Way back when I was living in Montreal and first entering the BDSM world... you know way back when everything was shiny and bright and you wanted / HAD TO try everything NOW! I had a Dominant who looked around at what everyone else was doing and decided we would do it ALL (whether it fit or not)
And trust me when I say - there was some real weird sh*t happening in the Montreal community back then. An example - there was a group that insisted that all submissives kneel and kiss the hand of EVERY dominant there. I never understood that one... and was labelled the rebellious sub cause that was one of the things I refused to do!
BUT there was a general dress code...... for most of the submissives I knew - it was a dress code when they went out to a party ........... it usually involved sexy? (or slutty) clothes - I had a modified version - a corset... a thong and I always wore a skirt!! A lot didn't - and would prance around in a corset and thong and nothing else - OH WAIT ! I forgot - they usually wore high heels - like 10 inches high.
We had a dress code 24/7 -
1) I was to be naked at all times at home.
(which was REALLY dumb cause all my windows were floor to ceiling - and offered no privacy really - so I had to keep the curtains drawn - which was depressing cause it was so damn dark all the time)
also let's be honest - sitting on furniture when you're naked is not that hygienic - so I always had a towel folded to sit on. (UGH! I blush at the memory) Answering the front door offered a whole set of new challenges.
2) my dominant preferred me in dresses - like ALL the time.... which meant I had to buy a new wardrobe...... and dresses didn't actually work well in the classroom.
3) when I went out I was not allowed to wear any underwear! even to work.
The reasoning was - I had to be accessible at all times. IF I tried to discuss this dress code - explain why it made me uncomfortable I was told I was a bad 'subbie'. I didn't want to be 'bad' ....... so I stressed.
The other thing I remember about this 'dress code' was how humiliated it made me feel. My dominant would take great pleasure in telling anyone who would listen how I was naked..... accessible.... I was (am) a private person - every time I would hear him talking about my nudity I would die a little bit inside.
By the time I left that relationship I struggled with 'dress code'. Poor Sir Steve had to constantly reassure me that I was to wear what made ME happy - what made ME feel good. He did not understand the need to control me to that extent - especially when it made me so obviously uncomfortable. He did have 1 simple dress code rule - I would sleep naked.... easy peasy! slipping into bed - snuggling up against his naked body is perhaps the best feeling in the world. Over the last 4 years I have learned one thing that Sir Steve likes/enjoys... and that's when I don't wear a bra. He likes to be able to touch - OH forget touch! He likes to grab and ya know what?? I like when he grabs... (but he never frowns when I put a bra on... not if it makes me comfortable!)
This is where I was gonna ask you all what / if any dress codes you all have.... but most of you answered that question yesterday ....I have to admit there was one or two of you that I expected would have a 'dress code'.... because ya know - sadly there are still skewered biases in my head. I guess I still have some ' re-educating' to do .. after so many years of believing THIS was the right way to do BDSM - the ONLY way to do BDSM.
