My Stalker

Many many years ago I had a Dom very interested in me.  We had negotiated and played and he was fun... he was!

He once told me he could find me ...anywhere... even at work.  (now remember I was a teacher -- under a board that had many schools) I laughed and said 'good luck with that'.   Imagine my surprise when he showed up at my school and got in........ and showed up in my office.   BUT there was a part of me that was flattered that he would actually hunt me down.  No warning bells -- no red flags.  Colour me naive.

Time passed and we were together for many years... He collared me - he even registered me on the slave registry.  When it was good it was very good -- when it went bad -- it went very bad.  

I moved ... out of his house but still in the same city.

And I thought he was out of my life.

Until he wasn't.  I had blocked him on the net....... blocked his phone number -- blocked and blocked.  So he mailed me letters.  Mailed me gifts.  I called him a stalker and he got very insulted -- and very verbal.  But he disappeared.  (for awhile)

But seriously in the back of my mind I still wasn't free from him.... I could and did bump into him at local shops.

Then the opportunity arouse for me to move to this new city.  And I took it.  AND I refused to give anyone -- ANYONE -- my new address. 

I felt safe finally!  I felt free finally!

Then in March Sir Steve got a message from the owners of the campgrounds.   A package had been delivered there for me.  HUH??? I had NO idea who would send me anything there.... So we ignored it.  

On Saturday we arrived at the campgrounds to spend the weekend opening the trailer.  When we checked in - the owner passed the 'package' that had arrived in the mail for me.  I stared at the envelope and felt a flash of emotions -- shock.... anger... and a tinge of fear.  The package was from this Stalker Dom.  Both Sir Steve and I were dumbfounded.  How the hell had he found me?!

BUT I posted pictures last year on Facebook on Sir Steve's wall -- of our camping experience -- and it was tagged with our location.  For me the scariest part -- was how much he knew about my new life......... right down to the lil one's name!!!!

The worst part -- ignore the fact I left him over 3 years ago -- ignore the fact I have called him a 'stalker' before and he was butt hurt ......... the worst part is he honestly thinks he's doing a good thing.  Each time he has mailed me something he thinks he's doing something N I C E !!  He doesn't understand how much of a stalker he is -- how f**king sick it is.  Let's not even talk about how many in the community have told me of stalkerish behaviours of his against others in the community... how many consent violations he has committed under the guise of "joking".  AND he blames me for his being ostracized from the community (le sigh)



One last attempt at getting the point across..............

(this has been cross posted in part to Fetlife)

Sunday Sentiments

which one are you??

I'm working on "intelligent people"

The Challenge

Well we are off to the campgrounds this morning.  

All week my stomach was fluttering -- this morning it is tied up in knots (and not the good kind of knots) 

It's weird really -- last summer I understood my nervousness as I hadn't come face to face with the mother or grandmother since Sir Steve and I were together.  This summer should be different -- I have seen the mother and grandmother every time we have gone to court.  I have endured the grandmother's cold shoulder and childish behaviours towards me.

But the thought of almost 5 months of living two doors down from them is almost too much.  And the memories of last summer and the nonsense I (we) had to endure -- and let's not forget the grandfather's threatening behaviour to me one night -- are the stuff my nightmares are made of these days.

Nothing in my life has prepared me for the mentality of these people!  Nothing in my life has taught me how to handle these people.  I do NOT do confrontation -- or confrontational people -- I just don't !  They definitely bring out the fight or flight reaction in me -- and it's the flight reaction that wins every time.

I did have a meme come across my Facebook feed the other day.  Something that made me stop and think........................

Maybe -- just maybe -- I will be smiling a lot this summer ..... 

Busy Week

What a busy week !!  Sir Steve started his new job on Monday (YAY!!) and I was in charge of the lil one - getting her on and off the bus -- doing her homework and all the little things that go along with amusing a 5 year old.  

In between times - I got the house cleaned - the laundry done -- made umpteen lists for camping - pulled the camping gear out of the basement and reorganised it and got it all packed neatly in nice large plastic bins........ OH YEAH -- and I went shopping for food for the trailer and for home -- and decided a trip to the liquor store was in order for some liquor/wine.

When I had a few free minutes I tried to organise my youngest's birthday party and a Mother's Day celebration for next weekend.  (Unfortunately it seems it won't happen -- the girls' father is scheduled to go into hospital for open heart surgery on the Friday)  shrug -- another missed Mother's Day...... 

Then there was the animal episode... the day the dog had an ear episode -- I tried to put in ear drops which didn't end well -- I had more ear drops on me than she got in her ears...... and during the melee I thought my indoor cat Miss Ashes -- 17 years old - had escaped into the neighbourhood.  My heart broke.  
Fortunately when the lil one came home Miss Ashes reappeared magically sitting beside her begging for some of her snack.  I wasn't sure if I was gonna kill the cat or hug her to death.  Her reaction was more a "what the hell is your problem!?"  

And now today -- the lil one has been shipped off to school and then to her mother's for the weekend ... I am baking muffins to take to the campsite (and praying for warm sunshine for the weekend)  

Sir Steve has some minor oral surgery this afternoon after work -- a night to recuperate then bright and early tomorrow we drag all the 'stuff' to the campgrounds and open the trailer for another summer of fun in the sun 
(if the sun decides to show up this year!!)

Tis the Season.......

It's camping season again...... well officially it starts this weekend.  How thrilled am I??  Well let's be honest -- 2 weeks ago we had an ice storm and snow on the ground.  The temperatures are hovering around 15 - 17 degrees ( around 59F to 62F) ...... doesn't that just make  you want to pull out the shorts and swim suits??!!

It is 'list' season for me -- list of clothing and bedding that needs to be packed up for the weekend -- lists of meals and food -- lists of shopping that needs to be done (like for bug spray -- cause the spring is 'no see 'um' season and dear god!!  I still have the scars from their bites/my reactions from last spring)  

It is planning season for me -- I like to think I am pretty good at 'minimalist' living -- but minimalist living in an RV is a far cry from minimalist living in the city!  Last year I was so stressed over things just being dropped everywhere -- food thrown into the pantry where ever it fit - piles of shorts and tops and underwear neatly folded one on top of the other in the small wee cupboard beside the beds -- finding space for paper towels and toilet paper ....... for shoes and boots (dear god we needed boots more than sandals ALL last summer!)  

Today I am going shopping -- I need to buy food for the week at home and food for the RV ....... I need to find the bug spray so I may just survive this spring season.  And bottles and bottles of javel to clean out the mouse poop and mouse pee -- and dear god maybe even dead mice bodies!

AND
I am making a list of all the lil jobs Sir Steve has to get done -- like fixing our bedroom door so we can actually have some privacy -- and when we are out -- we can actually keep the animals off our bed...... fixing the campfire area with crushed stone so we don't have to dodge the mud puddles after the rain......... 

oh........... yeah............ 

and then there is the joy of being 2 campsites down from the mother and her parents.  They were just such a ray of sunshine in my life last summer.

On the bright side -- my eldest daughter and her soon to be husband will be just across the road from us .... and that is a very good thing! 

Honestly  though -- once I get things organised and under control -- once the sun comes out and the weather warms up -- I'm gonna love camping!