When i walked Sir out to His car to say goodbye for yet another week..... He told me to go and check my email. When i came back upstairs to the office.. sitting on my desk were my ankle cuffs (already chained together)... i kept one eye on them while i opened up my email program... There was an email from Sir telling me that every hour on the hour i was to put two bulldog clamps on each pussy lip for 20 minutes. i was to put on my ankle cuffs and wear them till He took them off. That was it.. simple.
i checked the clock .. it was almost 10 so i quickly put the ankle cuffs on and grabbed the bulldog clamps and went downstairs where i proceeded to put two clamps on each pussy lip........at 10:20 i removed them. i almost cried when they came off... i rubbed and massaged my pussy .. then i went and made myself a cup of coffee.. picked up my watch, my book, and the bulldogs and went outside to my secret garden to read. At 11:00 i put the clamps back on........ i couldn't read or drink coffee.. i could only sit and breathe through the pain... and rub and massage when they came off. At 12:00 and again at 1:00 i put them on and took them off.. each time the pain became worse ... and the recuperation time became longer.. at 2:00 and again at 3:00, on they went.. with less and less enthusiasm..... by 4:00 i was dreading the thought of putting them on.. absolutely dreading it.. i couldn't concentrate on my book... my eyes kept straying to the clock "how much longer till i HAVE to do it" was the question on my mind... i steeled myself.. at 4:00 i put them on.. and nearly cried out loud..... i could feel the indentations running down the length of my lips..they were swollen and throbbing.... At 5:00 again i clamped them on.. my mind rebelling.. but my hands doing it automatically.. the pain was a searing hot / cold pain...... at 5:25 i got a message from Sir to stop my pussy training.. i collapsed in relief.. i didn't know if i could have put those clamps back on at 6:00
it was what i needed and wanted....... to feel under Sir's control even when He is miles away from me.. it is so difficult to explain this need .. to Sir .. to you the readers.. hells bells even to myself... but having a task like this made me feel cared for.. made me feel valued.. made me feel HIS. and in the long run that is all i ever wanted.. to feel His hand even when He is miles away........
I think you explained it very well and I think every submissive in the world knows exactly what you mean.
ReplyDeletePeople always ask me how it is that I can stand to hurt myself when He orders me to. I think the assumption is that I like it in the same way that I like it when He's doing it. And that's not it at all.
ReplyDeleteIt's exactly what you just said. It's the only way I can feel connected to His control when He isn't physically here. And I need to feel that connection.
I'm sorry for your poor little lips but I'm happy for *you*. :-)
kaya