glitches and headaches

Well LOL day didn't exactly turn out the way I had expected......... in more ways than one.......

I took my car in to the shop - to be told my brakes were done... finished.. rusted through... and it was lucky I was still "stopping"........... 3 hours later and a whole mess of money later.... I got my car back .  

Now seeing as I had booked the day off work... I had intended on doing some Christmas shopping something I love to do......... but unfortunately after the brake bill... the Christmas shopping didn't look all that enticing....... so after 2 shops and not finding anything in my (now adjusted) budget... I came home with the beginnings of a headache... (stress headache for sure)

I came home to the infamous anonymous comments on The Journey.  I never handle public confrontation well............ thought I had taken care of it when poof the comments were still coming.... the headache got worse....... I tried a number of things to limit the comments on here... couldn't find what I wanted......... the headache was pounding... so I shut the damn blog down.  Seemed the easiest way to handle it.  and went to bed feeling very alone...

Now at 3:00 in the morning - the headache is gone....... and I am a little calmer... I looked again.  I can NOT find a setting that will stop anonymous comments. So to save you folks from having to read them....... I have put up comment moderation.  I know I know what a pain !!!  IF you comment now - you will have to wait to see it appear.. I do apologize ..........but I think this is better than the alternative - shutting off ALL comments (which I did find) and making you email me comments.

Anyway - that was how my LOL day ended - not at all the way I had intended.  The whole day was not the day I had planned. BUT I did learn some interesting things about people in my life........... lessons I probably needed to learn 

Here's to no more public nasties....... and on with The Journey ........... over that speed bump .. around a sharp corner - and veer to the left ....... straight on until morning ..........

Peek a Boo

I see you.......

Every day over 100  people slip in to "The Journey" - sit and read for a while and then leave.  That's ok.  It makes me think a little bit like going to a library.  You slip in quietly - read quietly - and leave. 

This is the 3rd year that I have been participating in LOL day - something Bonnie over on My Bottom Smarts started 6 years ago !!! LOL stands for Love Our Lurkers.  Not my favourite choice of words for you silent readers - but there ya have it

The whole point to this day is to try and lure you out of your lurkers mode and get you to leave a comment.  


But I was thinking about that... IF this is a day to celebrate our lurkers - why make you DO something?? AND if you comment - then you are no longer a lurker right??? so then you can't be celebrated right???

So I am gonna break with convention (what else is new??!!) I am gonna thank all you lurkers for lurking.  Every morning when I come to the computer and click on my numbers and see that I am still - after all these years - bringing in 100+ readers it encourages me to write more.. 

As much as we bloggers say we write for ourselves - I wonder how many of us would continue to write if no one came........

So I want to say a heartfelt THANK YOU to all the lurkers here on The Journey.... may you continue to come quietly - sit and read quietly - and leave.  I hope my words will continue to bring you back time and time again over this coming year........ 

 My wish for you all is: 

May you find something to warm your heart in my words....
May you find something to challenge your thinking in my words... 
May you find a smile or a tear in my words......

Happy Love Our Lurkers Day !!!!

A moment in time........

I had a draining day yesterday... nothing very serious or out of the ordinary ( as the saying goes "same shit different day") Nevertheless,  I was glad to leave the noise and confusion and climb into my lil car and head home.

I didn't even put the radio on.. just drove through the darkness ... letting the day's stresses and problems leave my mind.  I was sorta / kinda driving by rote.. not paying much attention ... when I landed up behind a city bus stopped at a red light.

I don't know how long I sat there not really "seeing" anything except the darkness..... when something drew my attention to the back window of the bus.  There was a woman's profile framed in the window... and she was talking earnestly to someone out of view.  I was wondering what she was discussing so seriously and with whom.. and found myself being drawn into the one sided drama going on in front of me.

When suddenly another face popped into the window frame.. a young child laughing .. and he (or she) leaned into the woman who was talking and kissed her ...... they both laughed .... 

The light turned green the bus turned the corner and my attention was drawn back to the driving and away from the bus window.......... but somehow that interlude .. that cameo of human interaction... lifted my spirits ... left me smiling and feeling that everything was all right with the world............

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I hate change - I've said it here more than once - W is ALWAYS reminding me how much I HATE change............... 

But ya'd think - by now - I would at least be able to adapt to the time change in the Spring and the Fall.............. If you think that - then you'd be wrong !!!

Usually I set all the clocks before I go to bed - but for some reason this weekend I forgot...... so imagine my surprise on Sunday when I bounced out of bed - thinking I had slept in - cause wow !! the clock said 6:00 AM (that is sleeping in for me).. turned on the old pc and saw that it was actually 5:00 AM!!!  I am surprised you didn't all hear me growl 

Well it is now Tuesday - day 2 of the new time - and my body is still living in the past.  I drove home from work in the pitch black - which made it feel so damn late. Miss Ashes was pacing by the door - yelling at me that I was late !!! It was wayyyyyyyyy past dinner time.. and just where the hell had I been.  (Ok ok - I know - I give my cat way too much credit for communication skills!!)  By 8:00 PM I could barely keep my eyes open...... by 9:00 PM when I finally allowed myself to go to bed I dragged myself upstairs - literally dragged myself - feeling totally exhausted.  I was asleep by 9:01

My eyes popped open at 4:00 f**cking AM.  I tried - I really did try - to roll over and at the very least nap a bit - till the alarm at 5:15 - but no such luck.  So here I am at 4:30 on the pc.

And pray tell - why is it no one.... NO ONE.... has written anything new on FL or Facebook - or on their blogs - didn't you all know I was gonna be up wandering around the house before the crack of dawn with nothing to do??? You all could have - at the very least - left something for me to read.......... sighhhhhhhhhhh.. and you call yourselves "friends" sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 



I did however - find the semi - amusing cartoon at the top .... about turning clocks back.... with my favourite cartoon character Maxine .......... I think I will turn my clock back to 20 something....... and have a "do over"........ First thing I would "do over" is learning to sleep in........ (nodding head) yup..... learn to sleep in !!!

Quiet time

I have been fighting with this 'bug' that crawled into my body for a week now.  Saturday I was exhausted - even after a good night's sleep. W had a train show to go to... I had toyed with the idea of tagging along - but realized Saturday morning I just didn't have the energy.  Better he went on his own and enjoyed the show - rather than have me listlessly following behind.

I told him - via email - that I would cook up a new Italian sausage recipe for supper.  That meant - brilliant me - that besides getting the laundry done - I had to run out to the grocery store and pick up ingredients.  I also decided - after taking a look around the house - that it needed sprucing up - at the very least it needed a good vacuuming.  

So while W was wandering around a train show I was running around getting organised........ not exactly a quiet resting day.  By the time W showed up I was glad to sit down..... and just veg.  

By the time dinner was over (oh and I wasn't all that impressed with the new sausage recipe - think I will be going back to the tried and true one I have) I was pooped.  In my mind I knew I wanted to play a little bit - knew W would want to play.......... BUT I wasn't sure I had the energy for a whooping.

Sounds funny eh........ saying I didn't have the energy for a whooping?? But truth be told - even though I am usually just "hanging" around - it does take a lot of energy.  The body works hard to process the pain - and of course I do do my subbie jig..... So I was running all sorts of scenarios through my head....... and hit on needle play.  Yup - that would fit the bill - I could just lie on the floor still as still can be - while W stuck needles in me........ weaving out a pattern.  

When W asked if I was ready for a whooping..... I hesitated - not quite sure how to bring it up....... Finally I just blurted out that I wanted needles - that he had done needles on k last weekend...... and I missed needles - let's do needles !!!

So in no time flat the needle kit was on the table - I was lying on the floor on my snuggly blanket with pillows ......... ready for the first prick of the first needle.  

Truthfully I didn't even feel the first one go in.......... BUT the second one...... OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN !!!!! I felt that one........... felt it going through the first hole and coming out the second......... even felt it while W was getting ready to put  the next one in.  And the next one hurt like hell too.......... and I tried everything to deal with it.. kept moaning to myself quietly that I as a f**king masochist - this should be MY thing.......... didn't help.  By the time the 3rd needle was in ....... I was a blubbering mess of tears.  

W said "want me to take them out??" and I could barely answer him for the crying.  Even after the 3 stupid needles were out I was still blubbering..... sobbing........ body shaking sobbing. 

W kept murmuring soft reassuring words "I had been sick ...... it was ok.... my body was weak and tired" on and on like a mantra - soft reassuring words - all the while he was stroking my back and my body - letting the storm run it's course - letting me know I hadn't done anything wrong. 

Once I had composed myself - some - and we had talked over what went wrong....... I asked in this quiet little frightened voice if we could try the new dragon's tongue toy.  W obliged almost immediately!!  He had me stay on the floor snuggled on top of my wooly blanket with pillows under my head...I was still snuffling like a big Mr Snuffleupagist - when the first lash from the dragon's tongue struck.  I realized W was going very slow and very easy on me.  He even muted the television so that there were no distractions........ 

Slow easy strokes from the dragon's tongue......... my body started to relax and move with the strokes....... the muscles started to unclench and my mind went in search of my fairies..... 

Then W ratcheted it up a bit........ and I was back to white knuckling the pillows - thinking I couldn't do this........ but then W would ratchet it down some.... and the body would relax...... up and down went the intensity - until - it all felt good...... and my mind went to that place where my 4 year old lives........ and all was right with the world.  Though my 4 year old told W that I didn't like the dragon's tongue at all!! (small stamp of foot ) and it had a nasty lil knot on the end... and it hurt... and (pout pout pout) I didn't like it all... and W said in his soft quiet voice "so you are telling me you want more??" and the lil 4 year old said "yes" and so it all started over again.................

That is until W was pushing my legs apart and kneeling between them and I felt his hands playing with me - finding my wetness - encouraging it.......... and then........... well then I was lying in puddle - feeling my cum spurting out of me...... ughhhhhhhh I hate that feeling....... well no I don't actually hate it..... let's just say it is a love/hate thing..... This aptitude I have for soaking through everything - is one of the reasons that most of our play - at home - involves huge thick towels - or big snuggly blankets .....

And I realized that in a moment - with the right handling - emotions can change from tears to smiles ............. And the whole evening of play was declared a success  !!