i have a say ?? nope.. never do... rough kinky sex.. hurting.. in and out.. beg for an orgasm... sloppy wet spot on the sheets... running my hands over Sir's 'furry' chest.. finding a nipple - bad bad subbie.. tweaking the nipple smiling a little as He glared at me.. sleepy again...........

Up early this morning.. Sir had to go.. back to the trains.. and then off to the Fort for an unexpected photo shoot....... more time away from me.. from U/us...
Then .. a phone call.. surprise !! Sir knowing i am lonely.. knowing i am missing Him.. i managed to choke out how hard it is.. not having Him on the weekend.. our only time together.. His sympathetic "I know"........ and a promise... He will come home to me.. as early as He can (not that early 7:30ish) and take me out to dinner... anywhere i want to go... time for U/us together alone.. shut out the world.. some time just for us... no one else... shut out the world..

Sometimes this life.. this subbie stuff... is a test.. no pass or fail - just try harder... love and be loved...