i had a conversation last evening with a submissive friend who was telling me about a Dominant who is infatuated with him... This Dominant wants him to give up everything and follow Him... (maybe HE has a Jesus complex?? ) This Dominant wants him to follow to Florida and to Europe. This Dominant wants him to be naked .. (doesn't that make air travel a little tricky??)
Now i must add right up front .. these discussions/desires/requests have all been made on line........ they have not even met for a cup of coffee.
My submissive friend said - "if i was 20 again i would do it". i sat there with my jaw on the floor. (i was repeating my mantra - the net is all smoke and mirrors!) And i couldn't help but wonder what happened to the check lists and the hard limit lists.. and the contracts.. and all those good things some submissives need to have.
Now don't get me wrong........ i believe in risk takers - i teach kiddies to BE risk takers at school........ BUT there are calculated risks and then there are just plain fool hardy risks. i don't teach fool hardy risk taking... and i am not much of a risk taker.. The biggest risk i ever took (i think) was to leave a stable job to start a program at the school i am at now... i took the new job on a handshake.. no terms agreed.. no salary discussed.. just a dangling carrot of a new challenge...... and i took it. THAT was some risk for me !! As big as they get. And it worked out fine.. cause here i still am some 20 years later......
BUT to just leave everything behind and follow some stranger???
That brings me back to the post the other day about where are the Dom blogs.. and "dating" sites for BDSMers... and all the wiggly jiggly bits that people use to advertise who they are.
i find it extremely difficult to find 'real people' on line...... i have been burnt more than once.. (believing someone was real - based on the words they wrote) i have grown up and become net savy ( a new form of street smart !! i wasn't very street smart either when i was younger.)
And if someone wants to open their eyes it really isn't too difficult to pick out the real ones from the fakes.. and i don't know.. having someone tell me he is infatuated with me after a couple of emails and chats.. and wants me to give up everything and follow him........ wellllllllllll that has a strong smell to it.. but then maybe i am a cynic.... i know i am NOT a risk taker .. that's for sure !!!
On the other hand.... Sir gave me permission to start a search for a new slave boy or slave girl.... and i have been diligently looking........ i don't agree that the first meet be a play session.. i don't agree the first meet be a private meet.. i insist that the first meeting be vanilla - in a very public venue !! i used to do that to protect myself as a submissive......... now i find i am doing it to protect Sir and yes myself.. from nut job submissives.. they do exist you know !!! i insist on check lists being done.. and - because i learned from the house boy experience - i am VERY clear on what our needs are.. and what they aren't... and how the new one is to fit into our lifestyle .. not us into theirs.
For me.. risk taking is reaching out into the void that is the net and looking for someone new .. first requirement is - he/she had better be 'real' .... be human.. have faults and bumps and bruises and not be living ....or expecting Sir and i to weave... a fantasy world.........
Risk takers............. i wish them well....... but i think i will stay right where i am .. safe and sound and grounded....... and look for people who don't take HUGE risks.. but who are willing to step up and out .. and risk ........ just a little bit.