Wednesday, December 19, 2007


i know i know i promised to get back to the season.. to Christmas.. to stop with the discussions of boring mundane things like BDSM and safe and sane (well ok skip the sane - nothing we do is really "sane")........

But something came through my email yesterday that made me sit up and take notice..and brought back all those questions i have about "who's the expert" "who are we really hiring to give demos and lectures"

The email (which i will not quote as it was from a private mailing list) set out yet again an example of someone who was hired by a reputable large BDSM community to give a course on percussion play.

It turns out that this group had a demo with an 'expert' on punching, kicking, kneeing, and slapping techniques. AND it turned out that some more experienced people in the audience were shocked to see the spine as a target, the kidneys as a target, and the knee area. In fact one member of the audience was an accredited AAU national karate coach and he stated that some of the techniques were not allowed at national level competitions due to the high level of damage and danger to the recipient.

So i ask again.. who are these "experts" that we hire to give demos?? It makes me wonder why the karate coach wasn't giving the demo - don't you wonder?? The karate coach did raise questions and point out dangers - BUT who was the expert?
Are we as a community so anxious to put on demos.. the newbies so anxious to learn... that we throw caution to the wind?? Do we welcome anyone who claims to be an expert with open arms not bothering to check credentials?? But then what credentials can we check?? what BDSM training schools do you know of?? What Master programs are there ?? PHD programs?? (ok ok i admit i am going from the ridiculous to the sublime........ but still??!!)

Years of experience ........ that's what we go by....... i say i have 15 years experience in the lifestyle and that makes me an "expert" to some.......... (not to me i might add - but to some) i did a whole blog entry just a few days ago on Experience (here) ... confused a few folks.. but there was a reason behind the madness....... what makes an expert??

i am overly cautious i guess about demos and just a tad skeptical of "experts"... buyer beware is an old adage.. but maybe something we should keep close to our hearts when we attend demos and play parties...

a comment was made to the email that i read yesterday....... good advise i think.. it said: "
our protective gear needs to be caution, common sense, and knowledge."

now enough said about that.. for now....... ( i know i know i DO go on sometimes.. but i can't help but think of all the folks taken in by experts..they take a course/demo and go forth and do damage .. all in the name of BDSM ) so for those of you who are into the holiday spirit .. and looking for some holiday magic...... check out the Photo i have posted some holiday pictures.


Reflections and Ruminations said...

Honestly, I know next to nothing about percussion play, but I do know the spine, the kidneys and the knees are OFF LIMITS. Makes you wonder, right?

I wonder, did anyone SAY anything? I mean, just plain ole head over the whomever is running this deal and SAY SOMETHING??????

I hope so. For me, I LOVE my spine and my kidneys and I'm hanging on to the knees I have by a thread. *wink*

Be well...and I really mean that.


CLoud said...

A reason to question of what makes an instructor different than a mentor I feel in moat cases the mentor offers to correct a poor effort or style and give suggestions. The instructor has only one way the one that gets money for efforts. Though there are some out there that do put on good work shops there is nothing like learning through trial and error with a whole lot of common sense. I doubt the Karate coach would give an open workshop as most in martial arts only give those that have shown ability to properly use what they have already been shown.

Buffalo said...

Experts are often those with the most authoritative line of bullshit - regardless of their "field" of expertise.

danae said...

Oh I so agree with you! I have been having fun with kink since I was 16 and I am now 40 but there is no way on earth I would call myself an expert.

A few years ago a man was giving a demo on wax. I had happen to help in a demo on that fort another group just a few months before and got up there and said we are not experts but this is what we have learned and researched. But this guy was up there and he took the lid off the crockpot and it sounded like he was frying chicken. He poured some on the girl before anyone could stop him but he did get stopped by the girls Dominant. And I did ask him about some of the things he said. But he just brushed me off like I was asking silly questions.

I agree with you...on your emailer's comment -- "our protective gear needs to be caution, common sense, and knowledge."

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