Ray of Sunshine

It's been difficult to try and explain with words what life has been like around here...

One of the reasons being, I couldn't figure out what was wrong - other than feeling very lost - not anchored or steady or having any direction..........

Then one day recently - we laughed together and joked -- and I realized that my spirit lifted........... 

Laughter and joking and joy had taken a holiday from our lives and it was dark and dreary and just a little bit scary.

It didn't stay for long - just a brief ray of sunshine ......... but it was enough to make me realize what was missing....... and to give me hope that maybe one day soon - the laughter and the joking and the joy will return.

The other stuff will come later - I hope.

Sunday Sentiments

X-Rated

or - How I made my photography teacher speechless.............



I know a few of you have asked me to post some of my pictures again... BUT this summer, any pictures I took just lacked "passion" - I lacked passion when taking pictures.......... 

For my class on Tuesday night I had to bring 3 of my favourite pictures.

I went back in my files and found the clown face pic... the red door through the gate pic and a picture of my lilies from this summer.  I took loads of flower pics this summer but they were ho hum pictures - just flowers - nothing spectacular....... 

But there was this one picture of the lilies... I had popped my macro lens on and took the lily from the side........ the stamen was amazing!!  So I popped that picture onto the memory stick and took them to class.

The first picture was the red door and the teacher was quite chatty about the colours - the angle - the all over composition and lighting.  Next was the clown picture and  everyone was wowed (well it is quite dramatic)..........

And then up came my lily picture.  You could have heard a pin drop in the class.  The teacher fidgeted, crossed his legs and uncrossed them.... cleared his throat a couple of times...finally he muttered "not many people take pictures of flowers from the side....... it ..ahhhh.... ummmm.. certainly accentuates the ahhh... ummmm" and someone in the class filled in the missing word "STAMEN"

Here's the picture that left my teacher speechless..............

   

Girlfriends

I am very lucky - since I moved here to Kingston I have met two amazing women.  Last spring we met for lunch one Sunday........... and talked and cried and laughed and talked some more.

That one lunch has evolved into a monthly lunch meetup ........ for the first time in my life I guess - I really understand "we have your back"............ yup I get it cause they do -  have my back and me theirs.

We are all submissives...........one has a part time partner - one has no partner and - well -you know where I am with our relationship.  Sunday's lunch was a mix of silliness - finding a TOP who will come to beat two of our asses (and one day soon - all 3 of our asses) right through serious thoughtful advice ..... tears and laughter and talking.

I don't know where I was going with this - except to say I am a lucky subbie to have 2 such good friends...... that have my back............ 

A Love Letter

A different sort of love letter

Words heard frequently by lovers - "it's not you - it's all me".......... heard so often that we don't see that there can be truth in that.

Dearest W 

You wrote/said those words over and over to me  "it's not you ...it's me" only I didn't believe you......... and I am sorry for not believing you........... 

I am slowly coming to understand that it really truly is NOT me......... but a struggle you are going through that is weighing you down and wearing you out.

It is long past time for me to stop making this about me - but to turn my heart to you... and my strength - and whatever else you need.  This is not about me.....

If love could fix problems then trust me this problem you are facing would be gone - poof!  in a flash - all gone.  

BUT love can not fix problems.  You can fix them with hard work and support.  Know I am here for you - I will support you - I will love you - I will continue (ok ok go back to - cause I kinda lost my way there for a little while) to be the best damn submissive any Dominant could want.  I do this because I love you and because I know on the other side of this 'storm' is the best life possible for us - for You and me.

WE will get through this together............... 

I am sorry I didn't understand that this really isn't about me - it isn't anything I have done............ I get it now.

I love you with all my heart..........

Your littleone