Friday, May 12, 2006

Opinions and Ideas



i have a couple of issues that are bugging me that i need to vent about.......... not rant .. so you don't have to run and hide.. but i do need to vent !!!

In this community of BDSM folk there are such kaleidoscopes of colours and thoughts and philosophies "your kink .. my kink" has become my mantra. i may not understand your fetish/your kink but i will defend your right to have it.

Once upon a time there were a group of submissives who met regularily for support and discussion and fun. For awhile it became their driving force to have a "black list" of Doms that were dangerous or abusive. A couple of us "older" subbies struggled with the idea... who was to set up such a list?? Who defined what was abusive or not?? And then one night at a club .. a Dom lambasted my Sir for being too hard on me!! He had been using the paddle just the way i LOVED it.. hard tap tap tap and then one BIG whallop! Hang on a second here.. Sir was doing it just right - by OUR standards. Maybe not yours .. but most definitely by Ours !!! The other Dom backed off with a shrug of His shoulders when He realized i was angry.. not Sir but me!! the poor lil subbie at the end of that paddle who "needed defending??!!" (truthfully folks .. those of you who have been reading me for a while now........ do i look like a subbie who needs defending??!!! cheeky grin) The "black list" went the way of the dodo bird.. as did the group if truth be told.

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i learned last evening that i have managed to hurt the feelings of someone i met a couple of times. And i have to admit i have spent a good part of the night stewing over it. It is NOT my nature to want to hurt anyone....... it is NOT my nature to condemn anyone for their beliefs or philosophies or needs or KINK. It IS my nature to try and understand where they are coming from.. to have a better grasp on their philosophy .. it doesn't mean i will accept it as mine (was that the hope ??) or that i will even condone it....... but i most definitely would NOT condemn the person outright for their belief system !!! So why is it that i feel condemned now?? why is it i feel that i have been slapped down??? maybe cause i have been??? Some people were never meant to see eye to eye over anything... there are those who do NOT believe in homosexual relationships...... who do not believe that there should be female Dommes.... there are those who believe that submissives should be strong fiercely independent people .. there are those who firmly believe in your right to be anything you wish to be .. from doormat to table to puppy or pony.

i am going to say this once .. for prosterity.. once and only once (i hope.. at my age i do tend to forget i said something!!!) i will defend everyone's right to live this life in any way that fits their needs....... it does not mean i have to embrace it as my own...... and it most definitely does not mean i dislike you...... pleaseeeeeeeee life is just too short for that!

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Now on to more fun thoughts.......... it is Friday....... the willow switches have been cut according to swan's Master's instructions....... they sit in a vase (so the cats will stop playing them !!) until Sir arrives this afternoon......... then they will - sometime over the weekend - i hope - be put in a nice warm bath .. ready for the moment of truth.......... a bunch of baby rattlesnakes eh swan?? well time will tell ......

2 comments:

Raheretic said...

We tend to play quite intensely. We've had the experience at conferences of having newbies go to dungeon monitors beseeching them to intervene and "save" poor swan from my "brutilization".

My favorite was at a conference here in Ohio a couple of years ago. The next day after such an incident the dungeon monitor told me he had told all the freaked out newbies, "go back over there children. This is called BDSM.....watch, listen, and learn."

We felt appreciated and supported by this man's understanding that we were expressing our identities not having an abuse incident.

It is perplexing the extent to which many who share our alternative sensual/erotic orientation feel a need to prescribe how others must feel and behave. The fact is, if you haven't accepted yourself you may feel comforted by thinking others have been persuaded to think and practice their kink by emulating you.

Sometimes newbies have to be reminded that their journey is not to become like me, or you, or anyone else. The goal is to become thmselves.

All the best:)

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

CLoud said...

I think we hold the same philosophy on what is kink and I think any one that thinks you need protecting has never beeenon the working side of your nails. As for getting allong with people well if i got along with everyone there woul dbe one hell of a lot of naked peple with chains on parading through the street declaring their loyalaty to me. Opps wrong fantasy oh well