Openness

i left up the blog about the Leather family for a couple of days..... i have had nearly 300 hits on that particular entry........ and only 2 comments both looking to see if anyone would step forward with answers to my questions. Well ya know what?? no one did...... and so i am left to think that this is .. as selkie put it.. mostly a gay male thing... a leather boy thing....... and the rest are just online figments of someone's imagination. More's the pity. i think it would be interesting to delve into Leather Families.... to learn more about how they work or don't work....... how they came to be etc....





So today i move on........... to another topic that is niggling away at me........ that is Openness with one's dominant......

And the reason for this is ........ this week i had a brief email exchange with drakor on openness... and the result was he wrote a blog.......

Now granted his blog was on an entirely different subject really...... but there was one paragraph that made me sit back and think... read it again.. and once more for good measure to make sure i actually got IT........ and then it niggled away at me...

The words /statement that got me was:
"Yes the slave needs tobe open about health issues and any issues that might affect his use by the dominant. Do they have to know my thoughts on Afghanistan do they need to know why I am for or against the death penalty. As a slave what I think is unimportant to the dominant is it not?"

and i realized i couldn't agree with him... not one little bit.

i realize those words were written entirely from his perspective on what a slave is..... and that definition fills his needs ... and availabilty.

But i couldn't come close to agreeing with him.. not even given his parameters. i can't imagine anyone wanting to be with someone who has NO opinion on anything... who can not carry on a conversation.. or get into a debate.. who is simply a "Yes man" person. How boring is that???

i wouldn't want a dominant who was "brain dead" by my definition.. and i wouldn't want a "friend" or sister submissive or anyone for that matter .. who was "brain dead". That gives a whole new meaning to the old blonde jokes doesn't it?? Given drakor's definition ... we could come up with a whole slew of dumb slave jokes ... don't you think??

i read one specific blog where the Dominant in question wants nothing more than a cunt.... and a pain toy. He wants an IT...... and He has been working for a long time (years) to turn His vital educated slave into just that. But it amuses me how He also wants someone to go and play bridge with. In my opinion, He wants a part time cunt/pain toy and a part time wife/partner. (which - again in my opinion - is how it should be!!!)

Sir often teases me that i mustn't think.......... because when i think i always land myself up in trouble. Last weekend i tried very hard to not use the phrase " Sir i have been thinking............" and it was nearly impossible and quite laughable actually........ me not thinking?? i will be dead when that happens.

And for me to think ....... and not to share my thoughts.......... IMPOSSIBLE !!

i believe the reason i can not accept drakor's requirement for a slave is because i would find it quite boring to have no one to discuss topics with..... as a slave.. as a human! i would find my time with Sir more than a little boring if we didn't have debates about issues at hand.......... and i don't have to win the debates.. and don't usually try........ but i do like knowing what he believes in.. as i am sure.. he likes knowing what i believe in............... because that is all part and parcel of what makes a good relationship..... it is the glue that holds a relationship together (in my opinion).......

Hell forget relationships.. thinking - having an opinion is what makes me a vital living breathing person......... interesting to converse with.... and get to know.....

i don't have the time of day for those simpering "yes Sir no Sir 3 bags full Sir" types of slaves.. to me they are all pretext and pretend and smoke and mirrors.. i want to KNOW someone .. and that includes what they think/believe!

more thoughts on "family"

Ok.. so yesterday i touched on the subject of "Leather family"......... a .. what to call it?? ....... a phenomena i am trying to grasp/understand........

Originally i only heard about / learned about / read about leather families in print or on line. But then i heard about and finally met a Dominant here in the Great White North who was supposedly the head of a leather family. When i met him though he resembled someone more like a pop star..... surrounded by an entourage with adoring fans fawning over him. Personally ......... i wasn't much impressed. i thought he came across as an asshole... with a huge .. and i do mean HUGE ego. The other thing i noticed was ... he only had submissives.. i didn't see any other Dominants... and in my limited knowledge ... leather families involved submissives and Dominants....... plural.

The next time i came across what could possibly be considered a leather family was at a private party in the fall. There was a group of folks who arrived and immediately congregated together. i found it almost impossible to figure out who was who....... (sub .. dom etc) they all seemed fairly equal. The sexism in me tended to think / identify the male as the Dominant. When it came to play time they spread out and took over a rather large area ....... not mixing with anyone else and certainly not welcoming anyone else into their circle. If this was a leather family they were very insulated. During the evening i watched them..... and realized they must be a group of switches.. as each one of them seemed to take a turn on the receiving end of the floggers....... and that muddied the waters even more for me.. trying to sort out who was in control.......... because in my opinion.. in a family .. there should be some sort of head... someone in charge.

So i am left wondering .......... are there real leather families out there somewhere...... in the REAL world (sorry .. but anything can and does work on line. i tend to need real life experiences ....to believe. Just call me "doubting thomas")

If there are such things..... how do they work?? Does each Dominant rule the tribe of submissives/slaves?? or do they break down into individual couples that come together once in a while to play?? And if that is the case .. then how is that different from good friends getting together once in a while to play??

AND if leather familes DO exist in the real world.. how do you get one started?? How do all the dominants and submissives co-exist??

Anyone have any answers to my questions??

Family

Family - no i am not going to talk about my preggie daughter and how the baby has not arrived yet.

Many years ago.. when i first started reading blogs.. i stumbled across a blog that i read faithfully. It was written by a submissive who was in a "leather" family. She lived with her Master and a few miles away lived 2 other dominants (male and female). She wrote about the sessions she had with her Master.. and from time to time with this other couple. There was also another Dominant who lived miles away who would drop in from time to time.

i was so intriqued by this submissive and her "leather" family. Her blog was like a drug.. a fantasy drug... a designer drug........ i craved the latest installments. And it wasn't just BDSM either... she often talked about her Master's business, and how she would cook for his staff, how she would keep the books .. and do other chores.

She had the life i dreamed of.

Until.............

She "moved" away from the East Coast to the West Coast, and just stopped posting. Many months later i found out (i can't remember how) that her whole blog.. the stories she told were woven out of fairy dust and magic, and absolutely no reality.

There was also a book i read ...... once upon a time...... about a slave who belonged to a "leather" family. The name of the book was "To Love Honour and Obey" (i believe) and i actually found the author's website at one point in my travels around the net. She (it would appear) was/is very real.



All of this is to say........ i have been thinking recently (again) about Leather Families.

i have other stuff to say about it........ questions to ask...... and thoughts to share... so stay tuned. But now....... well now.. my kiddies call.... so i am off (yeah yeah .. i know ....... i have been "off" for a long time now)

teasing........

We had a quiet weekend... relatively. i just had no energy... too pooped to pop.

But that doesn't mean Sir didn't have a little fun........ i am not sure what it is about pinching my inner thighs.. and pussy.. but Sir loves to do it... me .. i HATE it.. with a passion. (ok not as much as pinching my nipples but still it rates up there!)

Anyway......... Saturday i am making breakfast... (southwestern omelet with bacon on the side if anyone is interested) and i bent over to get something - and there was Sir with His pinchy fingers .........

i am dancing the subbie jig.. trying to avoid even though that isn't allowed...... and the next thing i know Sir has me bent over the counter and He is fucking me......... and ohhhhhhhh god it felt so good..... i do think i complained (just before He started) that "it" was broken......... but a second later i am dripping wet and moaning and really getting into it............ my muscles start to tighten... and i can feel the orgasm right there.. ready to explode out of me ....... when Sir stops.. just like that.. HE STOPS??!! laughs saying something like "it ain't broken" and walks out of the kitchen.

And that was a preview of my day............ bend me over.. start fucking me.. stop just before i actually cum. Have me stand up walk over to Him (knowing what is coming - and it wasn't me!) and offer up my pussy for Sir to play with. Over and over and over again.

i did tell Sir that eventually the automatic response just ain't gonna happen - cause the body does learn - even if it learns slowly. But that didn't elicit any sympathy.......... just fuck me and stop .. fuck me and stop.

Finally........ i was standing beside Sir and His fingers are in me.. and i am dripping so much... and wanting so much.. and thinking i just couldn't take it anymore.. When Sir stands up.. walks around behind me.. bends me over the arm of the sofa.. and goes at it.. fast and furious .. and wellllllllll... He didn't stop this time... and it was fucking amazing !!!!!!

Sometimes it pays to wait..............

Forgetful Sub

ok, so i told you all i got my pc back......... and i have had to reload all the programs back on.. and try and find programs/files .. and try and get the printer to run wireless (which i still haven't accomplished !!) all the while (of course !!) playing farmville and cafe world and writing the odd blog every now and then and working, and trying to keep the house up.. and keeping track of all the sickies in the family...........

Eventually it was bound to happen............ not a computer crash but a subbie crash!! Yesterday i was pooped.. exhausted... dead to the world........... so when i came home i decided to do nothing........ (well ok i DID check up on the farm and the restaurant - but then i went and had a rest...)

Every evening (as most of you know) i go on msn to chat with Sir at 8 sharp....... so like a good tired subbie i dragged myself up to the office and loaded up the pc.. i wanted to show Sir i had managed to get msn working again... and i sat there ... and sat there and sat there... no Sir.

By 8:05 i guess.. i was wondering where He had gotten to.. wondering if His Vista had conflicted with His computer yet again.. and He had finally thrown the whole thing out the window............

Just as i was about to send Him a text message (cause ya know, i really feel funny - even after 8 years!! - phoning Him) when it occurred to me (brilliant subbie !!) that i had not checked my email since i had arrived home.

And you guessed it - or you should have - there was an email from Sir. In all the hustle and bustle of the week, i had totally forgotten it was TUESDAY and Sir's night out at the train club !! (stupid subbie!!)

The email was a "task email" something Sir hasn't done in ages ......... i was thrilled to see it.. and pissed off. Geeeeeez Louise !!! Didn't Sir know i was pooped.... didn't Sir know i could use a night off???? and my god.. it looked like i would need some sort of flow chart to keep track of what i was supposed to do and for how long.............

1) get the clamps
2) put the clamps on the pussy for 10 mins - off for 5 during the off times text message Sir - back on for 15 - off for 5 - back on for 20
3) don't turn off the pc
4) go and give yourself an orgasm
5) have your bath then text message

i did some fast math......... because i had forgotten to pick up my emails.. i was way behind schedule.... it was going to take me way over an hour to complete everything - including my bath - and i had so hoped to be in bed by 9 at the latest.........

i gave a figurative shrug.. and clamped the clamps on........... natural consequence for not doing what i am supposed to (checking email) ........ the first 10 minutes weren't so bad...... i played cafe ville while i watched the clock...... 5 minutes off i texted Sir... got a drink.. and slapped the damn clamps back on for the next 15 minutes......... cafe ville was boring - the farm was running itself.. so bejeweled was my next game of choice..... but the damn clamps hurt.. my pussy ached... i couldn't concentrate and probably got my worst scores ever !!! (like you all care - see me roll my eyes??)

Well to make a long story short ....... sort of ........ by the time 9:05 rolled around and i could give myself the reward of an orgasm... i was so not in the mood!! my pussy hurt for god's sakes...... i was tired and cranky.. but the gentle vibrations soothed the savage beast in me... and i lay there just enjoying it.......... letting the stresses of the day.. the past week .... vibrate out ............. yeah yeah i had an orgasm.. not an earth rocking squirting whole body trembling one.. but i had one....... and then a nice hot bath...........

When i crawled into bed.. my whole world felt like it had been righted on it's axis once again............ and i slept.

BUT trust me.. i won't forget soon to keep my email program open and running !!!